Parents of recruited football players - do you attend every game?

[Anonymous]

I have a college athlete. There are parents who go to every game/match, which shocked me. We've gone to 1-2 per year. Going to any more than 50% seems like overkill to me unless your kid is the star of the team with tons of playing time and wants you there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (non athlete) college student would hate if we visited her that often. She competes at a different activity and we only plan to attend if her team make the championships. Are athletes less independent than non athletes?

This is completely non responsive to the op, which asks specifically about sitting in the stands and watching a son play a dozen D1 football games at a very high level.

“Independence” is irrelevant. So are your daughter’s dance events

Op's decision making is what is low level. OP can to decide to go to the games or not. What DCUM thinks about it is irrelevant.

No one should ever crowd source anything or ask for advice on DCUM ever !!!! Remember : DCUM is only a place to discuss how much you love Taylor Swift

Okay well my advice is this decision is between the parent and their child and has nothing to do with anyone on this site. If you enjoy the games and can afford to travel to the games then go if that's what you want to do with your time and energy. I would discuss it with the student to make sure they are on board.

[Anonymous]

Of course not.

They are not children anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume your son’s college is a plane ride away, as are all the away games. Does one or both parents fly out to watch the game and pay for hotels?

Trying to think ahead here for next year

That sounds insane to even consider.

Explain?

For the sake of discussion, assume that our son is the last to leave the nest, so there’s no teenagers at home. We do have a dog, but my sister will happily take that dog for the weekend so pet sitting isn’t a problem.

We can pretty easily afford plane tickets and hotels if we plan well in advance and select economy flights

Adults don’t have their parents still present as they go through their lives (eg, give a presentation at work). You can cheer him on from home. Your proximity needs to fall back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (non athlete) college student would hate if we visited her that often. She competes at a different activity and we only plan to attend if her team make the championships. Are athletes less independent than non athletes?

This is completely non responsive to the op, which asks specifically about sitting in the stands and watching a son play a dozen D1 football games at a very high level.

“Independence” is irrelevant. So are your daughter’s dance events

Op's decision making is what is low level. OP can to decide to go to the games or not. What DCUM thinks about it is irrelevant.

No one should ever crowd source anything or ask for advice on DCUM ever !!!! Remember : DCUM is only a place to discuss how much you love Taylor Swift

Okay well my advice is this decision is between the parent and their child and has nothing to do with anyone on this site. If you enjoy the games and can afford to travel to the games then go if that's what you want to do with your time and energy. I would discuss it with the student to make sure they are on board.

Right, because afterwards they do not want the pressure of having to act like a host because you flew into town to see them.

They want to hang out with their friends and teammates.

[Anonymous]

OP…ask the honest questions. Your kid doesn’t care that you are physically in the stadium for all games or even most games.

What you want to know is if you will be on the social outside looking in because 90% of the parents attend most games or it won’t be an issue because most parents attend some games? Does that mean you aren’t invited to parent gatherings or included on the parent chats?

Unfortunately all that bullshit is real and it’s awful at some schools to almost nonexistent at others.

This isn’t something you concern your son with but information you figure out independently (by reaching out to the parent groups) and then you make your own decisions regarding what you learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son went to college in Boston.

The first year we went to every game, but we had a child at home. So we either included one of us or all three of us. My junior said he would have a party if we left them at home alone. He was just being honest and he said his friends would pressure him into it so…

The second year was Covid so… we didn’t have a year, the third year was post Covid and parents weren’t allowed to attend.

For the next three years we went to almost every game. He ended up with two years of extra eligibility and went to graduate school.

Every game has pregame with parents, a post game for the players and parents, then there was a gathering with all the senior and junior parents.

We either flew up or drove up the day of and drove back the next day.

It is so much fun. I wouldn’t have done it any other way.

He did have a really bad injury and yeah, I was very happy to be there. I couldn’t imagine watching it on TV.

My friend son played basketball and she went to every game which to me I was in the same because they have multiple games a week and their season is so much longer.

Weird that your kid feels he could be forced by his friends to have a party despite family rules.

I would worry about the friend group and your kid’s self esteem. (What will he be pressured to do in college??)

[Anonymous]

We have friends who have busy careers (dr and lawyer) and they attend their son’s college football games. I believe they attend every home game and a few of the away games. Their DS attends school a 4 hour flight away. I didn’t know parents did this, but it is definitely a thing. I was so surprised.

[Anonymous]

We are in California and our kid is an HYP football player. We are definitely at every home game. Away games is "depends"...getting to Ithaca completely different than Columbia for example. Love the other parents that we have met over the years and love taking my kid and his teammates out dinner after games. Will be sad when it all ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid going away to college is a great opportunity/time for you to pick up new hobbies, skills, or friendships!

Clearly you don't have an athlete or you were one of the crappy parents who was MIA for their games.

My kids college coach is so irritated with the over
involvement parents at the college level. Find something else to do with yourself then piss off your kids couch.

Why irritated?? It's not like the parents are demanding playing time for their kids. Cheering on the sideline and showing support and love make the coach mad?

[Anonymous]

I would attend selected games such as the very first or last game of the season, the game where they are promoted to start for the first couple of times, big rivalry or homecoming games, away games that happen to be within driving distance, and bowl games or an early round of NCAA tournaments (for football/basketball). Assuming big-time sports that OP alluded to, with transferring and NIL becoming so prevalent these days, there is little guarantee kids would remain at the same school the following year. So enjoy supporting them while possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume your son’s college is a plane ride away, as are all the away games. Does one or both parents fly out to watch the game and pay for hotels?

Trying to think ahead here for next year

That sounds insane to even consider.

This. I am retired and wealthy and still don’t do anything remotely like this.

Does your son play football for Michigan? Because that’s the level of sport that I’m asking about — op

Mine does. We go to every game. Same for his brother who graduated a couple of years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid going away to college is a great opportunity/time for you to pick up new hobbies, skills, or friendships!

Clearly you don't have an athlete or you were one of the crappy parents who was MIA for their games.

My kids college coach is so irritated with the over
involvement parents at the college level. Find something else to do with yourself then piss off your kids couch.

Your kid's football coach? We haven't spoken to our son's coach since recruitment. I can't imagine most other parents have either. We did run into him once while out in the town and just said hello. Maybe that was irritating that we recognized him and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does any of this depend at all on if your kid is actually playing? If they are the third string field goal kicker with almost no chance of actually getting in the game, are you as likely to go?

My DS "played" D3 baseball. He was on the team but only played four innings in his four years on the team. After his freshman year, we realized he was never going to play but I still went to almost every single home game and any away games that were within a two hour drive. He was at a school about an hour from home so going to games was not a huge burden. I also went to his spring break games, which required a week long hotel stay. He typically had one week day game and three games on the weekend, 45 plus games over the course of the season.

Why did I go to watch my DS sit in the stands and keep stats? He liked it when I was there - we usually went out to eat after the games and he would never turn down a free meal! Life is short and the time we get to spend with our almost launched children is precious.

There were a couple of other parents with sons who rarely played who would attend most home weekend games. There were also parents of starters who rarely attended games. I would never judge parents who do or don't attend games - are there younger children at home? is it a financial burden to travel to games? does your job allow you to attend games? (one of the parents was a nurse and worked weekends.)

Good luck to your son!

Thank you this is sweet to hear. This is OP. We already know he won’t be playing much of the time. I do think it would be meaningful to him just to know we were there and supporting his work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does any of this depend at all on if your kid is actually playing? If they are the third string field goal kicker with almost no chance of actually getting in the game, are you as likely to go?

My DS "played" D3 baseball. He was on the team but only played four innings in his four years on the team. After his freshman year, we realized he was never going to play but I still went to almost every single home game and any away games that were within a two hour drive. He was at a school about an hour from home so going to games was not a huge burden. I also went to his spring break games, which required a week long hotel stay. He typically had one week day game and three games on the weekend, 45 plus games over the course of the season.

Why did I go to watch my DS sit in the stands and keep stats? He liked it when I was there - we usually went out to eat after the games and he would never turn down a free meal! Life is short and the time we get to spend with our almost launched children is precious.

There were a couple of other parents with sons who rarely played who would attend most home weekend games. There were also parents of starters who rarely attended games. I would never judge parents who do or don't attend games - are there younger children at home? is it a financial burden to travel to games? does your job allow you to attend games? (one of the parents was a nurse and worked weekends.)

Good luck to your son!

Thank you this is sweet to hear. This is OP. We already know he won’t be playing much of the time. I do think it would be meaningful to him just to know we were there and supporting his work.

I don’t understand this at all. Just go visit your kid every weekend if he needs that level of support. Why does it even matter if they play a sport?