Hostess Gift Ideas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM people are crazy. You do not need to bring a gift. You should not bring a gift. You'll be the odd one out and the weirdo if you do.

You are the weirdo. Where were you raised? You always take a small gift no matter what. There are lots of small beautiful things you can stock up at Home Goods and TJ’s.

OMG, no. It's 2024 -- people do not need the kind of "beautiful things" you can "stock up at Home Goods and TJ's." Stop it -- we don't need to add to the landfills. People don't need any more stuff.

So many people on this thread are still clinging to "etiquette" that has been out of date for decades. No one needs or wants a "hostess gift." The fact that the gendered term "hostess" is on display in that phrase should clue you in that this might not be something people need to do anymore. I can buy $2 lemon verbena soap at TJ Maxx myself if I want it. Which I don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not rich so I don’t dine in these fancy circles. When we have other families over they ask “what can I bring?” And I’ll say “dessert would be amazing!” Or “something to drink. ” or “just yourselves!” And it really is okay if they come empty handed. We are all so busy I hate burdening others with the stress of having to pick up a token gift before they come to my house for dinner.

I can’t imagine how a big dinner party would go with all the guests parading in with gifts…where do they go? Who takes care of them? If you entertain a lot, what do you do with 5 jars of peach balsamic or 7 packs of seasonal napkins?

I get that it’s considered etiquette, and I’ve brought wine to many an event where I know it’s a fancier event, so I’m not completely boorish. But do you all feel that at some point we can change the etiquette to adjust to our generation? With many families with two working parents and kids in multiple activities, there isn’t as much time as there used to be to worry about these things. Again, I’m not in the fancy circles so I don’t mean to offend, just thinking about things.

The etiquette has changed. Only people who qualify for Medicare are showing up to dinner parties with "seasonal napkins" or fancy soaps or balsamic vinegar or any other such nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people just bring a bottle of wine.

May be in past but now with all the scientific proof about how bad alcohol is, lot of people don't drink or appreciate such gift. Someone may have an addiction, health/prefrence/religious restriction or trying to quit.

+1

Do not show up at someone's home with alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Really, don't bring anything except your enthusiasm for the event. The only other good option is some very small bouquet of flowers cut fresh from your garden and arranged in an old jelly jar or something.

Do write and send a thank you note the next day.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been bringing small potted herbs with a tag that includes a simple recipe using that herb. It feels personal but still easy. Curious if anyone has tried gifting experiences, like a local bakery gift card tucked into a nice card?

[Anonymous]

I always bring a bottle of olive oil in a wine bag. I love going back to someone's home and seeing it on their counter. Also they can easily regift it.

[Anonymous]

I’m also not from fancy circles, so like the pp, they may bring wine or some brownies, nothing more than that, and it’s 100% okay to show up empty handed. I can’t imagine all the work that must go into these necessary host gifts. Each guest must find and purchase said gift—is it wrapped and comes with a card? After the party the host then has to figure out where everything goes—do they throw things out that they don’t want? Most of these gifts you are all suggesting seem lovely, but if someone hosts a lot, just how many soaps will they have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m also not from fancy circles, so like the pp, they may bring wine or some brownies, nothing more than that, and it’s 100% okay to show up empty handed. I can’t imagine all the work that must go into these necessary host gifts. Each guest must find and purchase said gift—is it wrapped and comes with a card? After the party the host then has to figure out where everything goes—do they throw things out that they don’t want? Most of these gifts you are all suggesting seem lovely, but if someone hosts a lot, just how many soaps will they have?

A lot. Also a lot of napkins. But then I used both when I host again, so problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Gift cards for both with hand written notes.

[Anonymous]

I love a nice candle. I recently was given one from Anthropologie that I absolutely love. I probably wouldn't splurge on one for myself but it's lovely.

[Anonymous]

It's the goodie bag for adults discussion. It's a requirement. No one wants it. It's always wine. Wine will kill you! Flowers are work for the hostess. Who doesn't love getting flowers. I am allergic.

I want nothing. I will not remember who did what or not. I am not a stuff person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In this case, I would send a handwritten note after the party. You could also send something thoughtful as a thank you after the party if you happen to learn something about them during the party or get into a conversation about something.

This is the way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gift cards for both with hand written notes.

No gift cards. That's unbelievably tacky.