Eating out?

[Anonymous]

We provide dinner every night, either via cooking, family takeout or freezer to oven/pasta/eggs type things kids can make on their own.

We do not pay for takeout for a teen if the rest of the family is eating at home.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I only pay for takeout if the family is having takeout and/or I am not providing some other form of dinner, and leftovers count as dinner.

So technically, I do not provide food Thursday or Friday , and then Saturday I don’t provide any of the meals.

So what would you count that as 4?

I mean, I don’t count breakfast

Is there food provided by you available to them on Thursday, Friday and Saturday?

I'm not the PP you replied to, but in my mind if I have, for example the ingredients for an omelet, toast, and fruit in the fridge, and maybe another similar choice. I consider that "providing food".

If the fridge is empty, or there is nothing that adds up to a meal or that is within the kids' capablilities, I would consider that not providing a meal.

On those days I usually eat a pb&j or cottage cheese and fruit. I go to the gym on Wed/Fri/Sat. I don’t eat after and don’t cook.

There is usually leftover food for W/Th.

We have frozen pizza, soup, sandwich, quesadilla ingredients. They make their own food or eat leftovers often but once during the week after school they usually grab something with friends, on Saturday afternoon the same.

Seems like you prioritize your own schedule and eating preferences over those of your kids. Usually leftover food for W/TH implies that sometimes there isn’t. Who wants their kids to eat frozen convenience foods or sandwiches multiple nights a week?

I just find if I cook more than three nights a week there’s so much food in the fridge that I throw out on Saturday.

Also, this is our winter schedule in the summer my son’s jobs close at dark so sometimes they don’t get home till 10 PM.

I don’t think sandwiches or quesadillas or even frozen pizza is bad for your for you?

My kids are super healthy so that’s not a concern.

I don’t cook every night either, OP. And not out of laziness- just because it becomes too much food and too many leftovers and stuff gets tossed. So leftovers need to be mostly gone before I start a fully new cooked meal. I don’t buy frozen convenience food and make my own breads, naan, and tortillas. There is always something to eat

Then why not make a normal amount of food?

[Anonymous]

They don’t get carryout on their own. We do it a few times a week as a family. We only use delivery on a rare occasion like all of us are sick. The fees are too high.

[Anonymous]

I’ll pay once a week maybe twice.
If DD is hanging out with friends more than that she pays for her own food/drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I only pay for takeout if the family is having takeout and/or I am not providing some other form of dinner, and leftovers count as dinner.

So technically, I do not provide food Thursday or Friday , and then Saturday I don’t provide any of the meals.

So what would you count that as 4?

I mean, I don’t count breakfast

Is there food provided by you available to them on Thursday, Friday and Saturday?

I'm not the PP you replied to, but in my mind if I have, for example the ingredients for an omelet, toast, and fruit in the fridge, and maybe another similar choice. I consider that "providing food".

If the fridge is empty, or there is nothing that adds up to a meal or that is within the kids' capablilities, I would consider that not providing a meal.

On those days I usually eat a pb&j or cottage cheese and fruit. I go to the gym on Wed/Fri/Sat. I don’t eat after and don’t cook.

There is usually leftover food for W/Th.

We have frozen pizza, soup, sandwich, quesadilla ingredients. They make their own food or eat leftovers often but once during the week after school they usually grab something with friends, on Saturday afternoon the same.

Seems like you prioritize your own schedule and eating preferences over those of your kids. Usually leftover food for W/TH implies that sometimes there isn’t. Who wants their kids to eat frozen convenience foods or sandwiches multiple nights a week?

I just find if I cook more than three nights a week there’s so much food in the fridge that I throw out on Saturday.

Also, this is our winter schedule in the summer my son’s jobs close at dark so sometimes they don’t get home till 10 PM.

I don’t think sandwiches or quesadillas or even frozen pizza is bad for your for you?

My kids are super healthy so that’s not a concern.

I don’t cook every night either, OP. And not out of laziness- just because it becomes too much food and too many leftovers and stuff gets tossed. So leftovers need to be mostly gone before I start a fully new cooked meal. I don’t buy frozen convenience food and make my own breads, naan, and tortillas. There is always something to eat

Then why not make a normal amount of food?

DP, because many of us work all day outside the home and then drive a kid or two to practices in the evening. We want to have leftovers to not have to cook every night. It’s not practical for us to cook a new meal every night if our kids are involved in anything. I cook on the nights I don’t drive or meal prep as much as possible on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Maybe once a week? Sometimes twice (out Fri evening then Sat afternoon or something)

[Anonymous]

The expectation at our house is generally that food is available for dinner at home Sun - Thurs. I would not pay for my kid to get takeout on a regular night like this.

Fri and Sat are more of a free-for-all and if my kid is out eating with friends I expect her to cover herself. If she's at home I'd cover paying for or providing dinner.

If she wants to get lunch or breakfast out she's typically on her own to cover that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How often do you pay for your HS kids to eat out. I mean Chipotle or chick fila etc ~ 12 tops.

We cook dinner Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. We expect our kids/us to eat leftovers Wednesday. Thursday, Friday, Saturday it’s every man for himself. So they could cook a frozen pizza or make soup or a sandwich.

My expectations is 2 times.

My H thinks 1 is enough.

My sister (not that she has a vote) thinks 3-4x.

OMG you are sick.

Controlling much.

Who does this?

Leftovers on Friday from like Monday gross.

Let them eat out at least they won't get food poisioning from their stupid parents.

Let them get jobs if you are too cheap to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s odd that dinner is only provided three times a week. Leftovers 50% of each week and every man for himself once seems a bit much for a family.

+1

It's not a family OP is controlling and sick.

[Anonymous]

I feel like there is very little overlap between the people who turn up their noses at leftovers and expect a hot, fresh meal every night, and the people who actually are responsible for cooking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s odd that dinner is only provided three times a week. Leftovers 50% of each week and every man for himself once seems a bit much for a family.

+1

It's not a family OP is controlling and sick.

DP. OP said leftovers ONE night- after cooking three nights. Surely that isn’t such hardship. The other two nights where it’s “every man for themselves” doesn’t mean leftovers- it means make yourself a sandwich, eggs, burrito, something simple. There is nothing “controlling and sick” about this. What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

I think some families must be much better off financially than ours is. Dining out and takeout are both uncommon for us. We never ever use delivery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some families must be much better off financially than ours is. Dining out and takeout are both uncommon for us. We never ever use delivery.

People are just lazy, it’s not even wealth at this point. We are wealthy. We cook most nights, but also eat leftovers of home cooked meals, have no issues eating (or making) scrambled eggs for dinner, and never get delivery. Takeout almost never. We’ll eat out on weekends if we are gone most of the day/out of town. Our teens seems fine with this and don’t even ask to get takeout.

[Anonymous]

If my teen (17) is meeting friends on her own volition, she pays. If I'm asking her to pick up food for us or I have plans that keep me from cooking on what would normally be a meal together, I reimburse her.

[Anonymous]

We get take out as a family typically 1x week. Sometimes on a busy week it will be twice. Unless it was otherwise discussed I wouldn't buy my kids takeout if we weren't all eating it. But I also mostly make their meals every night. We do typically eat together or if a kid comes home late I help them heat up a plate. Its never every man for himself. I might say "you can have the chicken or the pasta" but a parent still helps provide a meal every single day.

I can understand people with different scenarios though, especially if your kids have wildly different schedules.

In your situation I would provide more guidance on the every man nights because it sounds like maybe your kids dont think there is enough food or they cant figure out what to eat so take out is an easy option. Even when youre not cooking would it help to make a list of available meals and leave it in the kitchen?