Italy with 78 year old w/ walking trouble

[Anonymous]

OP, what about Germany? For your timeframe, it's Christmas market time. I'm thinking somewhere like Munich or Berlin where you can get a direct flight, lots of public transportation options, hop-on hop-off buses, and relatively flat.

Although I'm inclined to agree with everyone that taking an elderly woman with mobility issues on her first trip out of the US, let alone to cities you yourself aren't familiar with, sounds like an absolute disaster waiting to happen, and I wouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

I have Venice and Florence suggestions.

We stayed in Venice at the tiny Palazzo Bembo attic hotel. This was just across from a public waterbus dock. It had a small 4 person elevator that went to the lodging floor. We had the queen suite with an additional twin bed that had a view of the St. Mark campanile. This was just down the wharf from the Rialto bridge. There was a small grocery store suitable for residents and tourists 5 minutes down the canal in the other direction.

As I recall, there were some stairs from the entrance door to go up to get to the elevator. Maybe one broad flight of marble steps. I also would check that the hotel's breakfast room is serviced by the elevator. But overall, my 80-year-plus mother would have been able to use this hotel as a base and use waterbus transfers to go many places (around to St. Marco, to museums, to Murano, etc.).

In Florence, we stayed in Hotel Torre Guelfa, which is a Rick Steves tour hotel. Taxis can reach that hotel and it has an elevator. It is in the historic city center (part of it is a fortified tower). It is 15 minutes normal walk from the town square in one direction and the historic bridge in the other. It's do-able.

Now my caution. I took my 80 year plus mother to Paris and we just planned to let her walk at her own pace while we slowed down. While I was texting my husband at a Paris metro stop, she stepped off a bad curb that she had noticed before. This time she was drinking from a bottle of water and not paying attention. She fell down and bruised her arm and broke her purse strap. Men started trying to help her up. In the middle of using my rusty French, trying to debate my mother's condition, trying to consider whether to go by ambulance to an ER in an unknown location, etc. one of the helpers walked away with my cell phone. A clear crime of opportunity. Confuse, distract, pocket. My mom refused to go to the ER but her bruising was horrible and when she went back to the U.S. she found she had a fracture.

My worst case scenario of injured elderly mom happened and we got past it. But only because my mom was hell-bent on continuing. I told her in the future she really needed to go on full-support bus trips.

Good luck to you, OP. I think it's possible for you to do this trip, but you and your MIL need to be overprepared with details and to take it slow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh wants me to take his mom on a trip to Italy before the end of the year. I know it's late planning this but I always plan trips last minute and it always works out fine. I've never been to Italy (but I've traveled elsewhere in Europe) and she has never been out of the USA before. My husband has spent tons of time in Italy for work in the mid-2000s and would like to have his mom go to the main touristy sites of Rome, Venice, and maybe another city. She has knee problems and can't walk for long periods of time. He seems to think she can do this but I don't. I think of Rome or any european city and I immediately think "lots of walking!" I also worry about her tripping and falling on the cobblestones. She also doesn't like stairs. This just seems like it would be too much for her. He counters with, "well, how to all these other retirees get around Europe?" (River cruises or they're just in better shape, I say).

And I know y'all will ask - why isn't he going? He doesn't have any PTO left, and I have 3 weeks I need to burn by 12/31 or I lose it. I have one week accounted for, so this trip could be two weeks if needed. I've taken her on trips but it's always been usa road trips to national parks with the overlooks right in the parking lot, ya know?

Thoughts ? Or any other ideas on where I could take her? Like I mentioned, we've done all of the National Park stuff out west. I thought about Iceland as I've been there before and that's an easy road trip place, however, I went in summer. November or December weather there can be a beast.

Still baffled as to why you having more leave than your husband means you should have to use it to shlep his elderly mother around Europe solo.

It's certainly not required that OP do this, but it's so sad to see the posts on here saying she shouldn't because it's her MIL. I love my MIL and consider all of my husband's family to be my family. I wouldn't hesitate to take a trip with my MIL, especially one that could be very special to her, if I had the time and money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh wants me to take his mom on a trip to Italy before the end of the year. I know it's late planning this but I always plan trips last minute and it always works out fine. I've never been to Italy (but I've traveled elsewhere in Europe) and she has never been out of the USA before. My husband has spent tons of time in Italy for work in the mid-2000s and would like to have his mom go to the main touristy sites of Rome, Venice, and maybe another city. She has knee problems and can't walk for long periods of time. He seems to think she can do this but I don't. I think of Rome or any european city and I immediately think "lots of walking!" I also worry about her tripping and falling on the cobblestones. She also doesn't like stairs. This just seems like it would be too much for her. He counters with, "well, how to all these other retirees get around Europe?" (River cruises or they're just in better shape, I say).

And I know y'all will ask - why isn't he going? He doesn't have any PTO left, and I have 3 weeks I need to burn by 12/31 or I lose it. I have one week accounted for, so this trip could be two weeks if needed. I've taken her on trips but it's always been usa road trips to national parks with the overlooks right in the parking lot, ya know?

Thoughts ? Or any other ideas on where I could take her? Like I mentioned, we've done all of the National Park stuff out west. I thought about Iceland as I've been there before and that's an easy road trip place, however, I went in summer. November or December weather there can be a beast.

Still baffled as to why you having more leave than your husband means you should have to use it to shlep his elderly mother around Europe solo.

It's certainly not required that OP do this, but it's so sad to see the posts on here saying she shouldn't because it's her MIL. I love my MIL and consider all of my husband's family to be my family. I wouldn't hesitate to take a trip with my MIL, especially one that could be very special to her, if I had the time and money.

I think the "Italy with 78 year old w/ walking trouble" is that part that people are noping out about. If her DH was pushing for a vacation in the Caribbean at an all inclusive resort, I don't think people would be so pessimistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh wants me to take his mom on a trip to Italy before the end of the year. I know it's late planning this but I always plan trips last minute and it always works out fine. I've never been to Italy (but I've traveled elsewhere in Europe) and she has never been out of the USA before. My husband has spent tons of time in Italy for work in the mid-2000s and would like to have his mom go to the main touristy sites of Rome, Venice, and maybe another city. She has knee problems and can't walk for long periods of time. He seems to think she can do this but I don't. I think of Rome or any european city and I immediately think "lots of walking!" I also worry about her tripping and falling on the cobblestones. She also doesn't like stairs. This just seems like it would be too much for her. He counters with, "well, how to all these other retirees get around Europe?" (River cruises or they're just in better shape, I say).

And I know y'all will ask - why isn't he going? He doesn't have any PTO left, and I have 3 weeks I need to burn by 12/31 or I lose it. I have one week accounted for, so this trip could be two weeks if needed. I've taken her on trips but it's always been usa road trips to national parks with the overlooks right in the parking lot, ya know?

Thoughts ? Or any other ideas on where I could take her? Like I mentioned, we've done all of the National Park stuff out west. I thought about Iceland as I've been there before and that's an easy road trip place, however, I went in summer. November or December weather there can be a beast.

I did this trip with my mother at this age and with some mobility issues. We hired a car to drive around so walking was limited in touristy areas, and then rented a car and stayed at a few places for a few days that were more about relaxing- Tuscany and Lagurnia (beach).

It worked. Italy has so many different options. It’s not all hiking around on cobblestone streets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh wants me to take his mom on a trip to Italy before the end of the year. I know it's late planning this but I always plan trips last minute and it always works out fine. I've never been to Italy (but I've traveled elsewhere in Europe) and she has never been out of the USA before. My husband has spent tons of time in Italy for work in the mid-2000s and would like to have his mom go to the main touristy sites of Rome, Venice, and maybe another city. She has knee problems and can't walk for long periods of time. He seems to think she can do this but I don't. I think of Rome or any european city and I immediately think "lots of walking!" I also worry about her tripping and falling on the cobblestones. She also doesn't like stairs. This just seems like it would be too much for her. He counters with, "well, how to all these other retirees get around Europe?" (River cruises or they're just in better shape, I say).

And I know y'all will ask - why isn't he going? He doesn't have any PTO left, and I have 3 weeks I need to burn by 12/31 or I lose it. I have one week accounted for, so this trip could be two weeks if needed. I've taken her on trips but it's always been usa road trips to national parks with the overlooks right in the parking lot, ya know?

Thoughts ? Or any other ideas on where I could take her? Like I mentioned, we've done all of the National Park stuff out west. I thought about Iceland as I've been there before and that's an easy road trip place, however, I went in summer. November or December weather there can be a beast.

Still baffled as to why you having more leave than your husband means you should have to use it to shlep his elderly mother around Europe solo.

It's certainly not required that OP do this, but it's so sad to see the posts on here saying she shouldn't because it's her MIL. I love my MIL and consider all of my husband's family to be my family. I wouldn't hesitate to take a trip with my MIL, especially one that could be very special to her, if I had the time and money.

It depends on the relationship but it's very typical got men to offload family labor onto their wives. My MIL are relatively close but I know she'd prefer a trip with her kids than with me.

[Anonymous]

I’m amazed that your mother in law would consider a trip at this age and with walking issues. My parents are 72 and 74 with normal aches and pains… but rather high energy and they have no interested in going anywhere except a beach house. Even that is getting challenging… the packing part. And oh my gosh, I am NOT permitted to help them pack. This trip with your MIL seems like a bad idea, but I’m impressed that your husband and MIL would consider it. They sound more relaxed than my family! I traveled through Italy when I was 30 and loved it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m amazed that your mother in law would consider a trip at this age and with walking issues. My parents are 72 and 74 with normal aches and pains… but rather high energy and they have no interested in going anywhere except a beach house. Even that is getting challenging… the packing part. And oh my gosh, I am NOT permitted to help them pack. This trip with your MIL seems like a bad idea, but I’m impressed that your husband and MIL would consider it. They sound more relaxed than my family! I traveled through Italy when I was 30 and loved it.

I don't know that your parents are typical? My parents are in their early 80s, and my mom has serious mobility issues - she has Parkinson's and other issues - but they still go on trips to Europe. They do it on cruises now, is all - and my mom does what she can.

70s seems early for not wanting more active trips anymore, unless they just aren't very active people.

[Anonymous]

Insane

You just have money to burn

Red Cross or people in Ashland would be a better use

[Anonymous]

When we went to Italy, husband wound up having foot surgery a few weeks before, and he was still in a walking boot. We hired a private driver to take us directly to sites, drop us right in front, and pick us up. It worked great, and wasn't too crazy expensive.

[Anonymous]

Yes to river cruise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh wants me to take his mom on a trip to Italy before the end of the year. I know it's late planning this but I always plan trips last minute and it always works out fine. I've never been to Italy (but I've traveled elsewhere in Europe) and she has never been out of the USA before. My husband has spent tons of time in Italy for work in the mid-2000s and would like to have his mom go to the main touristy sites of Rome, Venice, and maybe another city. She has knee problems and can't walk for long periods of time. He seems to think she can do this but I don't. I think of Rome or any european city and I immediately think "lots of walking!" I also worry about her tripping and falling on the cobblestones. She also doesn't like stairs. This just seems like it would be too much for her. He counters with, "well, how to all these other retirees get around Europe?" (River cruises or they're just in better shape, I say).

And I know y'all will ask - why isn't he going? He doesn't have any PTO left, and I have 3 weeks I need to burn by 12/31 or I lose it. I have one week accounted for, so this trip could be two weeks if needed. I've taken her on trips but it's always been usa road trips to national parks with the overlooks right in the parking lot, ya know?

Thoughts ? Or any other ideas on where I could take her? Like I mentioned, we've done all of the National Park stuff out west. I thought about Iceland as I've been there before and that's an easy road trip place, however, I went in summer. November or December weather there can be a beast.

We took both my parents to Italy and they have similar mobility issues. My mother needed a wheelchair. It was a serious undertaking. Luckily, my DH and I are both in agreement about the importance of parents and multi-generational trips so whether they would come or not was never a discussion. We had to adapt and spend more money.

We were 7 so we had to rent an enormous conversion van. It's not for the faint of heart to drive around Rome but DH is from a country with driving chaos so he rather enjoyed it. DH would drive kids and parents to front of museum, exhibit, and then we'd have to find a place to park the van for the day. If you do this, you must be an EARLY riser.

We also bought a light travel wheelchair for my mother and took turns wheeling her around. she has some mobility but not enough to do cobblestone streets and walk miles through densely packed cities. My dad is much stronger and was able to help push, and it served as a dual cane/rest for him. WE took lots of walking stops.

I made reservations for every single thing ahead of time - museums, restaurants, tours, hotels, etc. And when we went to Amalfi, I had to rent a BNB on the top of the hills so that we had ample parking (actually a converted farm, which was great). For Vatican, we did the Vatican Breakfast so as to get the early entry before the crowds. Totally worth it.

We went in November low season, which helped a ton with the cars/crowds.

It may be difficult but it'll definitely be worth it. MIL would be thrilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh wants me to take his mom on a trip to Italy before the end of the year. I know it's late planning this but I always plan trips last minute and it always works out fine. I've never been to Italy (but I've traveled elsewhere in Europe) and she has never been out of the USA before. My husband has spent tons of time in Italy for work in the mid-2000s and would like to have his mom go to the main touristy sites of Rome, Venice, and maybe another city. She has knee problems and can't walk for long periods of time. He seems to think she can do this but I don't. I think of Rome or any european city and I immediately think "lots of walking!" I also worry about her tripping and falling on the cobblestones. She also doesn't like stairs. This just seems like it would be too much for her. He counters with, "well, how to all these other retirees get around Europe?" (River cruises or they're just in better shape, I say).

And I know y'all will ask - why isn't he going? He doesn't have any PTO left, and I have 3 weeks I need to burn by 12/31 or I lose it. I have one week accounted for, so this trip could be two weeks if needed. I've taken her on trips but it's always been usa road trips to national parks with the overlooks right in the parking lot, ya know?

Thoughts ? Or any other ideas on where I could take her? Like I mentioned, we've done all of the National Park stuff out west. I thought about Iceland as I've been there before and that's an easy road trip place, however, I went in summer. November or December weather there can be a beast.

Still baffled as to why you having more leave than your husband means you should have to use it to shlep his elderly mother around Europe solo.

It's certainly not required that OP do this, but it's so sad to see the posts on here saying she shouldn't because it's her MIL. I love my MIL and consider all of my husband's family to be my family. I wouldn't hesitate to take a trip with my MIL, especially one that could be very special to her, if I had the time and money.

+100. These posts where PPs trash or hate their married families are so crazy to me.

[Anonymous]

I'm still having trouble figuring out why your DH is fixated on Italy. Is it a family history thing? A "I did my junior year abroad in Florence 40 years ago and so I'm an expert on Italian tourism" thing?

My parents love-love-love Road Scholar trips because they seem to do a great job of creating interesting itineraries and providing excellent staff support. RS categorizes its tours by how much physical activity/energy/nimbleness is required, and none of their Italy trips are totally low-impact.

But they are offering a trip to Victoria, BC at Christmas that's light on walking and heavy on coach buses. So it checks the calendar box and the "I get to brag that I sent my mom on a foreign vacation" box.

https://www.roadscholar.org/find-an-adventure/18099/Victorian-Christmas-at-the-Grand-Empress

[Anonymous]

It may be raining in Venice. Aren’t Oct and November the worst months for rain? No idea if it’s Aqua Alta this year but Venice is an absolute no go for anyone with even the slightest mobility problems when it floods. Google pictures! Even if you don’t have to wade through water or balance on boards holding up your suitcases, the ground is slick.

You husband sounds like a fool. If he has he heart set on his mom seeing Italy then he should research it and take her.