Can a cruise family and a non-cruise family ever happily vacation together?

[Anonymous]

DH and I are NOT cruise people. I hate that it always seems so crowded. I've never been impressed by the food. The entertainment is meh. The excursions are fine, but if I want to do Caribbean type stuff I'd rather just go to a hotel in the Caribbean. And I refuse to do any European type cruise because that's not how I want to enjoy Europe. We've lucked out that we've never gotten sick on one at least.

My in laws love them. They do 3-4 a year between the Caribbean and Europe.

We do a cruise about every 3rd family vacation. We will have a good time despite not being cruise people. It's a vacation, time together as a family (and I like my in laws), and we can find the good in it. I'm not so miserable of a person that I'd let me vacation be ruined by concentrating on all the things I dislike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an anti-cruise person. And for what its worth, also an anti multi family trip person.

I like just travelling with my immediate family. I don't enjoy trying to coordinate a huge group. I like hiking, I like cities, I like backpacking. You know what my extended family and DH's extended family hate? All those things. They're cruise and/or beach people. Fine. Good for them. Not our thing.

And, frankly, both my brother and DH's sister are selfish. obnoxious people married to equally selfish and obnoxious people, who constantly dump their kids on everyone else. It's not enjoyable.

I sucked it up and did a multi-generational beach trip last summer because that's what my dad wanted for his 75th birthday. Fortunately we all had our own rentals. By day 3, everyone, including my parents, were completely over my brother and his wife and their 8 children. Never again.

+100 We went to a family destination wedding in a place that we had wanted to vacation at some point anyway. The location was pretty much ruined by having to deal with extended family for almost two weeks! Siblings and cousins dumping kids because ya know SAH mommies just never get a vacation like WOH mommies do. There were 2-3 hall monitors/cruise director types constantly battling each other and trying to schedule everyone all the time. It was very difficult to break away as you couldn’t announce that just you, your spouse and kids were going to skip and go do something else. This was a beacon for the most annoying moochers to squeal oh goody goody I’ve always wanted to go do that, park there butt in our car and of course expect that we treat and pay for them. You couldn’t say you all needed some rest and were staying in because this was a beacon for the SAH mommies to dump their brood of poorly behaved kids on you to watch since you weren’t doing anything. There were the boomers constantly trying to give preschoolers sips of alcoholic cocktails. Boomers controlling every restaurant and meal..of course others paying.so it was an expensive and flavorless trip.

If it had been a cruise, DH and I would have jumped overboard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the anti cruise people actually been on a cruise? It’s all about expectations. It’s not the kind of trip where you are authentically immersing yourself into new parts of the world. The food isn’t great (even in the concierge level). They can absolutely be too crowded. Some of the people suck. The entertainment is hit or miss. The pool area itself is loud and crowded. But like any trip, it’s what you make of it.

My uncle can drink and gamble. DH can go to trivia and karaoke. The kids can go on water slides and play mini golf. The teens and young adults can listen to live music and dance. And I can spend a day in the spa and can always find a tucked away quiet corner to read a book. And no one has to plan meals or clean.

It works really really well for mixed groups if people keep an open mind and think creatively about how to get what they want out of it.

I’m sure some of the anti cruise people have been on one and others haven’t but that isn’t the point. Read what you just wrote above…the food isn’t great, entertainment is hit or miss, pool area crowded and now couple this with t costing 1-2 weeks of PTO, thousands for the cruise, flights to and from ports, extras on board and excursions. It’s a huge expense in time and money for a trip that you have to lower expectations for not to be miserable and have at best a mediocre time all to make older people happy.

The pro cruise posters themselves are saying it’s a suck it up, just do it for the boomers, or keep your mouth shut and pretend it’s a great vacation. Just no.

If I'm going on vacation, with the goal of spending time with family, then I'm going to need to compromise to find something that meets the needs of all the family. My immediate family is me and teenagers. If I had unlimited money and was planning a vacation for just us, we'd go skiing, or an adventure vacation in Costa Rica or the Rockies or something like that. Because my kids would love that.

But, if I'm planning a vacation with the goal of spending time with loved ones, I need to recognize that my elderly dad doesn't want to go white water rafting and rock climbing on vacation, and my 1 year old nephew doesn't want a vacation with multiple connecting flights leading to a long car ride. So, we're looking at cruises, because they will give everyone most of what they want.

Is it perfect? No. But neither is a vacation without Grandpa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an anti-cruise person. And for what its worth, also an anti multi family trip person.

I like just travelling with my immediate family. I don't enjoy trying to coordinate a huge group. I like hiking, I like cities, I like backpacking. You know what my extended family and DH's extended family hate? All those things. They're cruise and/or beach people. Fine. Good for them. Not our thing.

And, frankly, both my brother and DH's sister are selfish. obnoxious people married to equally selfish and obnoxious people, who constantly dump their kids on everyone else. It's not enjoyable.

I sucked it up and did a multi-generational beach trip last summer because that's what my dad wanted for his 75th birthday. Fortunately we all had our own rentals. By day 3, everyone, including my parents, were completely over my brother and his wife and their 8 children. Never again.

+100 We went to a family destination wedding in a place that we had wanted to vacation at some point anyway. The location was pretty much ruined by having to deal with extended family for almost two weeks! Siblings and cousins dumping kids because ya know SAH mommies just never get a vacation like WOH mommies do. There were 2-3 hall monitors/cruise director types constantly battling each other and trying to schedule everyone all the time. It was very difficult to break away as you couldn’t announce that just you, your spouse and kids were going to skip and go do something else. This was a beacon for the most annoying moochers to squeal oh goody goody I’ve always wanted to go do that, park there butt in our car and of course expect that we treat and pay for them. You couldn’t say you all needed some rest and were staying in because this was a beacon for the SAH mommies to dump their brood of poorly behaved kids on you to watch since you weren’t doing anything. There were the boomers constantly trying to give preschoolers sips of alcoholic cocktails. Boomers controlling every restaurant and meal..of course others paying.so it was an expensive and flavorless trip.

If it had been a cruise, DH and I would have jumped overboard.

OP's question is "can a cruise family and a non-cruise family ever happily vacation together?" It sounds like your family isn't ever going to be able to vacation happily together. The cruise thing isn't the reason why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an anti-cruise person. And for what its worth, also an anti multi family trip person.

I like just travelling with my immediate family. I don't enjoy trying to coordinate a huge group. I like hiking, I like cities, I like backpacking. You know what my extended family and DH's extended family hate? All those things. They're cruise and/or beach people. Fine. Good for them. Not our thing.

And, frankly, both my brother and DH's sister are selfish. obnoxious people married to equally selfish and obnoxious people, who constantly dump their kids on everyone else. It's not enjoyable.

I sucked it up and did a multi-generational beach trip last summer because that's what my dad wanted for his 75th birthday. Fortunately we all had our own rentals. By day 3, everyone, including my parents, were completely over my brother and his wife and their 8 children. Never again.

+100 We went to a family destination wedding in a place that we had wanted to vacation at some point anyway. The location was pretty much ruined by having to deal with extended family for almost two weeks! Siblings and cousins dumping kids because ya know SAH mommies just never get a vacation like WOH mommies do. There were 2-3 hall monitors/cruise director types constantly battling each other and trying to schedule everyone all the time. It was very difficult to break away as you couldn’t announce that just you, your spouse and kids were going to skip and go do something else. This was a beacon for the most annoying moochers to squeal oh goody goody I’ve always wanted to go do that, park there butt in our car and of course expect that we treat and pay for them. You couldn’t say you all needed some rest and were staying in because this was a beacon for the SAH mommies to dump their brood of poorly behaved kids on you to watch since you weren’t doing anything. There were the boomers constantly trying to give preschoolers sips of alcoholic cocktails. Boomers controlling every restaurant and meal..of course others paying.so it was an expensive and flavorless trip.

If it had been a cruise, DH and I would have jumped overboard.

PP, you sound like the miserable one actually. Your post gives off such a negative vibe. Are you ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the anti cruise people actually been on a cruise? It’s all about expectations. It’s not the kind of trip where you are authentically immersing yourself into new parts of the world. The food isn’t great (even in the concierge level). They can absolutely be too crowded. Some of the people suck. The entertainment is hit or miss. The pool area itself is loud and crowded. But like any trip, it’s what you make of it.

My uncle can drink and gamble. DH can go to trivia and karaoke. The kids can go on water slides and play mini golf. The teens and young adults can listen to live music and dance. And I can spend a day in the spa and can always find a tucked away quiet corner to read a book. And no one has to plan meals or clean.

It works really really well for mixed groups if people keep an open mind and think creatively about how to get what they want out of it.

I’m sure some of the anti cruise people have been on one and others haven’t but that isn’t the point. Read what you just wrote above…the food isn’t great, entertainment is hit or miss, pool area crowded and now couple this with t costing 1-2 weeks of PTO, thousands for the cruise, flights to and from ports, extras on board and excursions. It’s a huge expense in time and money for a trip that you have to lower expectations for not to be miserable and have at best a mediocre time all to make older people happy.

The pro cruise posters themselves are saying it’s a suck it up, just do it for the boomers, or keep your mouth shut and pretend it’s a great vacation. Just no.

Everything you have criticized can be solved with a new cruise line or ship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess my question for anti-cruise is, what are you pro? Are you going to do all the work of booking accommodations and 3x restaurants and entertainment for 15+ people?

A large beach house, or multiple beach houses. Each family unit provides one dinner for all. Order pizza one night. Breakfast and lunch are on your own.

That sounds miserable. Have you never read DCUM beach house threads???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the anti cruise people actually been on a cruise? It’s all about expectations. It’s not the kind of trip where you are authentically immersing yourself into new parts of the world. The food isn’t great (even in the concierge level). They can absolutely be too crowded. Some of the people suck. The entertainment is hit or miss. The pool area itself is loud and crowded. But like any trip, it’s what you make of it.

My uncle can drink and gamble. DH can go to trivia and karaoke. The kids can go on water slides and play mini golf. The teens and young adults can listen to live music and dance. And I can spend a day in the spa and can always find a tucked away quiet corner to read a book. And no one has to plan meals or clean.

It works really really well for mixed groups if people keep an open mind and think creatively about how to get what they want out of it.

I’m sure some of the anti cruise people have been on one and others haven’t but that isn’t the point. Read what you just wrote above…the food isn’t great, entertainment is hit or miss, pool area crowded and now couple this with t costing 1-2 weeks of PTO, thousands for the cruise, flights to and from ports, extras on board and excursions. It’s a huge expense in time and money for a trip that you have to lower expectations for not to be miserable and have at best a mediocre time all to make older people happy.

The pro cruise posters themselves are saying it’s a suck it up, just do it for the boomers, or keep your mouth shut and pretend it’s a great vacation. Just no.

Everything you have criticized can be solved with a new cruise line or ship.

We've done 4 different ones and have felt the same about all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the anti cruise people actually been on a cruise? It’s all about expectations. It’s not the kind of trip where you are authentically immersing yourself into new parts of the world. The food isn’t great (even in the concierge level). They can absolutely be too crowded. Some of the people suck. The entertainment is hit or miss. The pool area itself is loud and crowded. But like any trip, it’s what you make of it.

My uncle can drink and gamble. DH can go to trivia and karaoke. The kids can go on water slides and play mini golf. The teens and young adults can listen to live music and dance. And I can spend a day in the spa and can always find a tucked away quiet corner to read a book. And no one has to plan meals or clean.

It works really really well for mixed groups if people keep an open mind and think creatively about how to get what they want out of it.

I’m sure some of the anti cruise people have been on one and others haven’t but that isn’t the point. Read what you just wrote above…the food isn’t great, entertainment is hit or miss, pool area crowded and now couple this with t costing 1-2 weeks of PTO, thousands for the cruise, flights to and from ports, extras on board and excursions. It’s a huge expense in time and money for a trip that you have to lower expectations for not to be miserable and have at best a mediocre time all to make older people happy.

The pro cruise posters themselves are saying it’s a suck it up, just do it for the boomers, or keep your mouth shut and pretend it’s a great vacation. Just no.

If I'm going on vacation, with the goal of spending time with family, then I'm going to need to compromise to find something that meets the needs of all the family. My immediate family is me and teenagers. If I had unlimited money and was planning a vacation for just us, we'd go skiing, or an adventure vacation in Costa Rica or the Rockies or something like that. Because my kids would love that.

But, if I'm planning a vacation with the goal of spending time with loved ones, I need to recognize that my elderly dad doesn't want to go white water rafting and rock climbing on vacation, and my 1 year old nephew doesn't want a vacation with multiple connecting flights leading to a long car ride. So, we're looking at cruises, because they will give everyone most of what they want.

Is it perfect? No. But neither is a vacation without Grandpa.

So you are admitting that your multigenerational trip sucks and you do it to solely for Grandpa's benefit. You aren’t taking a vacation that you or your kids would enjoy, you are taking one that Grandpa can handle.

This answers OP question. No non cruise families will not enjoy the cruise but according to some they should just suck it up because of old people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have the anti cruise people actually been on a cruise? It’s all about expectations. It’s not the kind of trip where you are authentically immersing yourself into new parts of the world. The food isn’t great (even in the concierge level). They can absolutely be too crowded. Some of the people suck. The entertainment is hit or miss. The pool area itself is loud and crowded. But like any trip, it’s what you make of it.

My uncle can drink and gamble. DH can go to trivia and karaoke. The kids can go on water slides and play mini golf. The teens and young adults can listen to live music and dance. And I can spend a day in the spa and can always find a tucked away quiet corner to read a book. And no one has to plan meals or clean.

It works really really well for mixed groups if people keep an open mind and think creatively about how to get what they want out of it.

I’m sure some of the anti cruise people have been on one and others haven’t but that isn’t the point. Read what you just wrote above…the food isn’t great, entertainment is hit or miss, pool area crowded and now couple this with t costing 1-2 weeks of PTO, thousands for the cruise, flights to and from ports, extras on board and excursions. It’s a huge expense in time and money for a trip that you have to lower expectations for not to be miserable and have at best a mediocre time all to make older people happy.

The pro cruise posters themselves are saying it’s a suck it up, just do it for the boomers, or keep your mouth shut and pretend it’s a great vacation. Just no.

If I'm going on vacation, with the goal of spending time with family, then I'm going to need to compromise to find something that meets the needs of all the family. My immediate family is me and teenagers. If I had unlimited money and was planning a vacation for just us, we'd go skiing, or an adventure vacation in Costa Rica or the Rockies or something like that. Because my kids would love that.

But, if I'm planning a vacation with the goal of spending time with loved ones, I need to recognize that my elderly dad doesn't want to go white water rafting and rock climbing on vacation, and my 1 year old nephew doesn't want a vacation with multiple connecting flights leading to a long car ride. So, we're looking at cruises, because they will give everyone most of what they want.

Is it perfect? No. But neither is a vacation without Grandpa.

So you are admitting that your multigenerational trip sucks and you do it to solely for Grandpa's benefit. You aren’t taking a vacation that you or your kids would enjoy, you are taking one that Grandpa can handle.

This answers OP question. No non cruise families will not enjoy the cruise but according to some they should just suck it up because of old people.

No, I'm admitting that I enjoy being with people I love in imperfect situations, more than I'd enjoy a perfect vacation without the people I love.

[Anonymous]

I am definitely an anti-cruise person (never been and it is absolutely not what I would pick). But that being said, I would rally and go on one to at least try it if it meant an entire extended family could get together.

Now if I had already taken a cruise and hated it, that might be a different story.

If the anti-cruise people have never tried it and are just digging their heels in about not wanting to go on a cruise, I think they should at least try it. Otherwise they come across as snobby and inflexible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or should they just reconcile themselves to separate vacations?

Happily? No as by definition you are choosing a type of vacation that you know the other family doesn’t enjoy.