9yo second grader?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 1st grader has a girl in her class who turned 8 in December. I guess the child voluntarily told everyone she turned 8 according to my DD. She seems bright and social so my assumption is Covid had something to do with that decision. While I don't begrudge the parents their choice, it is frustrating to me when the teacher compares my early summer DD to her classmates. I mean sure there are kids with a higher reading level in her class---one is 1.5 years older than her???!!???

Are you sure the kid isn't lying? She make just be saying that to be the oldest. Unless you went to her 8th birthday party you want to take a 1st graders word for it?

[Anonymous]

This is redshirting gone wrong. Poor kid. If they’re in a K-6 elementary school, god help those poor teachers dealing with a 13 year old all year long. Elementary schools are not built for 13 year olds. Then in her senior year, this kid is going to be 19 the entire year.
Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a young for her grade DD and a neighbor with a DD in the same grade as my DD held her DD. She’s over 14 months older than my DD and she’s constantly posting in FB moms groups I’m in about how advanced her DD is and she can’t wait till she gets in the gifted program… barf. She’s in the wrong grade. She’s probably average for the grade she SHOULD be in.

What about my kid in the correct grade who does well? I can’t stand braggy redshirters. To me, it’s embarrassing for them because they had so little faith in their kid’s abilities, they had to hold them back so they could claim they are “advanced”. Drives me crazy.

Oh please. You are hyper fixated on the oldest kid in the class, what about alllll the other kids closer to your kid's age? You could have redshirted but didn't, so now just make peace with your choice or it's going to be a long 12 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m fascinated by parents who keep track of other classmates’ ages- weird. I only know the birthdays of my kids’ close friends. Even at the big birthday parties when they were in early elementary , I don’t think I even noticed what age the kid was turning (if it was mentioned at all). I do know a few kids are redshirted or very young for grade due to being a different travel sports age (up or down) than mine, but I’ve never thought much about it. My kids’ birthdays are all right in the middle for grade so maybe that is why.

Agree…it shouldn’t be a thing. I’m sure I’ve had other parents brag about their kids to me and the moment passed and I moved on. This is a blip, don’t give it a moment’s thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is redshirting gone wrong. Poor kid. If they’re in a K-6 elementary school, god help those poor teachers dealing with a 13 year old all year long. Elementary schools are not built for 13 year olds. Then in her senior year, this kid is going to be 19 the entire year.
Ridiculous.

Do you really think there is a drastic difference between kids 12.75 and 13? Way to be dramatic. The teachers will be fine.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who was redshirted in a similar situation. The girl was really developmentally behind in preschool and the teachers really thought she should wait. By the time she was in 3rd grade, she was doing really well. It’s rare to skip grades, so she stayed with that grade.

The mom was probably pretty worried for a few years there, so she’s probably seeking validation for her child now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is redshirting gone wrong. Poor kid. If they’re in a K-6 elementary school, god help those poor teachers dealing with a 13 year old all year long. Elementary schools are not built for 13 year olds. Then in her senior year, this kid is going to be 19 the entire year.
Ridiculous.

Do you really think there is a drastic difference between kids 12.75 and 13? Way to be dramatic. The teachers will be fine.

I really do think there is a drastic difference. I taught 6th grade for years and am now an administrator at an elementary school. You can spot the random 13 year old a mile away both in their size and their social interactions. They were held back somewhere. Kids don’t turn 13 until they are in 7th grade. Socially they are a different beast than the typical 6th grader who is 11 turning 12.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:There’s a kid in DD class whose birthday is just days before the cutoff. They didn’t start K until she was 6, almost 7. They are now in 2nd grade and I’m honestly so tired of this mom and her bragging about her “advanced” 9yo second grader.

She’s so great at sports, she’s reading above third-grade level (probably because she should BE a third grader, or older!)

I’m not so sure she’s advanced as much as she’s just older. Thoughts? Do I just ignore this woman or should something politely be said?

I know someone like this. Child was redshirted with an early June (like June 2) birthday. For K she was like “I just hope it’s advanced enough.” It took everything in me not to say “maybe if you hadn’t redshirted how advanced K is wouldn’t be a concern.” But I held it in. Soon enough these kids will realize it’s awkward to be a year older than everyone in their class, and it’s not their fault. It’s the parents, but it’s annoying.

They are not a year older. The June birthday will be the same age, or within a few months of several kids. She might not even be the oldest.

A June birthday child that was redshirted will be a full year older than my late June child who went to K on time (and is doing great academically and socially in 3rd, by the way).

but what OP is describing looks different. it sounds like a child born in september (not june) was redshirted. i.e. a child who was already likely to oldest was redshirted. honestly, i am not sure i understand - but she did mention that the child started K at almost 7?

I was replying to the person who talked about an early June redshirted child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Hmmm, that’s good. Your 9 year old is reading at a 9 year old level. You’d be a bit concerned if she wasn’t though, wouldn’t you?”

“Hmmm. Yes, it is unfair that kids are separated by grade for sports in school instead of by age. Luckily real sports clubs separate by age like they should. You might have some trouble in the future when your daughter needs to compete against people her own age.”

+1 I call this out when I hear it. And then I push back with the same logic if they respond with more than ‘that’s true’.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. This person did something close to a double red-shirt?

My DS is early October, and is one of the older 3rd graders at 9.

But you're saying this kid missed the cutoff by a few days and is already 9, but that would basically mean they were a full year older than even the oldest kids?

Anyway, I feel you OP. I'm SO TIRED of my best friend complaining that her son isn't challenged in school. If you wanted to your kid to be challenged, put him in the GD grade he's supposed to be in!

NP but I think it goes like this:

Young Five the 5yo just before the cutoff, immediately turns 6

Kindergarten at 6, immediately turns 7

1st at 7, immediately 8

2nd at 8, immediately 9

My DS has a friend that has a December bday (Oct 1 cutoff district) that started school a year late. He did turn 9 in December of his 2nd grade year. So maybe something like this. But i don't think this is a normal "redshirt" as his bday is actually after the cutoff.

My DS with a birthday a few days before the cut off was redhsirted. And he turned 9 in 3rd grade.

Kinder: started as 5 yo and turned 6 a month in (if not redshirted, he would have started as a 4yo)
1st: started as 6 and turned 7 a month in
2nd: started as 7 and turned 8 a month in
3rd: started as 8 and turned 9 a month in
...

That is not what OP is describing. It’s normal to start k at 5 and turn 6 a month in; that would just be a kid w an October bday who started on time. Op is saying there’s a kid who started k at 6 and turned 7 shortly after k started.

"whose birthday is just days before the cutoff. They didn’t start K until she was 6, almost 7."

I'm trying to figure out how this statement works in the OP.

I'm giving an example of my DS with a bday a few days before the cutoff and redshirted. And he still started K at 5 and turned 6 shortly even with being redshirted.

So for this kid to start K at 6 and turned 7 shortly, they must not have a bday a few days before the cutoff.

It depends when the cutoff is.

My district has a September 30th cutoff, but school starts end of August. So a child born right before the cutoff would either:

If sent "on time": start K at 4, turn 5 a month in.
If redshirted: start K at 5, turn 6 a month in

Since a kid with a 10/1 birthday would also start K at 5 and turn 6 a month in, no one would care about a child like that being redshirted here, and in fact it's common.

In order to have a 2nd grader who turned 9 a month into school here, you would either need to redshirt a September birthday twice OR redshirt an October birthday. I've never heard of either of those but would assume some kind of developmental delay or other issues if I came across it.

Even in the case of a developmental delay, i'd have questions about a child like this in my kid's classroom, because even with cognitive delays, their physical age would be two years older than my kid (July birthday, not redshirted). Having a kid that much older and more physically mature sounds like a bad idea, especially if they may have developmental issues or special needs.

Your example child would still turn 8 at the beginning of 2nd grade. OP is talking about a child who turned 9 at the beginning of 2nd grade. My July birthday child turned 9 the summer AFTER 3RD GRADE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is redshirting gone wrong. Poor kid. If they’re in a K-6 elementary school, god help those poor teachers dealing with a 13 year old all year long. Elementary schools are not built for 13 year olds. Then in her senior year, this kid is going to be 19 the entire year.
Ridiculous.

This is a parent who did't want to send their child to virtual Kindergarten and COULD HAVE started their child in 1st grade on time (there's no requirement that children go to KindergarteN), but instead chose to put their child as a much older kindergartener to give them an advantage. I 100% bet that child ends up in AAP/G&T and the mom will be like "oh look at Larla, she's GIFTED!!" <-- she's not gifted, she's just almost 2 years older than the youngest kid in the class.

- Mom to two summer birthday children who started school on time and both are in AAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a kid in DD class whose birthday is just days before the cutoff. They didn’t start K until she was 6, almost 7. They are now in 2nd grade and I’m honestly so tired of this mom and her bragging about her “advanced” 9yo second grader.

She’s so great at sports, she’s reading above third-grade level (probably because she should BE a third grader, or older!)

I’m not so sure she’s advanced as much as she’s just older. Thoughts? Do I just ignore this woman or should something politely be said?

Just point out the kid is 2 years older than the rest of the class so of course she stands out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is redshirting gone wrong. Poor kid. If they’re in a K-6 elementary school, god help those poor teachers dealing with a 13 year old all year long. Elementary schools are not built for 13 year olds. Then in her senior year, this kid is going to be 19 the entire year.
Ridiculous.

This is a parent who did't want to send their child to virtual Kindergarten and COULD HAVE started their child in 1st grade on time (there's no requirement that children go to KindergarteN), but instead chose to put their child as a much older kindergartener to give them an advantage. I 100% bet that child ends up in AAP/G&T and the mom will be like "oh look at Larla, she's GIFTED!!" <-- she's not gifted, she's just almost 2 years older than the youngest kid in the class.

- Mom to two summer birthday children who started school on time and both are in AAP.

Actually redshirting doesn’t help because testing is normed by age. The 9 year old will be scored against other 9 year olds, not the typical 7 turning 8 year olds in 2nd grade.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. This person did something close to a double red-shirt?

My DS is early October, and is one of the older 3rd graders at 9.

But you're saying this kid missed the cutoff by a few days and is already 9, but that would basically mean they were a full year older than even the oldest kids?

Anyway, I feel you OP. I'm SO TIRED of my best friend complaining that her son isn't challenged in school. If you wanted to your kid to be challenged, put him in the GD grade he's supposed to be in!

NP but I think it goes like this:

Young Five the 5yo just before the cutoff, immediately turns 6

Kindergarten at 6, immediately turns 7

1st at 7, immediately 8

2nd at 8, immediately 9

My DS has a friend that has a December bday (Oct 1 cutoff district) that started school a year late. He did turn 9 in December of his 2nd grade year. So maybe something like this. But i don't think this is a normal "redshirt" as his bday is actually after the cutoff.

My DS with a birthday a few days before the cut off was redhsirted. And he turned 9 in 3rd grade.

Kinder: started as 5 yo and turned 6 a month in (if not redshirted, he would have started as a 4yo)
1st: started as 6 and turned 7 a month in
2nd: started as 7 and turned 8 a month in
3rd: started as 8 and turned 9 a month in
...

That is not what OP is describing. It’s normal to start k at 5 and turn 6 a month in; that would just be a kid w an October bday who started on time. Op is saying there’s a kid who started k at 6 and turned 7 shortly after k started.

"whose birthday is just days before the cutoff. They didn’t start K until she was 6, almost 7."

I'm trying to figure out how this statement works in the OP.

I'm giving an example of my DS with a bday a few days before the cutoff and redshirted. And he still started K at 5 and turned 6 shortly even with being redshirted.

So for this kid to start K at 6 and turned 7 shortly, they must not have a bday a few days before the cutoff.

It depends when the cutoff is.

My district has a September 30th cutoff, but school starts end of August. So a child born right before the cutoff would either:

If sent "on time": start K at 4, turn 5 a month in.
If redshirted: start K at 5, turn 6 a month in

Since a kid with a 10/1 birthday would also start K at 5 and turn 6 a month in, no one would care about a child like that being redshirted here, and in fact it's common.

In order to have a 2nd grader who turned 9 a month into school here, you would either need to redshirt a September birthday twice OR redshirt an October birthday. I've never heard of either of those but would assume some kind of developmental delay or other issues if I came across it.

Even in the case of a developmental delay, i'd have questions about a child like this in my kid's classroom, because even with cognitive delays, their physical age would be two years older than my kid (July birthday, not redshirted). Having a kid that much older and more physically mature sounds like a bad idea, especially if they may have developmental issues or special needs.

Your example child would still turn 8 at the beginning of 2nd grade. OP is talking about a child who turned 9 at the beginning of 2nd grade. My July birthday child turned 9 the summer AFTER 3RD GRADE.

You didn't read the whole post. I agree that OP cannot be talking about a child who was redshirted in the traditional sense -- she has to be talking about a child who was either redshirted for two full years, or a child with a birthday days AFTER the cutoff who was redshirted (so redshirting a child who as already the oldest or one of the oldest in their "natural" cohort).

I have a summer birthday who will also turn 9 the summer after 3rd grade. I would not want her in a classroom with a child who turned 9 at the beginning of 2nd grade. She has several classmates who will turn 8 before the end of 1st and this is already problematic to me (she's in first now), so a child 4-6 months older than that would just exacerbate this problem.

[Anonymous]

Annoying. Let her have her moment.
Raw intelligence starts to even out in middle school.
Also, as her DD enters puberty in the next 3 years, that child might be 4 inches taller than the other kids in the class and more developed, which will be super awkward for her.