Ditched on shadow day?

[Anonymous]

Yes, red flag

[Anonymous]

Unbelievable how so many people in the thread blamed my son (??) for getting ditched in a strange place with no context whatsoever. Would love to know where you send your children to school so I can avoid at all costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how so many people in the thread blamed my son (??) for getting ditched in a strange place with no context whatsoever. Would love to know where you send your children to school so I can avoid at all costs.

I think most posters believe that it wasn’t your son’s fault but are trying to figure out where the breakdown in communication happened. What did the shadow day host say when they were reconnected? Was there an explanation? How did admissions handle it?

Sounds like an awkward, and even scary, situation that I would hope is not a common occurrence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not quite the same situation but in 6th grade my kid was assigned the new student on her first day. My kid was quite excited about it, she’s very social and friendly.
When I picked her up I asked how the day went with the new girl and she said “ mom, it was awful, I gave her to Larla” the new kid girl cane from public on a random weekday and on the first day used the N word, called kids fat and ugly etc.
Not sure why she came to our school but suffice to say she’s no longer with us.
Not saying your kid did those things OP but maybe there was a personality disconnect or something.

"Not saying it's your kid, but it's probably your kid". Thanks, PP!

This. Before blaming others, take a moment to consider whether your kid did something so obnoxious that the host walked away. My kids have hosted and both have stories of very inappropriate behavior by visiting students. This may be a red flag on your kid rather than the school.

This is such bull. Sounds like parents I know of boys that encourage and allow their kids to be bullies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son (rising 9th) was apparently ditched on his shadow day the other day. Host just up and left from the lunch table and left him there. My kid doesn't seem too phased by it (he went to the front office and they were able to reconnect him) but am I wrong to totally write off this school? Seems like a major red flag.

a

What school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unbelievable how so many people in the thread blamed my son (??) for getting ditched in a strange place with no context whatsoever. Would love to know where you send your children to school so I can avoid at all costs.

It is not your son’s fault but yes a red flag. The parents that defend this are the same parents that encourage and enable their sons to be bullies. Allow boxing in the locker room during basketball games and other forms of hazing at the lunch table even when teachers are present. Boys schools can be like lord of the flies. Brutal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to a private high school and k-8. This is a red flag. The school showed poor judgement using this kid as a shadow day rep and the kid who ditched yours is rude, immature, and clearly not a good community member.

This would not have happened at my either of my kid’s schools. I’m getting vibes that this is a diocesan school or large Catholic private. A lot of independent schools pride themselves on molding mature and polished kids that don’t “ditch” others. And before all of you start, I’m Catholic and we looked at Catholic schools for k-8 and high school. Also, refer back to PP saying their kid got ditched at Visi. No one else has responded saying this has happened at other schools.

Your trolling didn't work lol.

Not a troll. In fact, since I posted, SjC and Gonzaga were also talked about. In addition to the already posted complaint about a Visi girl ditching her shadow…and not one complaint about an independent school. So own it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to a private high school and k-8. This is a red flag. The school showed poor judgement using this kid as a shadow day rep and the kid who ditched yours is rude, immature, and clearly not a good community member.

This would not have happened at my either of my kid’s schools. I’m getting vibes that this is a diocesan school or large Catholic private. A lot of independent schools pride themselves on molding mature and polished kids that don’t “ditch” others. And before all of you start, I’m Catholic and we looked at Catholic schools for k-8 and high school. Also, refer back to PP saying their kid got ditched at Visi. No one else has responded saying this has happened at other schools.

Your trolling didn't work lol.

Not a troll. In fact, since I posted, SjC and Gonzaga were also talked about. In addition to the already posted complaint about a Visi girl ditching her shadow…and not one complaint about an independent school. So own it.

There were also tales from unnamed schools. I mentioned my kid’s experience, which was with an Episcopal school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son (rising 9th) was apparently ditched on his shadow day the other day. Host just up and left from the lunch table and left him there. My kid doesn't seem too phased by it (he went to the front office and they were able to reconnect him) but am I wrong to totally write off this school? Seems like a major red flag.

Yes red flag and intentional. My child was an admissions shadow volunteer and had to apply for positions and be approved. They would never ever have ditched their shadow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD was passed around between kids at PVI, like a lost puppy whose owners can't be bothered to take care of it. It wasn't the only deciding factor but it was one among other data points that helped us form an opinion of the school.

That seems kind of okay to me! At least they found babysitters.

Yup more than likely the host had a couple of tests and it made more sense to show the shadow other classes than sit in a class bored out of their mind while the host takes a test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to a private high school and k-8. This is a red flag. The school showed poor judgement using this kid as a shadow day rep and the kid who ditched yours is rude, immature, and clearly not a good community member.

This would not have happened at my either of my kid’s schools. I’m getting vibes that this is a diocesan school or large Catholic private. A lot of independent schools pride themselves on molding mature and polished kids that don’t “ditch” others. And before all of you start, I’m Catholic and we looked at Catholic schools for k-8 and high school. Also, refer back to PP saying their kid got ditched at Visi. No one else has responded saying this has happened at other schools.

This is an insane response. It was one kid. And a 14 year-old boy at that.

[Anonymous]

Red flag. They chose a representative that is a representative of the student body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to a private high school and k-8. This is a red flag. The school showed poor judgement using this kid as a shadow day rep and the kid who ditched yours is rude, immature, and clearly not a good community member.

This would not have happened at my either of my kid’s schools. I’m getting vibes that this is a diocesan school or large Catholic private. A lot of independent schools pride themselves on molding mature and polished kids that don’t “ditch” others. And before all of you start, I’m Catholic and we looked at Catholic schools for k-8 and high school. Also, refer back to PP saying their kid got ditched at Visi. No one else has responded saying this has happened at other schools.

This is an insane response. It was one kid. And a 14 year-old boy at that.

Are you saying a 14 year old doesn't understand that ditching someone is wrong? lol. Boys will be boys, amirite? Let’s set the bar as low as possible.

[Anonymous]

As a former teacher, this is a red flag to me. Faculty and admissions staff chose student hosts. If they chose someone flaky or simply unkind, that sends a message that they don’t know their students well and aren’t setting expectations well. Perhaps they don’t have better candidates for student hosts. Schools also tend to do a lot of social-emotional work in everything from advisories to ethics classes. Any student in a private secondary school should have the social skills to start and maintain a pleasant conversation with a visiting student. They should be able to show care and kindness throughout the day, which means being accountable to the visiting student.

A lot of the commenters on this thread are setting the bar for student behavior on the floor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"He went to the front office, and they were able to help him reconnect."

That's what you focus on.

That my son is more competent than his host who is a year older and actually attends the school?

Yes, this is a red flag OP. Probably won't be a good fit for your son.