It wasn’t just Covid - it just exposed everything. We live in a very individualistic society that is fueled by late stage capitalism. The trick is to finding people and communities who reject individualism and embrace community ( not in words, but in action). I would also suggest stop putting effort with those who don’t reciprocate - it’s wasted energy. The people I have found who are the least selfish are those who are interested in global issues and realizing everything is connected. I have a large community of those people but it’s been through community activism and organizing. |
This is how I can tell you’re a woman. It’s quite simple. Nobody cares. Get over yourself and stop being a little btch. |
That is so sweet. Thank you. I wish you knew who I was too... |
Wow, you’re a real jerk. |
There's a lot of that on this thread. Maybe all the same poster but seems like more than one. It's pitiful, that someone would spend their Saturday afternoon anonymously attacking a lonely person online. |
I agree with this, to an extent. The Great Depression changed my grandparents permanently. It seems reasonable that the pandemic and shutdowns would change some people permanently - but there are several people on this site who strenuously argue otherwise. |
But it’s not wrong. American women are the most spoiled brats on earth. They go through life living on easy mode compared to the rest of the world. |
I've seen similar responses in other threads. I think it's either a SN individual or a bored teenager. |
Just adding a thought OP. Consider your intentions. If your aunt and uncle were to meet you by coming back a day early, were you expecting them to host you at their home? Provide the meals and entertainment for your family including your children?
As adults you have to consider what your intentions are and how those are interpreted by others. It becomes more of a chore for elderly people to entertain and feed than it was when they were younger. You seem to be hyperfocused on them perhaps 20 + years ago and not taking into account who they are today. What were you expecting from them? What are you expecting others to do for you? Then, consider what you are doing for them. |
I have a very small circle of people who really care about me OP and it does make me sad especially as one of them unexpectedly passed away a few years ago. My parents are deceased so it is now DH, my kids, a sister, a niece and a nephew, and 1 close friend who is like a sibling to me. I am not close with aunts, uncles or cousins that I didn’t grow up around and only saw on the occasional holiday. I have lots of friends and acquaintances that fulfill other needs in my life but they are not the ones that are super close. |
You do know them. You’ve just met in this thread. Drop an email address so that you can further this friendship and get together. |
This is because most "communities" are just large cliques with social hierarchies, and the vast majority of people in the community are meant to provide support for the people at the top of the hierarchy, but then deal with their own problems without support. Of course everyone wants the "spots" at the top of the hierarchy-- otherwise you are being exploited. In actual, no scare quote community (rare but does exist through certain religious communities, immigrant communities, etc.) there is a moral imperative to help even the least popular and well liked members. It's more common in religious groups because of the sense of morality being imposed. Of course people are upset when they think (and have been told) they are part of a community, and then realize those people only care about them insofar as they are giving support and never if they are asking to receive it. It's an inherently bad system that takes advantage of people. |
I am on the other side of this. I reach out to friends and family and did throughout COVID. You would be surprised at how many people didn't respond or slowly stopped responding. I used to bring treats to so many people at Christmas or on their birthdays, but I have mostly stopped because it seems so many people want to be left alone. I have some really good friends who I will be there for during times of need, but I have lost touch with many too. |