Was My Mother Putting Something in My Food?

[Anonymous]

This could have been an allergy. It took me years to discover that I had a grain allergy that would cause this.

[Anonymous]

Some people present with migraines like this. It was likely triggered by stress and puberty hormones.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I did some reading on cyclic vomiting syndrome. It seems to be basically an affliction where young people (less often adults) have fairly regular bouts of nausea. It usually starts around ages five to seven, which somewhat lines up with what I remember (although I think I started a bit later). There does seem to be a connection with migraines, which I have never had. I still don't think that my mother's cooking hygiene, other than not washing her hands, was that bad. The food appeared to be cooked properly, and neither of my parents would get sick.

I did remember one strange incident involving food that occurred when I was about ten years old. My stomach was hurting, and it was dinnertime. I told my mother my stomach hurt beforehand and that I wasn't hungry. She insisted that I eat my dinner anyway. I managed to get down the meal. However, my father had bought pastries for dessert. By dessert time, my stomach was really hurting, and I asked if I could eat my pastry at a different time. My mother insisted that I eat it then. I ate it and immediately vomited all over the table. I know that generation was fond of the "clean-your-plate" rule, but it seems odd that she was applying it to dessert. Maybe this is a reflection of generational differences, but I can't imagine forcing my sick child to eat dessert of all things.

But, again, perhaps that was just another slightly strange incident. Since I will never know for sure at this point, it is probably easier to tell myself that it was undiagnosed cyclic vomiting syndrome since the alternative is really awful. But thank you, everyone, for all your advice!

[Anonymous]

My niece, who is now 30, was often sick with stomach issues as a child/teen.

Once she left for college, her health improved greatly, even though she was diagnosed with
Crohn's disease.

The stress from living with her mom (mental health issues, alcoholism) triggered - and still triggers - many Crohn's symptoms.

When my niece is on her own, managing her health, she is fine. When she gets sucked back into family dynamics, she gets really sick again.

Food for thought....

[Anonymous]

I thought my emotionally abusive mom was bad. But I can’t imagine her trying to poison me.
So sorry OP that your childhood was bad or weird enough that this could be a possibility.
I would guess also that it was more about emotional stress, her being over controlling If she wanted to poison you and end your life, she would have found a way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did some reading on cyclic vomiting syndrome. It seems to be basically an affliction where young people (less often adults) have fairly regular bouts of nausea. It usually starts around ages five to seven, which somewhat lines up with what I remember (although I think I started a bit later). There does seem to be a connection with migraines, which I have never had. I still don't think that my mother's cooking hygiene, other than not washing her hands, was that bad. The food appeared to be cooked properly, and neither of my parents would get sick.

I did remember one strange incident involving food that occurred when I was about ten years old. My stomach was hurting, and it was dinnertime. I told my mother my stomach hurt beforehand and that I wasn't hungry. She insisted that I eat my dinner anyway. I managed to get down the meal. However, my father had bought pastries for dessert. By dessert time, my stomach was really hurting, and I asked if I could eat my pastry at a different time. My mother insisted that I eat it then. I ate it and immediately vomited all over the table. I know that generation was fond of the "clean-your-plate" rule, but it seems odd that she was applying it to dessert. Maybe this is a reflection of generational differences, but I can't imagine forcing my sick child to eat dessert of all things.

But, again, perhaps that was just another slightly strange incident. Since I will never know for sure at this point, it is probably easier to tell myself that it was undiagnosed cyclic vomiting syndrome since the alternative is really awful. But thank you, everyone, for all your advice!

I think that since your mother is dead, it's really not a helpful or healthy thing to ponder. Seems like sort of a waste of time, energy, and emotion honestly.

[Anonymous]

OP, my mom was not a good parent in a variety of ways but if someone asked me, hey, would your mom ever have tried to poison you, I would absolutely know that the answer was no. Zero question. That you're even asking this - and you don't sound crazy at all - is all the answer you need here. Like, maybe she actually did it, maybe she didn't, but she was the kind of parent to you where it would be totally believable that she could have, and that's bad enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people present with migraines like this. It was likely triggered by stress and puberty hormones.

OP - to be clear- there are no headaches associated with these "migraines", its just nausea and vomiting. Very often confused with cyclical vomiting syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother passed away several years ago, so I can't ask her. I can't think of how my being sick might have benefitted her. I wouldn't even tell her, if it was at night, since I knew she wouldn't do anything. I just toughed it out. I suspect she heard me getting up to vomit all night, but she didn't check on me. I don't even recall her bringing me any medicine or ginger ale to help my stomach during waking hours. As I get older, I realize more and more how strange my childhood was. When you are in the midst of it, you just assume that the weird stuff is normal.

Your last sentence resonates with me. My mother is crazy and caused me so much stress as a child. She still does but at least we live apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I am approaching paranoia. I know it sounds strange to even consider this possibility. It just seems strange that this was entirely confined to my years living at home as a child. I don't have a nervous stomach now or food allergies. And I have lived without problem in developing countries where the sanitary standards were not as strict and other Americans around me were getting sick but I wasn't. Perhaps it was a result of severe stress, but I often felt stress in college and grad school and didn't get sick. I guess a lack of good hygiene practices while cooking is the logical possibility, but I guess I will never know for sure.

I think it possible she was purposely trying to make you sick.

[Anonymous]

Every time we visit my in-laws I get what feels like a stomach flu of different intensity. Sometimes just stomach cramps and sometimes throwing up. I think it’s the way my MIL prepares food. Her kitchen is not clean and she doesn’t use dishwasher. I also suspect she doesn’t check expiration dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never heard of cyclic vomiting syndrome, but I will google it. I never developed migraines as an adult.

My son had it in ES and outgrew it in middle school. That said, I have a crazy mother and if you think this was a possibility, she might have done it. I"m sorry that you had a difficult mother. I'm doing trauma therapy b/c of the abuse I went through. It's...clarifying even if unpleasent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time we visit my in-laws I get what feels like a stomach flu of different intensity. Sometimes just stomach cramps and sometimes throwing up. I think it’s the way my MIL prepares food. Her kitchen is not clean and she doesn’t use dishwasher. I also suspect she doesn’t check expiration dates.

Same at my step-MIL and FIL. She is unhygienic and he doesn't like to waste. So, we only eat what we buy when we visit.

[Anonymous]

OP: Your mom not checking on you while vomiting is abuse. Neglect. Horrible. No matter if she caused it or not. When my children vomit, I'm up all night worried they'll aspirate. I take care of them too... Sorry, it's friday, so have to add FFS. Basic parenting. I'm sorry we didn't have it.

[Anonymous]

The mind/body connection is strong. My money is on the stress of being parented by and living with your mother made you physically ill. I’m so sorry that happened to you. The fact that it happened and that you have these questions shows how traumatic your childhood was. I hope you consider therapy or find other support.