Why are people in the DC area so weird about name popularity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get these comments that are like "oh they thought they were being so unique by naming their kid Milo but he's one of three in class." First of all, Milo is ranked #120 -- if there are three of them in one class, it's a freak accident unlikely to be repeated in that child's life. And second, since name popularity is published online and widely reported on, I doubt anyone is using a popular name without knowing it's popular. Parents giving their kids more popular names know they are more popular and are okay with it, and thus by definition cannot think they are being "so unique." If anything, they are bucking the apparent trend of obsessing over giving your name a totally original, rare name and just saying "screw it, we just really like this name and it's okay if our special snowflake sometimes shares a name with a classmate or coworker."

Milo is ranked #120 in the nation, but do you think it is ranked #120 in Little Rock? In Arlington, VA? In Arlington, TX? Names differ in popularity by region, and that is why we had 2 girls named Xanthe, 2 girls named Sage, and 2 boys named Gray in my kid’s 1st grade year in ny (45 kids total). Not a single Jacob.

... and? Who cares? Why does the popularity of the name matter? All of the names you just mentioned are not very popular overall, too, so even if the kid winds up in a little bubble where there are a couple in school with them, in the rest of their life they will have a fairly uncommon name.

So why does it matter? Why fixate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC people try too hard with everything they do.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it has anything to do with geography.

I know some people who prefer classic names, trendy names, uncommon names, and everything in between. It doesn’t seem to vary by social class/socioeconomic status that much either.

A lot of times parents who grew up either with super common names (or very uncommon names) didn’t love it, and go in the opposite direction. My DH is this way. He grew up with a very unusual first name and insisted on more common names for our own kids. His own name has grown on him over the years, but he gets tired of having to repeat himself, spell it out, etc. That said, he is almost 50yrs old and times have changed.

You dont think there's an aspect of DC culture marked by being snowflakey, competitive, fear of being basic?

Yes, but everyone from the Jennifer’s in the Midwest to the Utah Mormon moms wants a “unique” name and are afraid of being basic.

It just results in names like Paisleigh in Utah, Juniper in California and Milo in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fallout from the Jessica / Jennifer / Justin generation

YES. I have one of these names and it was important to me my kid not have a top 20 name. I hated it when I was a kid and I still hate it. Call my name in a crowd of parents and 5 moms will turn around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never encountered people more weird about this issue than in the DC area. I've met three parents in the last year of living here who have confessed to me that they stress that their kids names are "too popular." None of these kids have top 10 names, their kids are the only kids I've ever met with their names, and they are nice names. I've also heard women in our neighborhood say some not nice things about names they deem too popular, or certain "name trends" they seem to be disparaging. One mom I know told a group of us that she poured over lists of names outside the top 1000 names to choose her kids names, and studied naming trends to ensure that her kids' names would not be too popular or likely to become trendy. When she said this (at a backyard bbq), other women in the conversation nodded and said things like "oh, that's so smart" and no one else seemed to be thinking what I was thinking, which was "do you have ocd by any chance?"

What the heck? I can understand not wanting to give your baby one of the most popular names (though I also think there are good reasons why people choose these names -- they are popular for good reasons, generally) but people here seem obsessed with giving their kids unpopular names and ensuring that they will never encounter another person with the same name. Can anyone explain why this is? I moved here from a large West Coast city and there's definitely some of that but people are not as self-conscious or vocal about it and it's countered by people wanting to give their kids names that are recognizably names and wanting a name that will fit in. The people out West who obsess over original names are a specific type of person (what we used to call hipsters, I know don't know how they are identified now) and are considered a little fringe. Like that guy at work who needs you to know he knows more obscure bands than you do -- it's a kind of annoying personality quirk, not a universal value. But here it seems mainstream.

What am I missing? ?Why are people here like this

You encountered three parents and now you assume EVERYONE is like this. I don't know a single person who thinks this way! And I have been living here over 30 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A completely different area of the country so I'm not really outing her, but my friend has twins named Pyper and Brystol. I judge, but silently, because I always wanted to name a daughter Dale Junette, like Dale, Junior, after my dad. Thankfully, I did not do that.

Haven't noticed a lot of angst about names in Virginia.

Pyper is awful, Brystol is worse. Thankfully you did not name anyone Dale Junette or I think you might have been judged less silently.

And I would have deserved every single eye roll and judgy comment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get these comments that are like "oh they thought they were being so unique by naming their kid Milo but he's one of three in class." First of all, Milo is ranked #120 -- if there are three of them in one class, it's a freak accident unlikely to be repeated in that child's life. And second, since name popularity is published online and widely reported on, I doubt anyone is using a popular name without knowing it's popular. Parents giving their kids more popular names know they are more popular and are okay with it, and thus by definition cannot think they are being "so unique." If anything, they are bucking the apparent trend of obsessing over giving your name a totally original, rare name and just saying "screw it, we just really like this name and it's okay if our special snowflake sometimes shares a name with a classmate or coworker."

Milo is ranked #120 in the nation, but do you think it is ranked #120 in Little Rock? In Arlington, VA? In Arlington, TX? Names differ in popularity by region, and that is why we had 2 girls named Xanthe, 2 girls named Sage, and 2 boys named Gray in my kid’s 1st grade year in ny (45 kids total). Not a single Jacob.

... and? Who cares? Why does the popularity of the name matter? All of the names you just mentioned are not very popular overall, too, so even if the kid winds up in a little bubble where there are a couple in school with them, in the rest of their life they will have a fairly uncommon name.

So why does it matter? Why fixate?

?? I’m not fixated on anything. I’m just explaining why there are often 3 kids named Milo or whatever in a class even though the name is rare nationally. It’s just less rare in some areas and more rare in others. Relax. Your Milo is still one of a kind!

[Anonymous]

I have an uncommon name and I always liked it. Didn’t have to specify who I was in school. People still knew who I was after I got married and changed my name. My kids have unique names that are family names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that a lot of people think that trendy names are a negative class indicator, and that might be where this is coming from.

I think it's that and I think a lot of millennial parents were used to being one of like 50 Jessica /Jennifer/Ashley/Sarah. I had a top baby name so that factored into how I chose my children's names

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fallout from the Jessica / Jennifer / Justin generation

YES. I have one of these names and it was important to me my kid not have a top 20 name. I hated it when I was a kid and I still hate it. Call my name in a crowd of parents and 5 moms will turn around.

As numerous people have explained, a top 20 name today is much less common than any top 20 name from a generation ago. I also have one of those super popular names from the 80s. There were a half dozen girls in my high school with the same name, and it's very common in pretty much any community I'm in.

But it would be hard if not impossible to give a kid a name like that today. Even if you gave them a #1 name, it would probably never be as ever present as the top names from when I was a kid. Not only is no name as popular as the top names from back then, but it also seems like names cycle in and out of popularity with more regularity now. I am constantly meeting kids who have names I've never heard of before. People are inventing names, borrowing from other cultures, revitalizing old names, at a pace and to a degree they never did before. There's just more variety across the board and that is really preventing dominance of any particular names.

At the same time, picking a lower ranked name often gives the perception of less popularity but it's actually part of a name trend that could easily lead to the same name confusion you experience, just with similar sounding names. Like Selena, Sabrina, and Serena are all different names and none of them are that popular. But together they would be a top 100 name blob. Or like the name Eleanora is ranked quite low, but it nicknames to Ellie (super common, shared with some very top names) or Nora (ranked #22 itself). There are actually lots of names like Eleanora ranked very low, often outside the top 1000 altogether, but they sound so similar to more popular names that it doesn't really matter. There are like seven versions of the name Lily, for instance -- Lily, Lilly, Lillian, Lilliana, Lillia, etc. An alternative spelling of Elizabeth (Elisabeth) is ranked pretty low, and a similar sounding but totally different name (Elspeth) isn't even in the top 1000, yet women with those names will all be mistaken for one another (and may all wind up with the same or similar nicknames). And so on. There are also unpopular girls names that sound really similar (or are the same) as very popular boys names. Will being a female Noa really feel so original when Noah is such a popular boys name?

People are always hunting for "fresh" sounding names, something unique and different, but in doing so, you can't help but reach for things that are familiar, whether it's the rhythm or the sound or beginning or ending of the name, and any of those can and often are trendy. This idea that you will pluck some truly original name out of the air that will never be confused with other names is probably a fools errand, and might result in a name that is simply unappealing to the ear. These naming trends exist for a reason -- we tend to like certain sounds or have good associations with the same combinations of sounds. Thus, name trends.

You have to just let it go. Think of sharing names with other people as a potential connection, instead of a source of friction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fallout from the Jessica / Jennifer / Justin generation

I misguided one. Compare the popularity of Jennifer at its height to that of the current #1 girls name, Olivia: https://www.behindthename.com/name/olivia/top/united-states?compare=jennifer&type=percent

Or here's another one -- the super popular in the 70s name Jason compared to the current #1 boys name, Liam: https://www.behindthename.com/name/jason/top/united-states?compare=liam&type=percent

There's just way more diversity in naming now, there are no Jennifers, Jessicas, Justins, or Jasons (what the heck was up with J names in the 70s, actually?). You can use even a very popular name today your kid is very unlikely to share that name with lots of other kids at school, and even less likely to share it with lots of people in their workplace or community as adults.

Also I'm a DC resident and this area has so much ethnic diversity with lots of immigrant or foreign families, resulting in incredibly broad diversity even if people give their kids "common" names from their home country or culture. More than half of my child's classmates have names from a non-Western European naming tradition, including many names I learned for the first time when I met them. I think this is probably true in most large coastal cities in the US, as well as many global capitals.

This seems like a weird thing to worry about.

I work in a highly diverse elementary school so it's kind of interesting to watch the concurrent naming trends for UMC suburbanites vs the naming trends for different immigrant communities..

And fun fact, in Ethiopian culture the child's last name is their father's first name I've always thought that was pretty interesting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get these comments that are like "oh they thought they were being so unique by naming their kid Milo but he's one of three in class." First of all, Milo is ranked #120 -- if there are three of them in one class, it's a freak accident unlikely to be repeated in that child's life. And second, since name popularity is published online and widely reported on, I doubt anyone is using a popular name without knowing it's popular. Parents giving their kids more popular names know they are more popular and are okay with it, and thus by definition cannot think they are being "so unique." If anything, they are bucking the apparent trend of obsessing over giving your name a totally original, rare name and just saying "screw it, we just really like this name and it's okay if our special snowflake sometimes shares a name with a classmate or coworker."

Milo is ranked #120 in the nation, but do you think it is ranked #120 in Little Rock? In Arlington, VA? In Arlington, TX? Names differ in popularity by region, and that is why we had 2 girls named Xanthe, 2 girls named Sage, and 2 boys named Gray in my kid’s 1st grade year in ny (45 kids total). Not a single Jacob.

... and? Who cares? Why does the popularity of the name matter? All of the names you just mentioned are not very popular overall, too, so even if the kid winds up in a little bubble where there are a couple in school with them, in the rest of their life they will have a fairly uncommon name.

So why does it matter? Why fixate?

?? I’m not fixated on anything. I’m just explaining why there are often 3 kids named Milo or whatever in a class even though the name is rare nationally. It’s just less rare in some areas and more rare in others. Relax. Your Milo is still one of a kind!

But what does that have to do with the topic at hand? Also your anecdote makes no sense because even if there were two kids named Xanthe in your child's class, I guarantee that name is still not "popular" where you live. That's just a random freak occurrence that could happen with any name, and there's probably no way to avoid it even if you pour over name popularity lists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get these comments that are like "oh they thought they were being so unique by naming their kid Milo but he's one of three in class." First of all, Milo is ranked #120 -- if there are three of them in one class, it's a freak accident unlikely to be repeated in that child's life. And second, since name popularity is published online and widely reported on, I doubt anyone is using a popular name without knowing it's popular. Parents giving their kids more popular names know they are more popular and are okay with it, and thus by definition cannot think they are being "so unique." If anything, they are bucking the apparent trend of obsessing over giving your name a totally original, rare name and just saying "screw it, we just really like this name and it's okay if our special snowflake sometimes shares a name with a classmate or coworker."

Milo is ranked #120 in the nation, but do you think it is ranked #120 in Little Rock? In Arlington, VA? In Arlington, TX? Names differ in popularity by region, and that is why we had 2 girls named Xanthe, 2 girls named Sage, and 2 boys named Gray in my kid’s 1st grade year in ny (45 kids total). Not a single Jacob.

... and? Who cares? Why does the popularity of the name matter? All of the names you just mentioned are not very popular overall, too, so even if the kid winds up in a little bubble where there are a couple in school with them, in the rest of their life they will have a fairly uncommon name.

So why does it matter? Why fixate?

Answered in the first comment posted-status. Giving your kid a trending name is often judged as low class. DC is a pretty status obsessed place and no parent here want to use Milo and in three years see it has become the next Brayden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get these comments that are like "oh they thought they were being so unique by naming their kid Milo but he's one of three in class." First of all, Milo is ranked #120 -- if there are three of them in one class, it's a freak accident unlikely to be repeated in that child's life. And second, since name popularity is published online and widely reported on, I doubt anyone is using a popular name without knowing it's popular. Parents giving their kids more popular names know they are more popular and are okay with it, and thus by definition cannot think they are being "so unique." If anything, they are bucking the apparent trend of obsessing over giving your name a totally original, rare name and just saying "screw it, we just really like this name and it's okay if our special snowflake sometimes shares a name with a classmate or coworker."

Milo is ranked #120 in the nation, but do you think it is ranked #120 in Little Rock? In Arlington, VA? In Arlington, TX? Names differ in popularity by region, and that is why we had 2 girls named Xanthe, 2 girls named Sage, and 2 boys named Gray in my kid’s 1st grade year in ny (45 kids total). Not a single Jacob.

... and? Who cares? Why does the popularity of the name matter? All of the names you just mentioned are not very popular overall, too, so even if the kid winds up in a little bubble where there are a couple in school with them, in the rest of their life they will have a fairly uncommon name.

So why does it matter? Why fixate?

Answered in the first comment posted-status. Giving your kid a trending name is often judged as low class. DC is a pretty status obsessed place and no parent here want to use Milo and in three years see it has become the next Brayden.

Brayden may be considered a "low class" name but it's not particularly popular. It's ranked #190, not far on the list from names like Finn, Oscar, Nico, and Max, all names used by people I know who valued a name that wasn't "too popular."

The popularity of a name is not what makes it low or high class. If anything, an obsession with choosing an "original" name is precisely what leads to those Utah manglings like Brayden/Jayden/Kayden or Kinsleigh/Paisley/Brynleigh. Those are efforts to be unique. It would have been been classier to just name their kids William and Sofia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get these comments that are like "oh they thought they were being so unique by naming their kid Milo but he's one of three in class." First of all, Milo is ranked #120 -- if there are three of them in one class, it's a freak accident unlikely to be repeated in that child's life. And second, since name popularity is published online and widely reported on, I doubt anyone is using a popular name without knowing it's popular. Parents giving their kids more popular names know they are more popular and are okay with it, and thus by definition cannot think they are being "so unique." If anything, they are bucking the apparent trend of obsessing over giving your name a totally original, rare name and just saying "screw it, we just really like this name and it's okay if our special snowflake sometimes shares a name with a classmate or coworker."

Milo is ranked #120 in the nation, but do you think it is ranked #120 in Little Rock? In Arlington, VA? In Arlington, TX? Names differ in popularity by region, and that is why we had 2 girls named Xanthe, 2 girls named Sage, and 2 boys named Gray in my kid’s 1st grade year in ny (45 kids total). Not a single Jacob.

... and? Who cares? Why does the popularity of the name matter? All of the names you just mentioned are not very popular overall, too, so even if the kid winds up in a little bubble where there are a couple in school with them, in the rest of their life they will have a fairly uncommon name.

So why does it matter? Why fixate?

Answered in the first comment posted-status. Giving your kid a trending name is often judged as low class. DC is a pretty status obsessed place and no parent here want to use Milo and in three years see it has become the next Brayden.

Brayden may be considered a "low class" name but it's not particularly popular. It's ranked #190, not far on the list from names like Finn, Oscar, Nico, and Max, all names used by people I know who valued a name that wasn't "too popular."

The popularity of a name is not what makes it low or high class. If anything, an obsession with choosing an "original" name is precisely what leads to those Utah manglings like Brayden/Jayden/Kayden or Kinsleigh/Paisley/Brynleigh. Those are efforts to be unique. It would have been been classier to just name their kids William and Sofia.

Popularity is similar but not the same as trends. Did you not read what I wrote, or can you not understand the difference?

A name Brayden is not as popular as James, but it is absolutely more trendy. Any name chart curve can show this information. It’s not popularity that makes a name low class (to some people) it’s trendiness.