Best comeback lines if your kid didn't get into a "Top" school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buried in this post is the probably incorrect assumption that everyone asking expects the answer to be a top school AND that they will react negatively and embarrass your child for an honest answer. I cannot imagine a single person in my family acting that way.

If that IS your family, then I'm with your kid. No need to hang out with people who don't actually love you.

This is the post to re-read a few times, OP.

[Anonymous]

The parents of the tippy top kids all know who the tippy top kids are. They’ve been together as a cohort since 6th grade. If a tippy top parent is asking you, they are being pleasant or curious. They know your kid isn’t going to Yale. So, relax.

[Anonymous]

It’s August. There are 0 seniors who have a college decision. You and her need to be direct, but vague to these nosy people. “We should know by May,” and re-direct the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD doesn't want to go to family parties anymore, everyone is asking and focusing where she will be going to college next year. DD is not a stellar student and will most likely be going to an in state college. Her grades aren't high enough with her gpa to get into the state's main university. She doesn't know how to respond to family, people in general. I don't either, for now I say she is undecided and play off she is doing well at school- yes, I know ego.

If this is your child and she didn't get into a top school, what have you said? Lie and say she got a big scholarship to a lesser college?

Are you the student? Can't imagine a parent giving a d@mn what anyone else thinks. Make the most of where ever you end up. If you really are the parent, think you have OTHER issues more pressing than kid's college destination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s August. There are 0 seniors who have a college decision. You and her need to be direct, but vague to these nosy people. “We should know by May,” and re-direct the conversation.

Asking a question about something that you know is happening in someone's life is not automatically nosy. It is kinda how conversation works and how you show an interest in a person.
Casting judgment is obviously wrong. Persistent needling is wrong. But asking how the college app process is going? What they are thinking about for after graduation? Neither nosy nor wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD doesn't want to go to family parties anymore, everyone is asking and focusing where she will be going to college next year. DD is not a stellar student and will most likely be going to an in state college. Her grades aren't high enough with her gpa to get into the state's main university. She doesn't know how to respond to family, people in general. I don't either, for now I say she is undecided and play off she is doing well at school- yes, I know ego.

If this is your child and she didn't get into a top school, what have you said? Lie and say she got a big scholarship to a lesser college?

If you are going to lie, just tell them you're saving money for medical school. So for undergrad, State U is the best option.

It buys you 4 years of no hassle.

[Anonymous]

I think people now are just expecting nasty judgment. People would be happier if they assumed everyone has good intentions. I think most people don’t really care that much what other people do — they are just trying to make conversation and seem interested in someone’s life. So they ask questions like “where do you work?” “What did you do for vacation this summer?” “What are you thinking about for college?” “Do you do any extracurriculars in HS?” “Are you dating anyone?” For most people, they aren’t looking for a reason to judge you, they are just trying to get to know you and to have something to talk about other than the weather. Unless you family is just generally nasty, I’m sure they don’t mean anything by this. And if they are just generally nasty, then don’t hang out with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD doesn't want to go to family parties anymore, everyone is asking and focusing where she will be going to college next year. DD is not a stellar student and will most likely be going to an in state college. Her grades aren't high enough with her gpa to get into the state's main university. She doesn't know how to respond to family, people in general. I don't either, for now I say she is undecided and play off she is doing well at school- yes, I know ego.

If this is your child and she didn't get into a top school, what have you said? Lie and say she got a big scholarship to a lesser college?

Omg you are awful

Your kid is going to college who cares where
Education is a gift
More important for your kid to have a major that can get a job
Who gives a shot about ignorant family

[Anonymous]

Most people ask because they are curious, not because they’re trying to stress you out. It’s not a big deal and no one really cares.

My kid went to a lesser known school so got a lot of “where is that?”. The old people usually say, oh you should apply to Harvard/Parent’s school/State U, because they have no idea how hard admissions is now and they think you are wonderful. But once you tell them where you are headed, everyone will just be excited for you.

[Anonymous]

My daughter goes to Towson. I tell people when they ask, and I bought shirts for our whole family (which we all wear regularly and proudly). No one who I've ever talked to has expressed any judgment, but if they did, I would know they aren't someone I need to be spending time with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a sad post. I hope you don’t pass your insecurities onto your child.

+1

[Anonymous]

I went to a "lesser" state school and attended a private prep school where PLENTY of people went to top schools and expensive privates.

I just told people I was going to University of Vanilla and they said "cool." And we all moved on. I think I had perspective because I'd had four years of not being the best and the top and the richest and the thinnest and I just...lived my life. Now I am pretty successful...and doing ok in those other categories too. Resilience helps with that.

Don't show her your anxiety or trepidation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents of the tippy top kids all know who the tippy top kids are. They’ve been together as a cohort since 6th grade. If a tippy top parent is asking you, they are being pleasant or curious. They know your kid isn’t going to Yale. So, relax.

Except when it turns out that kid actually IS going to Yale - while all the parents of "tippy top kids" (what a truly stupid expression) underestimated that kid over the years. This exact scenario happened at our high school and it was truly delicious to see the jaws drop at the news. Happens more than you would think.
NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people now are just expecting nasty judgment. People would be happier if they assumed everyone has good intentions. I think most people don’t really care that much what other people do — they are just trying to make conversation and seem interested in someone’s life. So they ask questions like “where do you work?” “What did you do for vacation this summer?” “What are you thinking about for college?” “Do you do any extracurriculars in HS?” “Are you dating anyone?” For most people, they aren’t looking for a reason to judge you, they are just trying to get to know you and to have something to talk about other than the weather. Unless you family is just generally nasty, I’m sure they don’t mean anything by this. And if they are just generally nasty, then don’t hang out with them.

+100
This is something I have to remind myself of a lot as I tend to be overly sensitive and read way too much into what is generally just basic small talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD doesn't want to go to family parties anymore, everyone is asking and focusing where she will be going to college next year. DD is not a stellar student and will most likely be going to an in state college. Her grades aren't high enough with her gpa to get into the state's main university. She doesn't know how to respond to family, people in general. I don't either, for now I say she is undecided and play off she is doing well at school- yes, I know ego.

If this is your child and she didn't get into a top school, what have you said? Lie and say she got a big scholarship to a lesser college?

Say she got in where SHE wanted to go. It's not a fib, if she cared enough to apply to a non-top school, she wanted to get in to some degree! Shut these azzhats down if they give her grief