If you are new money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New money is an outdated phase and doesn’t mean anything.

Everyone except you in this thread seems to understand the term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

This. Have never had a family member or friend ask how much we make. So rude.

My SIL does this and regularly asks DH for loans (almost always to repair her car). She does it to guilt him into giving her money whenever she asks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It a white American "cultural thing" and despite being here over 40 years, I obviously don't get it. If someone poses a $$ question, I will usually provide the facts, other than what our net worth. I will not lie about it. I'm a physician, living in a nice home with nice cars, etc. Most people can guess why my income range, what my home is worth, cars, and what our vacations cost. However, they can't "guesstimate" family net worth so I don't share that but yes, if they ask what we paid for something, vacation/home improvement costs, household costs, etc I don't mind sharing the info. What's the harm with being forthcoming?

I tend to agree it's a white American thing. I don't see what the big deal is (are you embarrassed/guilty about how much money you have?). In my community of origin, people talk more openly about money. I think it helps people in the community network and find lucrative career paths. That is how they get information on what they need to do to get ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also have been shocked at the nosiness of some people - such as my SIL (DH's brother's wife) who asked how much our new roof cost (why??? They live across the country from us) and I said "I don't even know, so you don't need to know."

The same relative once said to me in a somewhat excited voice that she heard we stood to inherit X amount of money when my mother died. I was totally shocked. It meant that my DH must have speculated to his brother about my mother's net worth (two homes and some land). But this was years before she actually passed, and no one had any idea what her care costs would be, if there would be anything left of her estate. I had never speculated to my own husband about my potential inheritance, because I had never even speculated to myself. So to hear this from his brother's wife was very creepy. I guess she is just someone with no boundaries and an obsession with money. I absolutely would never discuss any money thing with her.

But if someone else asks me what I got for the sale of X, or what we paid for our used car, I tell them. I think sometimes people are just trying to get a sense of how bad inflation is or not... they are not being nosy.

Would it be possible your SIL was just trying to get a sense of what things cost, such as you roof? You contradict yourself - your SIL likely just trying to determine/compare roofing costs, and we know labor differs by market but not materials. Not sure why people are so secretive about sharing how much they paid for their damn roof!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

Since this is about siblings…

My siblings talk money but we are not competitive with each other.

Btw you are not old money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have been shocked at the nosiness of some people - such as my SIL (DH's brother's wife) who asked how much our new roof cost (why??? They live across the country from us) and I said "I don't even know, so you don't need to know."

The same relative once said to me in a somewhat excited voice that she heard we stood to inherit X amount of money when my mother died. I was totally shocked. It meant that my DH must have speculated to his brother about my mother's net worth (two homes and some land). But this was years before she actually passed, and no one had any idea what her care costs would be, if there would be anything left of her estate. I had never speculated to my own husband about my potential inheritance, because I had never even speculated to myself. So to hear this from his brother's wife was very creepy. I guess she is just someone with no boundaries and an obsession with money. I absolutely would never discuss any money thing with her.

But if someone else asks me what I got for the sale of X, or what we paid for our used car, I tell them. I think sometimes people are just trying to get a sense of how bad inflation is or not... they are not being nosy.

Would it be possible your SIL was just trying to get a sense of what things cost, such as you roof? You contradict yourself - your SIL likely just trying to determine/compare roofing costs, and we know labor differs by market but not materials. Not sure why people are so secretive about sharing how much they paid for their damn roof!

Why do you care so much about what your siblings or their partners make/spend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It a white American "cultural thing" and despite being here over 40 years, I obviously don't get it. If someone poses a $$ question, I will usually provide the facts, other than what our net worth. I will not lie about it. I'm a physician, living in a nice home with nice cars, etc. Most people can guess why my income range, what my home is worth, cars, and what our vacations cost. However, they can't "guesstimate" family net worth so I don't share that but yes, if they ask what we paid for something, vacation/home improvement costs, household costs, etc I don't mind sharing the info. What's the harm with being forthcoming?

I tend to agree it's a white American thing. I don't see what the big deal is (are you embarrassed/guilty about how much money you have?). In my community of origin, people talk more openly about money. I think it helps people in the community network and find lucrative career paths. That is how they get information on what they need to do to get ahead.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have been shocked at the nosiness of some people - such as my SIL (DH's brother's wife) who asked how much our new roof cost (why??? They live across the country from us) and I said "I don't even know, so you don't need to know."

The same relative once said to me in a somewhat excited voice that she heard we stood to inherit X amount of money when my mother died. I was totally shocked. It meant that my DH must have speculated to his brother about my mother's net worth (two homes and some land). But this was years before she actually passed, and no one had any idea what her care costs would be, if there would be anything left of her estate. I had never speculated to my own husband about my potential inheritance, because I had never even speculated to myself. So to hear this from his brother's wife was very creepy. I guess she is just someone with no boundaries and an obsession with money. I absolutely would never discuss any money thing with her.

But if someone else asks me what I got for the sale of X, or what we paid for our used car, I tell them. I think sometimes people are just trying to get a sense of how bad inflation is or not... they are not being nosy.

Would it be possible your SIL was just trying to get a sense of what things cost, such as you roof? You contradict yourself - your SIL likely just trying to determine/compare roofing costs, and we know labor differs by market but not materials. Not sure why people are so secretive about sharing how much they paid for their damn roof!

Why do you care so much about what your siblings or their partners make/spend?

Maybe your sibling is concerned about whether you got fleeced on your roof purchase. What do you think is going to happen? "My brother spent 20K on a new roof. He must have 5K to give me to spend on a new handbag."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

If you're on the money and finances forum, you're a nosy Nancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

If you're on the money and finances forum, you're a nosy Nancy.

It’s an anonymous board. It’s not the same thing as going through someone else’s mail or subjecting them to a lecture about your overpriced investment schemes or your opinions about what you see of their lifestyle, PP.

[Anonymous]

No one in our families know how much we have except maybe my sister and BIL. Not the actual amount but based on our help they know we have some extra. They think we use our social security money to help. I call it grandma money.

Our son thinks we sell garage moonshine. That's what I told him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk about your money? Show your money? Buy flashy things?
Who in your family or friends knows how much you make or how much you have? Who do you talk bonuses with? Or stock investments?
My SIL outright asks my DH how much we make???! Nunya. Nunya F**cking Business! I tell him to deflect or answer vaguely (Not as much as last year haha) or something like that. I think it’s bc they have a little money now at 55 so they like to drop a line like We spent 10K on our trip to Hawaii, can you believe it?! Do people new to money do this on the regular?

I think it makes sense for her to ask since she's your DH's sister and has known him her whole life. Maybe they come from a family where talking about finances is normal.

I would not like if DH answered SIL about how much money we make. She doesn’t work, has been evicted from multiple apartments, and has creditors after her. She would only be asking to determine how much she can mooch from us.

DP, but I agree.

There's something different to me about asking how much something cost (a new car, fancy hotel on vacation, etc) vs asking someone how much they make.

It's not like a random stranger asking you how much you make. It's your immediate family. I find it odd that you would hide those facts from them, unless you have reason to believe that they have ulterior motives.

Also, found the nosy nancy!

If you're on the money and finances forum, you're a nosy Nancy.

It’s an anonymous board. It’s not the same thing as going through someone else’s mail or subjecting them to a lecture about your overpriced investment schemes or your opinions about what you see of their lifestyle, PP.

This entire forum is filled with people offering their opinions about what they think about the poster's lifestyle, and discussing whether the poster's investment strategy is wise. Very hilarious that you want to see this type of discussion among anonymous strangers but find it offensive to do it with your own family.

[Anonymous]

My parents were new money but I grew up in wealth. I don’t talk about “net worth” but I’m fully transparent with my income, my investments (S&P 500 and chill), and various money moves for conversation sake.
Not talking about salary in the workplace is how the Man keeps you down. You need to demand and encourage transparency on income, tax advantaged programs, and strategies that anybody can use so everybody benefits. It’s not a zero sum game

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have been shocked at the nosiness of some people - such as my SIL (DH's brother's wife) who asked how much our new roof cost (why??? They live across the country from us) and I said "I don't even know, so you don't need to know."

The same relative once said to me in a somewhat excited voice that she heard we stood to inherit X amount of money when my mother died. I was totally shocked. It meant that my DH must have speculated to his brother about my mother's net worth (two homes and some land). But this was years before she actually passed, and no one had any idea what her care costs would be, if there would be anything left of her estate. I had never speculated to my own husband about my potential inheritance, because I had never even speculated to myself. So to hear this from his brother's wife was very creepy. I guess she is just someone with no boundaries and an obsession with money. I absolutely would never discuss any money thing with her.

But if someone else asks me what I got for the sale of X, or what we paid for our used car, I tell them. I think sometimes people are just trying to get a sense of how bad inflation is or not... they are not being nosy.

Would it be possible your SIL was just trying to get a sense of what things cost, such as you roof? You contradict yourself - your SIL likely just trying to determine/compare roofing costs, and we know labor differs by market but not materials. Not sure why people are so secretive about sharing how much they paid for their damn roof!

Why do you care so much about what your siblings or their partners make/spend?

Maybe your sibling is concerned about whether you got fleeced on your roof purchase. What do you think is going to happen? "My brother spent 20K on a new roof. He must have 5K to give me to spend on a new handbag."

How would they know if they got fleeced if they live in an entirely different state, across the country? That isnt necessarily comparable.
Lotta justification on why you want to stick your nose into your siblings (or their partners???) finances.

[Anonymous]

My husband was the CEO of a good size public company so his compensation was made public every year so people had a good sense what our income was but we never talked about it though I'm sure others did. We have two nice homes and it would be easy to know what they are worth. We don't drive expensive cars and we don't spend a lot of money on clothes, jewelry etc. We often travel with friends so its pretty easy to know what we are all spending but we never talk about it. My husbands siblings are all very successful but they never talk about it.