Adult ADHD diagnoses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I called a lot of things bs until it happened to me too.

Feel fortunate, OP. Perhaps you won’t ever have to come to that sort of realization.

What happened to you? What is it that happens to these women who are leading objectively successful lives into their 30s, that suddenly they get these ADHD diagnoses and we're supposed to believe that actually they were struggling all along even as they managed to get through school, tough careers, and successful social lives? I truly don't get it.

I have a BIL who was diagnosed with ADHD in his 30s but when he was diagnosed it seemed obvious that he'd been struggling a long time. He didn't do great in school, had trouble making and keeping friends because some of his ADHD behaviors (which were deemed "quirks") were really off-putting, and he had a hard time holding down a job. He didn't get diagnosed earlier because he grew up when people really focused on the "hyperactivity" aspect of ADHD and didn't really understand the other ways it could present. But he had real impacts of his ADHD on his life and now he's doing much better on med.

I cannot square that with people who have been wildly successful in every aspect of their lives for decades but then claim to have ADHD. This theory about perimenopause triggering "latent" ADHD sounds like pseudoscience, I want to see some actual evidence that's a real thing.

Wait till you find out that I’m not truly celiac, but I’m so sensitive to wheat that my allergist says to act as if I am. AND it didn’t start until I was in my 30s. So I’m that person saying I have a gluten allergy even though I don’t because my body manages it that way.

Chemistry and brain structure is wild. Things can change over time. Also, it can be that some individuals manage things fairly well until an extra thing gets thrown into the mix then the coping mechanism as they used to no longer work. you can hyper focus for certain things, but be completely nonfunctional for others. Hormones, screens, aging bodies all of this can factor in

No one needs to prove or square up anything to you. You can’t understand it and that’s OK!

ADHD is not like celiac. You cannot acquire it in your 30s after a lifetime of academic and professional success, maybe barring some kind of brain injury.

You can be unaware of what’s going on and sort it out as an adult though! 🤯

No, the symptoms are supposed to have a clinical impact from childhood. You would have to know the symptoms were there even if you didn’t know why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they struggled but made it through high school, university, grad school, and a career, the diagnosis most likely is correct. But, if symptoms suddenly showed up after years of hard work, they likely don't have it.

Please square "struggling" with successfully making it through K-12, college, grad school, and years in a highly demanding career.

Look, no one is happy or feeling great about themselves 100% of the time. Everyone has their stuff. But if you can have your issues while also successfully navigating a very demanding education and a career in a tough field, then you don't have ADHD. You might have anxiety, OCD, depression, or some other mental health issue. But you don't have ADHD.

I think PP is talking about the subset of people with really disparate abilities. So smart that they ace the SAT and get into a good college but fail out and go to the community college for a year, pull it together to get back in and graduate … rinse, repeat. This type of person can end up doing well in a career if they compensate and find a setting where their skills are valued more than their challenges are a problem.

Agreed, that happens.

OP is talking about people who ace the SAT, get into a good college, do well enough there to get into law school or med school, and then go on to practice for 10 years, but suddenly have an ADHD diagnosis at the age of 35 or 40. I've known at least 4 people who meet this description and it makes no sense to me.

The kid who fails out of college after acing the SAT very likely has a real executive functioning issue that simply wasn't caught earlier because K-12 education is far more structured and their parents and teachers were likely accommodating their ADHD unwittingly. That diagnosis makes sense. We're not talking about people who have clearly demonstrated issues with executive functioning dating back to childhood or early adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they struggled but made it through high school, university, grad school, and a career, the diagnosis most likely is correct. But, if symptoms suddenly showed up after years of hard work, they likely don't have it.

Please square "struggling" with successfully making it through K-12, college, grad school, and years in a highly demanding career.

Look, no one is happy or feeling great about themselves 100% of the time. Everyone has their stuff. But if you can have your issues while also successfully navigating a very demanding education and a career in a tough field, then you don't have ADHD. You might have anxiety, OCD, depression, or some other mental health issue. But you don't have ADHD.

I think PP is talking about the subset of people with really disparate abilities. So smart that they ace the SAT and get into a good college but fail out and go to the community college for a year, pull it together to get back in and graduate … rinse, repeat. This type of person can end up doing well in a career if they compensate and find a setting where their skills are valued more than their challenges are a problem.

Agreed, that happens.

OP is talking about people who ace the SAT, get into a good college, do well enough there to get into law school or med school, and then go on to practice for 10 years, but suddenly have an ADHD diagnosis at the age of 35 or 40. I've known at least 4 people who meet this description and it makes no sense to me.

The kid who fails out of college after acing the SAT very likely has a real executive functioning issue that simply wasn't caught earlier because K-12 education is far more structured and their parents and teachers were likely accommodating their ADHD unwittingly. That diagnosis makes sense. We're not talking about people who have clearly demonstrated issues with executive functioning dating back to childhood or early adulthood.

Agree. A pattern of educational and workplace functioning for decades undermines an ADHD diagnosis. (which is why my GP very kindly laughed in my face when I brought my concerns to him.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.

OP is talking specifically about high achievers though. If there was "a problem all along" why didn't it result in, for instance, bad grades? Or difficulty making friends? How does someone with ADHD get into a competitive college, get a Masters degree, gain admission to a top ranked law school, clerk with a federal judge, and then work at a highly competitive Big Law firm, all while sustaining strong, longterm friendships and having an active social life and hobbies? It makes no sense. Yes, masking is a thing. But if you can mask that well.... I don't think you have ADHD, sorry. Usually people with ADHD have actual problems and difficulties with school or social settings.

You only see what's on the outside. You don't see them up all night, every night, working 50 times harder than everyone else just to get those results. They have actual problems; you just don't see them and they're not sharing them with you. There are also other factors just like with everyone else - intelligence, drive, interest in their area of expertise, - and then their ability to come up with coping mechanisms. ADHD doesn't mean complete incapacity to excel or do big things - it just means that it is much, much harder, and/or they might not follow the same process as others.

That’s not actually what ADHD means. I know adults with ADHD up very close and they are not working harder or staying up all night working. They are procrastinating and then panicking and then unable to focused and then repeat the cycle. They appear (are actually) extremely intelligent but then when you try to engage them on a process that requires planning and executive function it is like they do not speak English. And they do not have a record of excelling. They have a record of underperforming vs their capacities and then a record of overperforming when they can rely on their strengths only.

This. Kids with ADHD are often very intelligent but they will not get good grades and succeed at school all the way through college without intervention and treatment, because they will simply forget to do their work. Or they'll do it and forget to turn it in. Or they'll do other work that is more interesting to them but not the work actually assigned. If someone is high achieving enough to get straight As or close to it, go to a competitive college, and get into and succeed at law school, they have to excel not only at the stuff they like but all the other stuff too. They have to get their math homework done and remember to write that paper even after debate practice. Sure, parents or tutors could help with some of this, but the level of executive functioning necessary to exceed at that level is beyond a person with ADHD unless they have a diagnosis and interventions.

I believe something is going on with these women that is causing issues in their 30s and 40s. It's just not ADHD. But I guess that's the only way to get access to the prescriptions they want? They don't have ADHD.

Yep. And I will add that in the past when academic achievement was more based on substance (like a final or a paper) it was easier for otherwise gifted kids with ADHD to excel because they just had to produce one thing. Now grades are based on doing a million tiny things and tracking everything across 10 platforms with much less contribution of actual knowledge or understanding. MS today is basically an extended executive function test as far as I can tell. Back in the day when the smart kid could blow off school all semester then ace the final, these kids may not have appeared to have issues.

Yes but you are talking about like the 60s and 70s. Someone who grew up in the 80s and 90s still had to do tons of math homework and short essays and keep a journal for their civics class or whatever BS. We're talking about people in their 30s and 40s who graduated from high school in the late 90s or 00s. So these are people who had to pass the "executive functioning" test of high school with lots of expectations beyond just nailing the final.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they struggled but made it through high school, university, grad school, and a career, the diagnosis most likely is correct. But, if symptoms suddenly showed up after years of hard work, they likely don't have it.

Please square "struggling" with successfully making it through K-12, college, grad school, and years in a highly demanding career.

Look, no one is happy or feeling great about themselves 100% of the time. Everyone has their stuff. But if you can have your issues while also successfully navigating a very demanding education and a career in a tough field, then you don't have ADHD. You might have anxiety, OCD, depression, or some other mental health issue. But you don't have ADHD.

I think PP is talking about the subset of people with really disparate abilities. So smart that they ace the SAT and get into a good college but fail out and go to the community college for a year, pull it together to get back in and graduate … rinse, repeat. This type of person can end up doing well in a career if they compensate and find a setting where their skills are valued more than their challenges are a problem.

Agreed, that happens.

OP is talking about people who ace the SAT, get into a good college, do well enough there to get into law school or med school, and then go on to practice for 10 years, but suddenly have an ADHD diagnosis at the age of 35 or 40. I've known at least 4 people who meet this description and it makes no sense to me.

The kid who fails out of college after acing the SAT very likely has a real executive functioning issue that simply wasn't caught earlier because K-12 education is far more structured and their parents and teachers were likely accommodating their ADHD unwittingly. That diagnosis makes sense. We're not talking about people who have clearly demonstrated issues with executive functioning dating back to childhood or early adulthood.

Agree. A pattern of educational and workplace functioning for decades undermines an ADHD diagnosis. (which is why my GP very kindly laughed in my face when I brought my concerns to him.)

But you can get an ADHD diagnosis from a nurse practitioner with minimal experience who won't necessarily laugh in your face. Since Covid, you can see this person via a telemed appointment. So even someone like you could likely get an ADHD diagnosis if you really wanted one. I have an SIL who is an NP focusing on mental health and she'll give an ADHD diagnosis to pretty much anyone who asks.

[Anonymous]

Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they struggled but made it through high school, university, grad school, and a career, the diagnosis most likely is correct. But, if symptoms suddenly showed up after years of hard work, they likely don't have it.

Please square "struggling" with successfully making it through K-12, college, grad school, and years in a highly demanding career.

Look, no one is happy or feeling great about themselves 100% of the time. Everyone has their stuff. But if you can have your issues while also successfully navigating a very demanding education and a career in a tough field, then you don't have ADHD. You might have anxiety, OCD, depression, or some other mental health issue. But you don't have ADHD.

I think PP is talking about the subset of people with really disparate abilities. So smart that they ace the SAT and get into a good college but fail out and go to the community college for a year, pull it together to get back in and graduate … rinse, repeat. This type of person can end up doing well in a career if they compensate and find a setting where their skills are valued more than their challenges are a problem.

Agreed, that happens.

OP is talking about people who ace the SAT, get into a good college, do well enough there to get into law school or med school, and then go on to practice for 10 years, but suddenly have an ADHD diagnosis at the age of 35 or 40. I've known at least 4 people who meet this description and it makes no sense to me.

The kid who fails out of college after acing the SAT very likely has a real executive functioning issue that simply wasn't caught earlier because K-12 education is far more structured and their parents and teachers were likely accommodating their ADHD unwittingly. That diagnosis makes sense. We're not talking about people who have clearly demonstrated issues with executive functioning dating back to childhood or early adulthood.

Agree. A pattern of educational and workplace functioning for decades undermines an ADHD diagnosis. (which is why my GP very kindly laughed in my face when I brought my concerns to him.)

But you can get an ADHD diagnosis from a nurse practitioner with minimal experience who won't necessarily laugh in your face. Since Covid, you can see this person via a telemed appointment. So even someone like you could likely get an ADHD diagnosis if you really wanted one. I have an SIL who is an NP focusing on mental health and she'll give an ADHD diagnosis to pretty much anyone who asks.

PP here. ITA. My GP is very good and very experienced with the DC overachiever subset of patients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

If you have actual ADHD then everyone knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

You seem to be hyper focusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

You should be mad at the people claiming to have ADHD who don’t.

This. Not one person on this thread has claimed ADHD isn't real. The question is why/how people who have a demonstrated history with high achievement that can only be accomplished via sustained executive function are suddenly getting ADHD diagnoses.

And it is sudden. Even 10 years ago, this wasn't a thing. Now I know a dozen people diagnosed with ADHD in their 30s and 40s, all with impressive resumes and graduate level educations. Of course people are going to ask questions about that trend. It doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

My question is this. Why does it matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this are why I won’t tell people I have ADHD. Congrats on your shaming ignorance. You all suck.

If you don't tell people you have ADHD, you are very different than the group OP is talking about, who will make ADHD their whole personality and bring it up frequently in conversation even when nobody asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because most girls are undiagnosed, do we go through life coping and struggling until they finally get a diagnosis. It’s a relief to know that there we weren’t crazy— there was a problem
all along and here are the ways to fix it.

OP is talking specifically about high achievers though. If there was "a problem all along" why didn't it result in, for instance, bad grades? Or difficulty making friends? How does someone with ADHD get into a competitive college, get a Masters degree, gain admission to a top ranked law school, clerk with a federal judge, and then work at a highly competitive Big Law firm, all while sustaining strong, longterm friendships and having an active social life and hobbies? It makes no sense. Yes, masking is a thing. But if you can mask that well.... I don't think you have ADHD, sorry. Usually people with ADHD have actual problems and difficulties with school or social settings.

I don’t know anyone with ADHD that has this life that you are describing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My question is this. Why does it matter?

Why does it matter if people are being incorrectly diagnosed for a disorder and prescribed stimulant medication which, oh by the way, is tightly controlled and often in short supply? Why does it matter that a group of high functioning adults are suddenly using ADHD as an excuse for thing like "being rude" or "not wanting to do things no one wants to do"? Why does it matter that people who don't have ADHD are trying to make themselves the poster children for a real disorder that can be debilitating for the kids and adults who actually have it and have struggled with it their entire lives?

Hmmm, I can think of reasons it matters.