Swearing at Kids

[Anonymous]

Grew up UMC. Have a few letters behind my name. I swear like a sailor. Now, I don’t call my kids swear words but I sure as hell swear in front of them. And they know the time and place for those words. I’ve never been notified of my children using inappropriate words at school or with friends.

[Anonymous]

Swearing is a sign of honesty

[Anonymous]

Y'all are soft. Some dumbasses need to be told they're acting like dumbasses. How else do you stop the dumbassery?

[Anonymous]

Swearing around children is vulgar and common. Adults of average or above intelligence should have the vocabulary to articulate specific behavioral issues without resorting to name-calling.

[Anonymous]

My father swore a ton, around us and AT us. And he swore at my mother.
And he abused us physically and verbally.

So it feels all part of a very abusive upbringing to me.

My kids have heard us curse. We tried not to do it at all when they were young, and are a little more relaxed now that they're in middle school. But I still really control myself around them. (They have no idea that I can - and do - curse like a sailor sometimes in ways that are highly therapeutic!)

We may have said something like "What the hell do you think you're doing" once or twice, when we are really losing it. We have never called them names.

I think there's a range that allows for perfectly good parenting and some occasional swearing. My kids hear WAAAAY worse stuff every day at school than they're ever going to hear at home.

[Anonymous]

My parents didn't swear at all. I try not to swear in front of my kids, but I've never sworn at them. My parents have college educations.

[Anonymous]

No, we don’t swear at our kids! Now, we have teens and I’m definitely letting a few f-bombs inside my head at times, but not out loud.

My parents did not swear. My mom would spell out shit on very rare occasions. DH’s parents swore at their kids and in turn, his brothers swear at and in front of their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apologies if this has come up before.

My wife grew up in a household where her parents were mild mannered and good natured. Her only recollection of her dad ever swearing was once calling her brother an a**hole after he crashed a car as a teenager and almost hurt a bunch of people. Her parents both went to college and had white collar jobs. I grew up in a household where swearing was relatively common. My parents swore around us kids, and sometimes at us kids. My parents didn't go to college and had blue collar jobs. My friends were all the same way.

I swear around our kids. One of our boys is a teenager and is going through a snarky/disrespectful phase. He's missing a bunch of assignments in school, so I've had to mentor him to help him manage his work and time better to avoid another D. The other day he was being totally uncooperative, and refused to do anything. I lost my cool and swore at him, calling him an a**hole for the first time ever. My wife heard the exchange and has become traumatized by it.

I know I slipped and apologized to both my son and my wife. But my wife insists that the way she was raised is normal and that parents simply don't swear at their kids. So I'd love to ask everyone: how many parents swear at their kids?

My mom (dad died) swore at me and my sister. We were white collar growing up (she was/is a successful lawyer). We both don't have a good relationship with her. My sister really does not like her and is still in therapy (late 30s) over our mom's yelling and swearing at us.

I think you should go to therapy and figure out better ways to handle your emotions. Go for a walk, go in your room and swear in your pillow. Swearing at your kid will not make them do their work and not get a D. Maybe hire them a tutor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apologies if this has come up before.

My wife grew up in a household where her parents were mild mannered and good natured. Her only recollection of her dad ever swearing was once calling her brother an a**hole after he crashed a car as a teenager and almost hurt a bunch of people. Her parents both went to college and had white collar jobs. I grew up in a household where swearing was relatively common. My parents swore around us kids, and sometimes at us kids. My parents didn't go to college and had blue collar jobs. My friends were all the same way.

I swear around our kids. One of our boys is a teenager and is going through a snarky/disrespectful phase. He's missing a bunch of assignments in school, so I've had to mentor him to help him manage his work and time better to avoid another D. The other day he was being totally uncooperative, and refused to do anything. I lost my cool and swore at him, calling him an a**hole for the first time ever. My wife heard the exchange and has become traumatized by it.

I know I slipped and apologized to both my son and my wife. But my wife insists that the way she was raised is normal and that parents simply don't swear at their kids. So I'd love to ask everyone: how many parents swear at their kids?

My mom (dad died) swore at me and my sister. We were white collar growing up (she was/is a successful lawyer). We both don't have a good relationship with her. My sister really does not like her and is still in therapy (late 30s) over our mom's yelling and swearing at us.

I think you should go to therapy and figure out better ways to handle your emotions. Go for a walk, go in your room and swear in your pillow. Swearing at your kid will not make them do their work and not get a D. Maybe hire them a tutor?

I think therapy is clearly not the solution so many people on this board think it is. In your sister’s case I’m guessing it’s doing more harm than good at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Swearing is a sign of honesty

It also has been associated with higher intelligence and increased pain tolerance.

I don't trust people who never swear at all or get uptight about use of colorful language at any time.

to the OP: you slipped up and you know it. But your clear remorse and apologies means your wife should calm down. If this was a one time thing during the teen years, I think she owes you some grace. We all have bad moments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apologies if this has come up before.

My wife grew up in a household where her parents were mild mannered and good natured. Her only recollection of her dad ever swearing was once calling her brother an a**hole after he crashed a car as a teenager and almost hurt a bunch of people. Her parents both went to college and had white collar jobs. I grew up in a household where swearing was relatively common. My parents swore around us kids, and sometimes at us kids. My parents didn't go to college and had blue collar jobs. My friends were all the same way.

I swear around our kids. One of our boys is a teenager and is going through a snarky/disrespectful phase. He's missing a bunch of assignments in school, so I've had to mentor him to help him manage his work and time better to avoid another D. The other day he was being totally uncooperative, and refused to do anything. I lost my cool and swore at him, calling him an a**hole for the first time ever. My wife heard the exchange and has become traumatized by it.

I know I slipped and apologized to both my son and my wife. But my wife insists that the way she was raised is normal and that parents simply don't swear at their kids. So I'd love to ask everyone: how many parents swear at their kids?

My mom (dad died) swore at me and my sister. We were white collar growing up (she was/is a successful lawyer). We both don't have a good relationship with her. My sister really does not like her and is still in therapy (late 30s) over our mom's yelling and swearing at us.

I think you should go to therapy and figure out better ways to handle your emotions. Go for a walk, go in your room and swear in your pillow. Swearing at your kid will not make them do their work and not get a D. Maybe hire them a tutor?

You and a lot of the PPs need to stop and breathe and think. A one-time slip like the OP is describing is not akin at all to your stories of long-term abuse. To equate the OP with your abusive relatives is not appropriate. This is not about you and you are making it about you.