Americans, does it bother you when immigrants complain about America?

[Anonymous]

Most immigrants I know low-key complain about the US, mostly among themselves. A typical comment is “nice country, there’s just too many Americans in it”. They live here anyway because they generally don’t have the same standard of living at home.

Some will move back home, but often return after a while. There’s an ease and convenience to life here that you don’t have in many countries, but there’s a price to pay, e.g. probably the worst food chain of any modern country, guns, religion etc. In some ways the US is quite backward. A couple of hundred more years of marinading will probably help.

[Anonymous]

OP why are you married to this man?

He sees you as a mail order toy, like the posters above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it does not. I have lived and traveled throughout Europe. America is the most racist and toxic place I have lived. Sadly my family is here.

There because Americans are the worst at genocide and ethnic cleansing, and the most welcoming of immigrants, except for how USA did the Native Americans. It's easy to be "not racist" after the ethnic cleansing is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a white American man. I am an Asian immigrant who received her citizenship upon marriage to him.

Lately, he gets angry and defensive and calls me "anti-American" when I complain about various things. U.S. Foreign policy, the junk food, the lack of style of fellow Americans.

He says if I live here, I should be happy and not anti-patriotic.

Wondering if other Americans feel this way?

You're not anti-American, you're just annoying.

[Anonymous]

I guess a pair of self absorbed people can fall in love and get married, but the honeymoon doesn't last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a white American man. I am an Asian immigrant who received her citizenship upon marriage to him.

Lately, he gets angry and defensive and calls me "anti-American" when I complain about various things. U.S. Foreign policy, the junk food, the lack of style of fellow Americans.

He says if I live here, I should be happy and not anti-patriotic.

Wondering if other Americans feel this way?

You're not anti-American, you're just annoying.

[Anonymous]

Not in general unless they (a) never say anything good about the U.S. and (b) refuse to tolerate any criticism of their home country. In general when I’ve lived in countries I wasn’t born in tried to keep my conversation of the differences non-judgmental; usually the differences have both positive and negative outcomes depending on circumstances and it’s interesting to think about why different cultures developed as they did. But no one wants to hear their spouse constantly telling them something they love sucks (even if it does).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it does not. I have lived and traveled throughout Europe. America is the most racist and toxic place I have lived. Sadly my family is here.

Seriously? I find Europe to be 100X more racist than America.

[Anonymous]

Do you do that thing my DH does, which is make really, REALLY broad generalizations? I laugh it off, usually, but I can see how it would get annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it does not. I have lived and traveled throughout Europe. America is the most racist and toxic place I have lived. Sadly my family is here.

Sure...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One issue with complaining about where you live to someone who also lives there is that it can impact their enjoyment of the place.

I had a coworker who moved to DC from NYC and was constantly going on and on about how NY was better. The food was better. The transportation was better. The beach was closer. Theatre was better. Etc. The thing is, a lot of these are objectively true. Like I'm not going to argue that the theatre scene in DC is as good or better than NY! But listening to someone tell you over and over again about how the place you live is inferior to where they used to live is miserable. There ARE actually good things about DC and I used to just wish my coworker would learn to embrace those things, or move back to NY. She wasn't totally wrong, but her approach sucked.

I also think if you are complaining that much, it's possible that you are the one with the issue. Not that there aren't things about the US to criticize (there are lots!) but if you are complaining daily about the country you live in, you might want to speak to a therapist about how to shift your outlook so the things you don't like don't bother you so much. Like I hate American gun culture and our refusal to embrace universal healthcare, too, but most days I'm not talking about those things, I'm just enjoying my family and my neighborhood and hanging with friends. They bother me sometimes when they directly impact me, and I think about them when I vote and will discuss them at appropriate times, but they are not on my mind 24/7.

+1 Someone who complains this much needs a major attitude adjustment (or to move back to where they came from) for their own mental health as well as everyone around them. You can find good things about most places.

[Anonymous]

Complaining about America is the most American thing you can do.

Pretending America is perfect is the mistake.

[Anonymous]

It bothers me when people believe only what they watch on YouTube or the polarizing media, and don’t take the time to educate themselves. That goes for everyone, including Americans who are equally prone to superficial level understanding of a culture and judge it based on what little they know. Very few Americans really know anything about anyone from China, the Middle East, Korea, Mexico but we judge and mouth off anyway.

[Anonymous]

It only bothers me when two specific people I know do it. One is Russian and the other is Bolivian.

The acquaintance from Bolivia constantly bashes everything about the US. She hates our foods, people, education system, government, healthcare, etc. She states all the time that the only reason she's here in the US is to make a crap ton of money before retiring back in her beloved home country. She and her husband are currently building their dream home in Bolivia and expect to retire in the next 2-3 years when her youngest goes to college.

The friend from Russia gets on my nerves because she constantly talks about how ignorant Americans are, yet she still sends her kids to public schools.

[Anonymous]

I briefly dated a man who came as a refugee from El Salvador. He grew up in a hut, was illiterate at the age of eleven, and had lost his mother and two siblings to "voodoo".
Decades later, he is an American citizen, he has a degree, a career, and owns two houses. His father is retired and living on a decent pension after working in maintenance.
He complains. Bitterly. All the time. Not about American foreign policy in Latin America. Or anything important. He complains that women have too much freedom, that it's a crime to rape a woman who isn't a virgin, it's too cold, the mangos aren't fresh, and so on. Meanwhile, he's still a citizen of El Salvador and El Salvador is doing pretty well right now, and he could basically live like a king in El Salvador, while retaining his American citizenship. But for some reason he chooses to stay and rant. It doesn't bother me because he's not part of my life anymore. But I do find it baffling.