Everyone around me loves Halloween and Fall; I now find it depressing and I don’t know what changed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love fall but I despise Halloween.

Man, we should start a club.

I feel like the 10% of people who LOVE Halloween make it miserable for everyone else. It is so much forced fun, if you have young kids. Pretty much every other holiday, I feel like it's possible to pick and choose what works for your family. Because Halloween gets shoehorned into a weekday most of the time, and happens in your neighborhood and involves this reciprocal arrangement with trick or treating, it feels much harder to opt out. I do it for the kids but loathe it.

Hopefully in a few years, my kids will either want to go out with their friends on their own, or just stay home and give out candy to little kids, and then I can check out on it.

You loathe the one single day of ToT for your kids?

As you point out, it's easy enough to opt out of most esle.

+1. People here seem very high strung about Trick or Treating. Your kid picks a costume, you buy a costume, you follow them around for a few hours OR you send your spouse out to follow them around. I can't imagine what drama is going on to make people loathe it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike the period from late October to New Years. There are just too many social and familial expectations and the days keep getting shorter. I always feel relieved when we finally get to January.

+1

And I hate hearing Chrismas music for two months straight everywhere and seeing commercials ordering me to spend money and on top of that be happy happy happy.

+2

Stop trying to make me be cheerful when it's dark outside at 4:30PM!

I respect your feelings but humans have been scheduling holidays involving lights, social gatherings, music, and celebration around the winter solstice basically since the beginning of time specifically because it's dark and miserable and cold and there is an instinct to counteract that. I personally do not like Christmas music so I don't need that, but all the other holiday stuff is fine with me even though I'm not religious because December would be so freaking depressing without all the holiday lights and office parties and days off work. I think it's necessary, frankly.

NP. Winter doesn't even start until the end of December. There is NOTHING in January, February or March to look forward to. It's dark because of the time change and just miserable. There aren't holiday lights and the only holidays we get are MLK and Presidents Day.

What days off work do you get in December? There's only Christmas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love fall but I despise Halloween.

Man, we should start a club.

I feel like the 10% of people who LOVE Halloween make it miserable for everyone else. It is so much forced fun, if you have young kids. Pretty much every other holiday, I feel like it's possible to pick and choose what works for your family. Because Halloween gets shoehorned into a weekday most of the time, and happens in your neighborhood and involves this reciprocal arrangement with trick or treating, it feels much harder to opt out. I do it for the kids but loathe it.

Hopefully in a few years, my kids will either want to go out with their friends on their own, or just stay home and give out candy to little kids, and then I can check out on it.

You loathe the one single day of ToT for your kids?

As you point out, it's easy enough to opt out of most esle.

+1. People here seem very high strung about Trick or Treating. Your kid picks a costume, you buy a costume, you follow them around for a few hours OR you send your spouse out to follow them around. I can't imagine what drama is going on to make people loathe it.

Part of it is that our schools consider Halloween and November 1 to be holidays, which is just another struggle for daycare camps. These used to be fun days at school.

[Anonymous]

I do love fall (because of the cooler weather and colorful leaves). But I get it, OP, in terms of enjoying things less than you used to. I have found that certain things/events I used to love now just feel like going through the motions. But my kids still enjoy them, so we do it anyway, and I try to focus on their enjoyment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dislike the period from late October to New Years. There are just too many social and familial expectations and the days keep getting shorter. I always feel relieved when we finally get to January.

+1

And I hate hearing Chrismas music for two months straight everywhere and seeing commercials ordering me to spend money and on top of that be happy happy happy.

+2

Stop trying to make me be cheerful when it's dark outside at 4:30PM!

I respect your feelings but humans have been scheduling holidays involving lights, social gatherings, music, and celebration around the winter solstice basically since the beginning of time specifically because it's dark and miserable and cold and there is an instinct to counteract that. I personally do not like Christmas music so I don't need that, but all the other holiday stuff is fine with me even though I'm not religious because December would be so freaking depressing without all the holiday lights and office parties and days off work. I think it's necessary, frankly.

NP. Winter doesn't even start until the end of December. There is NOTHING in January, February or March to look forward to. It's dark because of the time change and just miserable. There aren't holiday lights and the only holidays we get are MLK and Presidents Day.

What days off work do you get in December? There's only Christmas?

It's not winter, it's winter solstice, which happens late December. People complain about it being dark. Culturally people have been addressing this by having light and celebration-filled holidays in December since forever. Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali, Yule, etc.

Thanksgiving and New Years also fit into this tradition -- holidays focused on spending time with others and special foods that happen to occur close to winter solstice.

By January/February, days are already getting longer, even if it's cold. Though I agree daylight savings is a mistake. I think it would be easier if she just accepted the seasonal change in sunrise/sunset and adjusted lifestyle during that part of the year accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love fall but I despise Halloween.

Man, we should start a club.

I feel like the 10% of people who LOVE Halloween make it miserable for everyone else. It is so much forced fun, if you have young kids. Pretty much every other holiday, I feel like it's possible to pick and choose what works for your family. Because Halloween gets shoehorned into a weekday most of the time, and happens in your neighborhood and involves this reciprocal arrangement with trick or treating, it feels much harder to opt out. I do it for the kids but loathe it.

Hopefully in a few years, my kids will either want to go out with their friends on their own, or just stay home and give out candy to little kids, and then I can check out on it.

You loathe the one single day of ToT for your kids?

As you point out, it's easy enough to opt out of most esle.

+1. People here seem very high strung about Trick or Treating. Your kid picks a costume, you buy a costume, you follow them around for a few hours OR you send your spouse out to follow them around. I can't imagine what drama is going on to make people loathe it.

It's the people who don't feel like that's enough. The ones organizing a school costume parade, insisting on orchestrating ToT for the entire neighborhood, asking you why you didn't dress up (it's because I hate fun, Joanne), or trying to pressure you into drinking the "Boo-garitas" they made even though it's 7pm on a Tuesday and you still have to get your amped up kids to bed and then have to be up at 5am tomorrow to make up for having left work at 2pm so you could be at the costume parade at 3pm.

If Halloween looked the way you describe it, I'd have no issue with it. I find the Halloween obsessives more obnoxious and forceful than the people who love Christmas, who mostly seem content to just love Christmas in their own way without forcing me to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love fall but I despise Halloween.

Man, we should start a club.

I feel like the 10% of people who LOVE Halloween make it miserable for everyone else. It is so much forced fun, if you have young kids. Pretty much every other holiday, I feel like it's possible to pick and choose what works for your family. Because Halloween gets shoehorned into a weekday most of the time, and happens in your neighborhood and involves this reciprocal arrangement with trick or treating, it feels much harder to opt out. I do it for the kids but loathe it.

Hopefully in a few years, my kids will either want to go out with their friends on their own, or just stay home and give out candy to little kids, and then I can check out on it.

You loathe the one single day of ToT for your kids?

As you point out, it's easy enough to opt out of most esle.

+1. People here seem very high strung about Trick or Treating. Your kid picks a costume, you buy a costume, you follow them around for a few hours OR you send your spouse out to follow them around. I can't imagine what drama is going on to make people loathe it.

It's the people who don't feel like that's enough. The ones organizing a school costume parade, insisting on orchestrating ToT for the entire neighborhood, asking you why you didn't dress up (it's because I hate fun, Joanne), or trying to pressure you into drinking the "Boo-garitas" they made even though it's 7pm on a Tuesday and you still have to get your amped up kids to bed and then have to be up at 5am tomorrow to make up for having left work at 2pm so you could be at the costume parade at 3pm.

If Halloween looked the way you describe it, I'd have no issue with it. I find the Halloween obsessives more obnoxious and forceful than the people who love Christmas, who mostly seem content to just love Christmas in their own way without forcing me to do anything.

My Halloween does look the way I describe it. Yours could too, but you're convinced that your neighbors can force you to do things. That's a very weird way to go through life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love fall but I despise Halloween.

Man, we should start a club.

I feel like the 10% of people who LOVE Halloween make it miserable for everyone else. It is so much forced fun, if you have young kids. Pretty much every other holiday, I feel like it's possible to pick and choose what works for your family. Because Halloween gets shoehorned into a weekday most of the time, and happens in your neighborhood and involves this reciprocal arrangement with trick or treating, it feels much harder to opt out. I do it for the kids but loathe it.

Hopefully in a few years, my kids will either want to go out with their friends on their own, or just stay home and give out candy to little kids, and then I can check out on it.

You loathe the one single day of ToT for your kids?

As you point out, it's easy enough to opt out of most esle.

+1. People here seem very high strung about Trick or Treating. Your kid picks a costume, you buy a costume, you follow them around for a few hours OR you send your spouse out to follow them around. I can't imagine what drama is going on to make people loathe it.

It's the people who don't feel like that's enough. The ones organizing a school costume parade, insisting on orchestrating ToT for the entire neighborhood, asking you why you didn't dress up (it's because I hate fun, Joanne), or trying to pressure you into drinking the "Boo-garitas" they made even though it's 7pm on a Tuesday and you still have to get your amped up kids to bed and then have to be up at 5am tomorrow to make up for having left work at 2pm so you could be at the costume parade at 3pm.

If Halloween looked the way you describe it, I'd have no issue with it. I find the Halloween obsessives more obnoxious and forceful than the people who love Christmas, who mostly seem content to just love Christmas in their own way without forcing me to do anything.

My Halloween does look the way I describe it. Yours could too, but you're convinced that your neighbors can force you to do things. That's a very weird way to go through life.

Because of the kids, your neighbors can force some of this on you. There is no reason for a costume parade at the school and in fact this is a huge waste of time and the kids and teachers would rather be doing an end of day party or something. Who wants to line up and walk in a circle? But the parents who force activities like this create an expectation that you will be there with your camera, and if you aren't, your kid will feel left out. So you go.

The neighborhood scolds can also screw up a normal Halloween. If a critical number of people in the neighborhood insist on gathering at one person's house for spiked cider and yard games before ToT, then you can't really start ToT until they are done because no one is home. Also if parents of your kids' friends plan some elaborate ToT outing (like the hayride mentioned earlier in this thread) then not participating means your kid can't ToT with their friends and will feel left out, so you might get roped into this just to avoid making your kid feel like the odd one out.

If your neighborhood doesn't do stuff like this, count your blessings. You live among mature, reasonable people. Some of us don't, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

It's one day a year. I enjoy socializing and recognize it's a phase where in a few years I won't be such a big part of my kids' Halloween.

I agree with another PP that many cultures and religions have holidays in this "getting darker" period of the year and they resonate with many as something to look forward to.

Obviously anyone can have a Grinch attitude and feel very superior. It's like the "too cool for school" kids from being younger.

[Anonymous]

Repeating this: get a light box. Get it from Amazon
You can return within 30 days if you don't notice an improvement
https://www.amazon.com/Northern-Light-Technology-Travelite-Portable/dp/B002YSMEBY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love fall but I despise Halloween.

Man, we should start a club.

I feel like the 10% of people who LOVE Halloween make it miserable for everyone else. It is so much forced fun, if you have young kids. Pretty much every other holiday, I feel like it's possible to pick and choose what works for your family. Because Halloween gets shoehorned into a weekday most of the time, and happens in your neighborhood and involves this reciprocal arrangement with trick or treating, it feels much harder to opt out. I do it for the kids but loathe it.

Hopefully in a few years, my kids will either want to go out with their friends on their own, or just stay home and give out candy to little kids, and then I can check out on it.

You loathe the one single day of ToT for your kids?

As you point out, it's easy enough to opt out of most esle.

+1. People here seem very high strung about Trick or Treating. Your kid picks a costume, you buy a costume, you follow them around for a few hours OR you send your spouse out to follow them around. I can't imagine what drama is going on to make people loathe it.

Start with everyone leaves work early which creates massive traffic jams early on Halloween every single year.

Teenagers stealing candy - kids emptying bowls of candy left out because you’re out with your kids.

Kids ringing doorbells when the home has the light off

The expectation that every home should decorate

There’s work in the morning and school typically

Are your kids taking candy to lunch?

Are you doing dentist buyback programs?

The list goes on…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love fall but I despise Halloween.

Man, we should start a club.

I feel like the 10% of people who LOVE Halloween make it miserable for everyone else. It is so much forced fun, if you have young kids. Pretty much every other holiday, I feel like it's possible to pick and choose what works for your family. Because Halloween gets shoehorned into a weekday most of the time, and happens in your neighborhood and involves this reciprocal arrangement with trick or treating, it feels much harder to opt out. I do it for the kids but loathe it.

Hopefully in a few years, my kids will either want to go out with their friends on their own, or just stay home and give out candy to little kids, and then I can check out on it.

You loathe the one single day of ToT for your kids?

As you point out, it's easy enough to opt out of most esle.

+1. People here seem very high strung about Trick or Treating. Your kid picks a costume, you buy a costume, you follow them around for a few hours OR you send your spouse out to follow them around. I can't imagine what drama is going on to make people loathe it.

Start with everyone leaves work early which creates massive traffic jams early on Halloween every single year.

Teenagers stealing candy - kids emptying bowls of candy left out because you’re out with your kids.

Kids ringing doorbells when the home has the light off

The expectation that every home should decorate

There’s work in the morning and school typically

Are your kids taking candy to lunch?

Are you doing dentist buyback programs?

The list goes on…

WTF is a dentist buyback program? Your kids get candy, you set some kind of reasonable rules about eating it. They eat it under those rules. There's no reason to think about this more than that.

[Anonymous]

Adding the Halloween costume rules at school for the aforementioned parades — no weapons, no masks, or the themed ones where the kids dress as an adjective (my dd had to do this at her dcps elementary) etc..

[Anonymous]

You are making it more complicated than it is.

Its a low effort holiday. Like 4th of July. And it is all outdoors.

[Anonymous]

There’s the DCUM annual what time is trick or treating thread