How much for wedding gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus Christ. I would never give anything close to $500 for a wedding gift unless it was my immediate family. I truly cannot believe that is the expectation anywhere.

We got married in our 30s and explicitly stated no gifts and did not do a registry. We received a pile of lovely cards and were very happy. Nearly everyone were invited came, probably in part because they were relieved they weren’t expected to fork over thousand extra for a gift for two grown adults who own a home and can buy whatever they want for themselves. We recognized that many of our guests were paying $5k+ to fly internationally and get hotels for our wedding. The audacity is expecting your guests to give you another $1000 is just breathtaking.

Wedding gifts and registries started when people got married young and had no money and needed to set up a house. It’s absurd to ask for that level of generosity when you are a grown, self-sufficient adult.

Totally agree. It’s so out of control.

[Anonymous]

In his 1967 book The Seven Deadly Sins in the United States, Fernando Diaz-Plaja quite accurately depicts the characteristics of Americans from the Spanish point of view and the differences between people in both societies in behavioral terms. Among other things he notes that Americans think and express concepts in monetary/financial terms very frequently. He's right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the marrying couple is unemployed and rarely holding down a job. Or already has a child.

Definitely give as much as you can.

Maybe they should have a modest wedding, or get married at City Hall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus Christ. I would never give anything close to $500 for a wedding gift unless it was my immediate family. I truly cannot believe that is the expectation anywhere.

We got married in our 30s and explicitly stated no gifts and did not do a registry. We received a pile of lovely cards and were very happy. Nearly everyone were invited came, probably in part because they were relieved they weren’t expected to fork over thousand extra for a gift for two grown adults who own a home and can buy whatever they want for themselves. We recognized that many of our guests were paying $5k+ to fly internationally and get hotels for our wedding. The audacity is expecting your guests to give you another $1000 is just breathtaking.

Wedding gifts and registries started when people got married young and had no money and needed to set up a house. It’s absurd to ask for that level of generosity when you are a grown, self-sufficient adult.

+1

[Anonymous]

I know people that spend more on a holiday party than most people spend on a wedding.

Pretty sure they don’t expect their guests to “cover their costs” or they would start having empty parties.

I guess the one-time nature of a wedding brings out the greedy side in some people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For just regular weddings where it’s not close family? $200 is fine. You’re currently likely giving the most expensive gift. Especially if you’re talking about weddings where kids are invited — those tend to be more downscale and gifts are going to average much cheaper than childless affairs in manhattan. If it’s a family wedding, the answer changes.

I’m going to assume these venues charge $200-300 per head.

It has been a decade since we got married. We didn’t have families since we were one of the firsts to get married. I guess there hasn’t been much inflation on wedding gifts.

You don't gift based on head price at the venue.

DC born and raised here. Got married in the 90s. Old Washington types did not give cash gifts. My feeling to this day is that you throw the wedding you can afford and you do not rely on your guests to pay for it. I live in NYC now. Average gift from me is $200. More for close family but certainly not $1000....