On a scale of 1-10 how rude is it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were hosting the party, the guest had a valid excuse for being late and we found a way for them to not ruin the surprise, I would be fine with it. Life happens.

This. Also, depending on how late they’ll be if they could have coffee and dessert and skip the meal.

Sometimes people have legitimate reasons for being late. They may have something that they are required to be at and event was scheduled later.

If you want them there to try to find a way to be flexible. But they absolutely cannot get there at the same time as the guest.

This was my time blind husband who wanted to jam too much into the morning before leaving and did not think it was necessary to show up at the time requested on the invite. We made a solution but he had no context for the surprise aspect plus the seated meal aspect as it played into being on time much as I tried to explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, sincere thanks to the two repliers. This was enough.

Confirmation bias.
You are done after two replies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends

+1

[Anonymous]

Depends. If I was the host and you had some real issue... like flying back from x that day, Drs appointment scheduled ,4 months ago etc. And you were a key player, close relative or friend, I would be happy you could pop in
We would not wait to eat. I would assume you would just order a drink If you said nothing and just came late because you lost track of time or ? That would be rude.

[Anonymous]

Sure, if it's the only way you can attend, and you are absolutely sure that you're not ruining the surprise, with your timing. Once you arrive, explain to the honoree that you knew you'l have to be late. They'd rather you come!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, sincere thanks to the two repliers. This was enough.

Not so fast Op. what’s the reason they have to be late? Is this an overslept oversight or was there a game scheduled at the same time and the late arriver’s kid/the honoree’s golden grandbaby is the star player? They need to call grandma and let her know.