Hating donut hole life: athletic recruiting version

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think athletes who are going to be D1 athletes probably already kinda know that in 9th grade. It’s a tough decision, to scale back in the sports. But you have to be rationale about it. My kids have been happier after scaling back and/or leaving their sports to find other activities. There are so many things to try out in high school.

This. My kids dropped club spots and just played varsity beginning in 10th grade because it was clear that they were not going to be D1 athletes. We had seen too many kids commit to third tier D3 liberal arts schools with merit aid in order to play in college and not have to pay $95K as an athlete at Bowdoin or Carleton or similar.

I see this so often and it's baffling to me. This was the end goal? Your kid playing a sport and some crap college? And these are kids who could get in somewhere better.

Again, for families who feel they are in the donut hole, most top colleges aren't on the list--they aren't affordable. My DS1 wanted to go to a SLAC, not a big state school. He had the credentials to be competitive for admission to NESCAC schools, but we didn't have the money to send him there. So lower-ranked SLACs that offer merit aid were the only ones available to him. He wasn't an athlete, but this would have been the same choice available if he had been. I can imagine a Maryland high school athlete thinking, "well I can go to UMD (if I get in) or I can go to 'Crap College' and play lacrosse" and deciding that continuing to play lacrosse sounds good. And the education at these colleges you deem "crap" can be quite good. My DS1's experience as a non-athlete at a lower-ranked SLAC was great. Should he have gone to UMD? Why?

Again, most kids--regardless of athletics--are not deciding between, say, Williams and Wooster. They are deciding between Big State School and Wooster.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP.

Advice I luckily received from another parent was to discuss what money we had available to pay for college and to stay within those ranges. Although we visited schools like Cornell, we bypassed many due to the costs. Many of the top ten in my child's class, including my child, attended the state school.

Unfortunately, we had a very strange amount of money saved. None of it was quite enough to fund some of the desired schools unless they gave merit. And then we had to deal with whether the merit was guaranteed or dependent upon grades. I didn't want a possible mental issue or adhd to cause bad grades and then have my child lose their scholarship, too.

In the end, they have excellent grades at a top state school that provides support to adhd students. They love the place and they are thriving.

I hope you find the ideal fit for your student!

[Anonymous]

You are rich. You choose not to save what you wanted for the school you want. I tell mine the budget and they stay within it and work summers to contribute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I hate not being rich right now. DC has athletic recruiting offers to some top SLAC schools, but they don't do athletic or merit scholarships. I ran the NPCs and we get zero financial aid at all of them, but they're just too expensive for us to pay full price.

Now DC has to either 1) go to lower ranked schools offering athletic/merit scholarships or 2) forego athletic recruitment and just apply EA to state schools or shot gun in regular decision in hopes of merit.

Tonight I have to tell DC that they can't go to either of the SLAC's that they really want and have offers to. And we're not prepared with essays because we spent oodles of time on recruiting on top of an intensive year round sports schedule.

I hope this serves as a cautionary tale for donut hole parents of younger athletic recruits. Don't waste your time on recruiting unless you can either pay full price, your kid is good enough to get a hefty scholarship at one of the few good schools that offers athletic scholarships *and wants to go to these larger schools*, or you qualify for significant FA.

Have him contact Grinnell. Merit aid and, if it’s the same as last year, 20k merit if you apply ED.

I should add that Grinnell, unlike many NESCACs, actually has room for walk ons, so kid can play no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP.

Advice I luckily received from another parent was to discuss what money we had available to pay for college and to stay within those ranges. Although we visited schools like Cornell, we bypassed many due to the costs. Many of the top ten in my child's class, including my child, attended the state school.

Unfortunately, we had a very strange amount of money saved. None of it was quite enough to fund some of the desired schools unless they gave merit. And then we had to deal with whether the merit was guaranteed or dependent upon grades. I didn't want a possible mental issue or adhd to cause bad grades and then have my child lose their scholarship, too.

In the end, they have excellent grades at a top state school that provides support to adhd students. They love the place and they are thriving.

I hope you find the ideal fit for your student!

Then you use current income to make up the difference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think athletes who are going to be D1 athletes probably already kinda know that in 9th grade. It’s a tough decision, to scale back in the sports. But you have to be rationale about it. My kids have been happier after scaling back and/or leaving their sports to find other activities. There are so many things to try out in high school.

This. My kids dropped club spots and just played varsity beginning in 10th grade because it was clear that they were not going to be D1 athletes. We had seen too many kids commit to third tier D3 liberal arts schools with merit aid in order to play in college and not have to pay $95K as an athlete at Bowdoin or Carleton or similar.

I see this so often and it's baffling to me. This was the end goal? Your kid playing a sport and some crap college? And these are kids who could get in somewhere better.

Not everyone’s end goal is attending the most selective school they can possibly get into. For some people, that lesser known college may be the better fit. Affordability and friendships more easily forged at a non-pressure cooker school are just a couple that come to mind. Especially when wanting to save money for DC’s grad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is at an Ivy playing her sport. She got zero financial aid. She's now a sophomore and has been a really hard road. She doesn't get much playing time and doesn't get along with her teammates very much. The students at the school are a little weird because they are so so smart and she still working on making friends. The grass is not always greener. In hindsight, I would have encouraged her skip to D1 and just go in-state as a regular applicant.

this is the problem when Ivies and other top schools relax the academic standards too much for athletes. Then if the kid doesn’t continue with the sport then they also don’t really fit in/match the level of the rest of the kids who got in on academic merit. This was my experience at one of the Ivies.

[Anonymous]

many private D3 schools are just a waste if you aren't getting any money. D3 LACs are basically luxury goods. you don't need to go there, but it feels like an upscale summer camp or boarding school when you do! public schools are bigger and more fun and they get you to the same destination without meeting as many insufferable sheltered teens.

play well enough to get college paid for in D1 or else give up the sport and focus on academics and other parts of your life you've been missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:many private D3 schools are just a waste if you aren't getting any money. D3 LACs are basically luxury goods. you don't need to go there, but it feels like an upscale summer camp or boarding school when you do! public schools are bigger and more fun and they get you to the same destination without meeting as many insufferable sheltered teens.

play well enough to get college paid for in D1 or else give up the sport and focus on academics and other parts of your life you've been missing.

By going to these schools you are surrounded by those from similar backgrounds (they are not insufferable sheltered teens - I could call you low class, ignorant and judgmental). Who will be your lifelong friends, help you get jobs, etc. I wouldn't go deeply into debt for this but on the margin there is a benefit. Though many kids also don't want that and that is cool too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:many private D3 schools are just a waste if you aren't getting any money. D3 LACs are basically luxury goods. you don't need to go there, but it feels like an upscale summer camp or boarding school when you do! public schools are bigger and more fun and they get you to the same destination without meeting as many insufferable sheltered teens.

play well enough to get college paid for in D1 or else give up the sport and focus on academics and other parts of your life you've been missing.

By going to these schools you are surrounded by those from similar backgrounds (they are not insufferable sheltered teens - I could call you low class, ignorant and judgmental). Who will be your lifelong friends, help you get jobs, etc. I wouldn't go deeply into debt for this but on the margin there is a benefit. Though many kids also don't want that and that is cool too.

Yikes. What a horrid response!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really hard to feel sorry for people when the athletic hook doesn’t work for them.

It’s not hard if you’re not an ahole because you know how much work the kid put into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really hard to feel sorry for people when the athletic hook doesn’t work for them.

It’s not hard if you’re not an ahole because you know how much work the kid put into it.

That’s on the parent (who does have the money to pay, but doesn’t want to because it would be a sacrifice). I do feel bad for the kid.

[Anonymous]

Colleges shouldn’t be giving athletes special treatment and easy admissions.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for the replies.

To clarify, we did set financial expectations when DC first started looking at colleges. We ran the NPC and didn't qualify for aid. Told DC we couldn't afford it. Several D3 coaches told DC don't worry about it because they hear that all the time from students who end up getting aid and the NPC isn't necessarily accurate. Well, it turns out that the NPC is very accurate.

DC did get athletic scholarship offers from D1 schools, but DC wanted an SLAC.

DC has good grades, which honestly seems to complicate things even more. If DC had lower grades, then some of these other D1 schools with a very generous athletic scholarship but lower admission standards would have made more sense.

We're talking offers from the top NESCACS, which would be a great fit both academically and athletically. Technically we could pay for it, but it would tank our retirement if we did that for both kids. Hence the donut hole dilemma.

This recruiting process is a lot of work (not even counting the athletic training!) and isn't transparent. It sounds like my story is helping at least a couple posters think more clearly about their own kid's situation. I feel like a really sh*tty parent right now and my kid is hurting. If sharing saves a few other families from this, then that's a good thing.

I hope everyone's kid finds a good fit that works for their family's budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Colleges shouldn’t be giving athletes special treatment and easy admissions.

Yes x 1000!