Room mother power

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people are offering to help.

Right?

I run away from the room parents lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has got to depend on the grade. I was room parent in 4th and parents were already checked out at that point. None of us wanted to be room parent in 5th again. I can see how people would be very enthusiastic in K or 1st.

This is how it was at our old public (at least). Through 2nd the competition to volunteer at parties definitely existed. After that? Nothing. It was like pulling teeth to get adequate volunteers. By 6th the teachers just asked us to donate supplies and did the rest themselves because getting volunteers was too much work and people wanted to be the Venmo mom at most.

At our new private it seems to be pretty similar. People will volunteer in the lower grades, but forget it for the older kids.

A lot of people don't like kids except their own. Little kids are cute and funny and maybe more tolerable. 3rd grade and up, you have to be a "kid person" to want to volunteer.

I think people volunteer in the little years because they are:

1) concerned about how their kid is settling in
2) trying to get an understanding of what the school looks like and who all the people are
3) a few may have heard "PTA moms" get special preference (which apparently does happen at other schools; I know plenty of PTA parents whose kids got the bad teachers so I don't think it happened at ours)

After the first couple of years most of these reasons go away and if you're at a school where volunteering doesn't get you much you only do it if you like it or are truly an altruist.

[Anonymous]

Not my experience at all.

[Anonymous]

OP,

You're ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I would believe it. The first year back after Covid, a group of volunteers who had been helping out for years (tasks for teachers— not working with the kids) were outside the school in masks volunteering when we were practically accosted by a couple of moms demanding to know why WE were allowed to volunteer when no one had offered THEM a chance to do so. It was nuts.

[Anonymous]

Our school doesn't do room mothers but I've absolutely seen people turn on a dime like this when someone they previously thought was beneath them is suddenly in a position of authority.

People are lemmings. It's sad actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has got to depend on the grade. I was room parent in 4th and parents were already checked out at that point. None of us wanted to be room parent in 5th again. I can see how people would be very enthusiastic in K or 1st.

This is how it was at our old public (at least). Through 2nd the competition to volunteer at parties definitely existed. After that? Nothing. It was like pulling teeth to get adequate volunteers. By 6th the teachers just asked us to donate supplies and did the rest themselves because getting volunteers was too much work and people wanted to be the Venmo mom at most.

At our new private it seems to be pretty similar. People will volunteer in the lower grades, but forget it for the older kids.

A lot of people don't like kids except their own. Little kids are cute and funny and maybe more tolerable. 3rd grade and up, you have to be a "kid person" to want to volunteer.

I think people volunteer in the little years because they are:

1) concerned about how their kid is settling in
2) trying to get an understanding of what the school looks like and who all the people are
3) a few may have heard "PTA moms" get special preference (which apparently does happen at other schools; I know plenty of PTA parents whose kids got the bad teachers so I don't think it happened at ours)

After the first couple of years most of these reasons go away and if you're at a school where volunteering doesn't get you much you only do it if you like it or are truly an altruist.

I volunteered in PK and K because it was a way to get to know the school and meet other parents. And because I felt an obligation to be involved and help out. Back then I focused on volunteering with the PTA and responding to calls for volunteers. I focused on the adults at the school.

I discovered that the PTA was very clique-y and also found that a lot of what they did was kind of make-work for no reason.

Now I still volunteer but ONLY with the classroom or directly with kids -- I chaperone field trips and started an Odyssey of the mind chapter that I coach. Turns out I vastly prefer working with the kids (yes even the older kids -- I think I like them even better than the little ones) than hanging with the PTA moms. Who I'm still friendly with but not really friends with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird. I never talk to the room parent besides polite conversation if I must. I ignore her emails because they are all for stupid things. I actually wish it wasn’t “a thing” and that there would be fewer dumb parties, less junk food and junk crafts and more class time. And then there’s the multitude of emails about teacher gifts, teacher lounge snacks, teacher appreciation, end of the year gift and on and on…. Ignore. Teachers are professionals doing a job and kids are in class to learn. If parents want to be involved in school and volunteer, they should take up some special ed training or specialized reading training and provide volunteer educational support and tutoring to those kids that are far behind. Not waste time spinning wheels to feel busy throwing dumb parties and collecting money for teacher gifts and snacks

Could not agree more. I think the teacher appreciation stuff is dumb because I don't think that's how you show appreciation. In fact it reminds me of employee appreciation stuff at my own job that is really about trying to get the employees to thank management for being so amazing and buying us bagels or whatever. But I don't want a bagel and compulsory socializing. I want to be able to do my job in peace and be paid fairly. I'm guess teachers want the same.

So I always show teacher appreciation by writing a heartfelt thank you note to them at the end of the year where I say exactly what I'm grateful for. Like thanks for helping my Ker learn to read because holy crap that's magical and will serve them the rest of their lives. Or thanks for incorporating a lot of body breaks into the day because I think it really helped my 2nd grader to learn and focus and I know not everyone thinks about supporting kids in a wholistic way like that. It's more meaningful to me because it forces me to sit down and really appreciate the teachers and I think it's more meaningful to them because it's not just "yay teachers" it's like "thank you specific teacher for the specific ways you went above and beyond for m. specific kid -- I see you and appreciate you."

That's what I would appreciate if I were in their position. Not having 25 kids bring me a small potted plant on the same day because wtf am I going to do with all those potted plants now.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a jerk. Making fun of parents who are volunteering their time, energy and money to make sure that the kids have a good school year. It's a thankless job. Pick the vollenteers for the jobs they want to do and grow up. I agree with the pp who said they are just being polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like volunteering at school and other parents have never been anything but polite and helpful. I tend to think a lot of stuff on dcum is just in people’s heads. Like I bet someone just texted her like “thanks for being the room parent! I’d love to do thanksgiving because I like making pie but I will slot in anywhere” and she’s freaking out about it.

+1