If you are new money

[Anonymous]

DH and I had no money until we were in our 40s. I wouldn't say we are flashy now, and we don't talk about our money, but I am honest when asked and I do talk openly about mistakes we made and traps people fall into. Like others have said I wish people talked more about money (women especially). Once my friend group started sharing our salaries it was so eye opening for many of us! It can be empowering if you are secure enough.

[Anonymous]

We are transparent with select people. First and foremost, my daughter is well aware of our net worth. We believe it is important for her to develop health money management skills. We have shown her how we manage money, handle bookkeeping, etc. Second, my siblings are aware as they are executors of our estate. It is important for them to have a sense of our holdings. Work colleagues have a sense of my income. It is not hard. We often joke about the amount of taxes we have to pay in a given year and equate it to the type of a car we could have purchased.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are transparent with select people. First and foremost, my daughter is well aware of our net worth. We believe it is important for her to develop health money management skills. We have shown her how we manage money, handle bookkeeping, etc. Second, my siblings are aware as they are executors of our estate. It is important for them to have a sense of our holdings. Work colleagues have a sense of my income. It is not hard. We often joke about the amount of taxes we have to pay in a given year and equate it to the type of a car we could have purchased.

That is a lot of transparency! I’m a little impressed and a little panicky thinking about it. 😄 How old is your daughter?

I blanch at the thought of sharing that much because I fear my kids would resent us for not buying them X when we have Y, even if we explain our values/why we need to save enormous sums for later, etc.

I don’t know how much my siblings have, although my guess is around what we have, but in case I’m substantially off, I don’t want to cause any resentment. They are also the executors on our estates.

Work people…that could be awkward if one person says Lexus and the other says McLaren. Yeah…I’m too chicken to be that transparent. Good for you, though!!

[Anonymous]

Do people still talk in terms of "new money" and "old money"? I thought that sorta aged out alongside rules like not wearing white before Memorial Day.

What cutoff are we using?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are transparent with select people. First and foremost, my daughter is well aware of our net worth. We believe it is important for her to develop health money management skills. We have shown her how we manage money, handle bookkeeping, etc. Second, my siblings are aware as they are executors of our estate. It is important for them to have a sense of our holdings. Work colleagues have a sense of my income. It is not hard. We often joke about the amount of taxes we have to pay in a given year and equate it to the type of a car we could have purchased.

That is a lot of transparency! I’m a little impressed and a little panicky thinking about it. 😄 How old is your daughter?

I blanch at the thought of sharing that much because I fear my kids would resent us for not buying them X when we have Y, even if we explain our values/why we need to save enormous sums for later, etc.

I don’t know how much my siblings have, although my guess is around what we have, but in case I’m substantially off, I don’t want to cause any resentment. They are also the executors on our estates.

Work people…that could be awkward if one person says Lexus and the other says McLaren. Yeah…I’m too chicken to be that transparent. Good for you, though!!

DP- we also have started having detailed discussion with our older kid, who is 16. Same reasons as PP. Smart kid, and we have been clear about not trumpeting to everyone she knows what we make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people still talk in terms of "new money" and "old money"? I thought that sorta aged out alongside rules like not wearing white before Memorial Day.

What cutoff are we using?

I think we can leave generations out... let's go with this:
You are new money if the money you have today - doesn't matter how much it is - is generated from your earnings/work/salary/revenue.
You are old money if - money from an inheritance or trust is doing a lot of the work/all of the work for you.
I realize this may mean only one generation of wealth for the kids of a CEO for example, but usually it takes 2 or 3 generations of wealth and the 3rd generation was raised with money and their attitudes towards it are different than those who come into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are transparent with select people. First and foremost, my daughter is well aware of our net worth. We believe it is important for her to develop health money management skills. We have shown her how we manage money, handle bookkeeping, etc. Second, my siblings are aware as they are executors of our estate. It is important for them to have a sense of our holdings. Work colleagues have a sense of my income. It is not hard. We often joke about the amount of taxes we have to pay in a given year and equate it to the type of a car we could have purchased.

How old is your daughter?

I don't joke about taxes I have to pay with colleagues. Might as well share your paystubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are transparent with select people. First and foremost, my daughter is well aware of our net worth. We believe it is important for her to develop health money management skills. We have shown her how we manage money, handle bookkeeping, etc. Second, my siblings are aware as they are executors of our estate. It is important for them to have a sense of our holdings. Work colleagues have a sense of my income. It is not hard. We often joke about the amount of taxes we have to pay in a given year and equate it to the type of a car we could have purchased.

That is a lot of transparency! I’m a little impressed and a little panicky thinking about it. 😄 How old is your daughter?

I blanch at the thought of sharing that much because I fear my kids would resent us for not buying them X when we have Y, even if we explain our values/why we need to save enormous sums for later, etc.

I don’t know how much my siblings have, although my guess is around what we have, but in case I’m substantially off, I don’t want to cause any resentment. They are also the executors on our estates.

Work people…that could be awkward if one person says Lexus and the other says McLaren. Yeah…I’m too chicken to be that transparent. Good for you, though!!

Our daughter was a sophomore when we started sharing information. We opened up a bank account in her name and she also received a debit card. My wife taught her the basics of bookkeeping. We also shared what is in her 529 at that time. After being a an executor of my father's estate and having no visibility, it was very challenging to close out his estate. As a result, I wanted my executors/ trustees to have a certain level of visibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are transparent with select people. First and foremost, my daughter is well aware of our net worth. We believe it is important for her to develop health money management skills. We have shown her how we manage money, handle bookkeeping, etc. Second, my siblings are aware as they are executors of our estate. It is important for them to have a sense of our holdings. Work colleagues have a sense of my income. It is not hard. We often joke about the amount of taxes we have to pay in a given year and equate it to the type of a car we could have purchased.

How old is your daughter?

I don't joke about taxes I have to pay with colleagues. Might as well share your paystubs.

Maybe you should. So you can find out if you're getting paid market value.

[Anonymous]

For what it’s worth, I wore a white pressed shirt on Wednesday. It was a beautiful day out. Nobody cared.

[Anonymous]

I currently earn five figures and rent a crappy apartment I can't move out of. When my father dies, I will inherit $2-3 million. I figure I will move (condo? TiC?) to a two bedroom place and get my hair dyed a little more often than the three times a year I generally go now, but otherwise nothing will change. I'll still take Uber Pool, look at clothing at Target, shop at Whole Foods only on Tuesdays (sale day), bring my own bags to grocery stores, keep my job and volunteer gig. And I'll talk more about my father than the money he passed down to me and my brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

What's wrong with talking about your money or money in general?
Aren't you talking about money in this forum? Aren't other people talking about money on this forum?
One of the reasons I come to this forum is that I can talk about money with people that talk about money.

Why would you think it's wrong if money talks happen in real life conversations like it is happening here?
Do you think people have to hide behind anonymous identities to talk about money?
I don't get it.

There is nothing wrong with talking about money. I talk about it openly with friends and family like we do here on this forum.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if we are new money? We are two working high income professionals with a much higher income than either of us grew up with. If that counts, I'll answer...

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Not outside of immediate family.

Show your money? Buy flashy things?
I don't think so, but what is flashy? We took a nice vacation last summer and will again this year. We don't buy luxury cars but I drive an Acura - is that considered flashy? We also drive our cars for a long time. We live in a nice house that we had custom built. We are going to be able to send our kids to colleges of their choice full pay. We hire tutors, college consultants, cleaning ladies, lawn care, etc.

Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Really just immediate family.

Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments? Spouse, and kids if they ask and to educate them on finances.

My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are transparent with select people. First and foremost, my daughter is well aware of our net worth. We believe it is important for her to develop health money management skills. We have shown her how we manage money, handle bookkeeping, etc. Second, my siblings are aware as they are executors of our estate. It is important for them to have a sense of our holdings. Work colleagues have a sense of my income. It is not hard. We often joke about the amount of taxes we have to pay in a given year and equate it to the type of a car we could have purchased.

How old is your daughter?

I don't joke about taxes I have to pay with colleagues. Might as well share your paystubs.

Salaries of states and federal employees are public information. Same for your elected officials, CEOs, non-profit org execs, and many more. I don't think this has ever caused a problem. Making salaries public info shouldn't be a problem at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

This. Have never had a family member or friend ask how much we make. So rude.

I have no problems telling friends and family members how much I make. Being transparent is always thousand times better than being secretive. Also, my salary information is public. Even if I wanted to hide it, anyone can find it.