Is it just me thinking wfh is abused?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most jobs are BS paper pushing anyway. If we're talking a lawyer missing filing deadlines, that's a different story.

Lawyers don’t have to miss deadlines to be a problem. I’ve seen more than one lazy gov lawyer tell their boss they are too busy to take on new cases, and then play candy crush all day. The new cases then go to the lawyers who already have a pile of work that they are actually doing.

When I was a newly minted gov lawyer (back in the days of 100% in office) one of the first things my mentor told me was to take a minimum of two weeks to reply to any email from outside our department, otherwise we would just get asked more and more. I did not listen and eventually became that go to helpful person everyone came to because I got things done whether it was my assignment or not. I came to regret that.

Pp here. That sounds pretty…extreme? Take two weeks to respond? We were expected to respond to most emails before cob if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most jobs are BS paper pushing anyway. If we're talking a lawyer missing filing deadlines, that's a different story.

No, law is BS paper pushing as well. Maybe the quintessential example of this. Lawyers just need to think they’re really really important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That isn’t allowed in most work places. But I also wonder why you being a mom of two is relevant.

If OP hadn't specified that she was a mom too, she would have been blasted to high heaven about being a DINK or childless and not understanding the plight and struggles of parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any parents skipping daycare but know several who gave up afterschool care (and they can definitely afford it). They also take an hour each day (outside of lunch) to pick their kids up at school and walk them home (but still log off at 5-5:30).

It’s frustrating to see as someone with kids who does the right thing, but I don’t work for their employers. If these are your coworkers, complain if it’s impacting you. Otherwise just smile politely when they complain about not getting raises or watch as their career stall.

I am sort of like this, except I start my day at 7 AM, frequently eat at my desk, and only take 20-30 minutes for pickup, so I'm definitely working a minimum of 8 hours a day. My 9 year old just wants to come home and veg on the couch until I'm done work. I don't see how this is abusing WFH. Maybe you don't see your coworkers logging on super early to make up time.

Well with all those caveats it certainly sounds like you are not abusing WFH and should probably be slightly annoyed with those that are, and whose actions could jeopardize your flexibility.

That's the point- going to get her kid and not putting them in after care is "abusing WFH". It's ridiculous. People are confusing flexibility and getting work done with being in an office, butts in seats. RTO is not the key to productivity. Flexibility is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP but I have two co-workers who kept their infants at home for a full year while working full-time without any additional help (other than two WFH parents). One of them said she couldn't find childcare, the other one one said her mom was living with them (mom was definitely not living with them, we had mutual friends).

It’s like you are sad that two moms actually got to spend time with their infants!
No work is as important as this. And if they left work they would have a hard time going back because of policies that are hostile to mothers (and to everyone frankly with all the endless interviews).
I am glad infants are getting quality care instead of being in daycares

DP. If these women had the arrangement cleared with their employers, I would have zero complaints. But if they are taking advantage of the system, they are hurting all women in similar positions. We need longer parental leave, but the answer isn’t being paid for work while caring for a child.

Also infants get quality care in daycare. It would be amazing if we had longer parental leave, but don’t make parents feel like their child isn’t cared for in a quality daycare setting.

Let’s not fool ourselves
Policy changes won’t happen while our kids are little.
Maybe our grandkids? Who knows
And even a quality daycare is worse than 1:1 with a loving intelligent woman
It’s acceptable and doesn’t hurt the kids in the long run as there are so many factors at play but at least let’s be real

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most jobs are BS paper pushing anyway. If we're talking a lawyer missing filing deadlines, that's a different story.

This exactly. And depends on the lawyer job too

[Anonymous]

If you used to pay a hefty percentage of your salary for childcare and can now save that percentage as you watch your own kids, why would you not? It would make no sense economically as long as you are able to do your job and your performance is fine. You essentially think people should throw money out the window but also likely judge people who struggle economically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP but I have two co-workers who kept their infants at home for a full year while working full-time without any additional help (other than two WFH parents). One of them said she couldn't find childcare, the other one one said her mom was living with them (mom was definitely not living with them, we had mutual friends).

It’s like you are sad that two moms actually got to spend time with their infants!
No work is as important as this. And if they left work they would have a hard time going back because of policies that are hostile to mothers (and to everyone frankly with all the endless interviews).
I am glad infants are getting quality care instead of being in daycares

DP. If these women had the arrangement cleared with their employers, I would have zero complaints. But if they are taking advantage of the system, they are hurting all women in similar positions. We need longer parental leave, but the answer isn’t being paid for work while caring for a child.

Also infants get quality care in daycare. It would be amazing if we had longer parental leave, but don’t make parents feel like their child isn’t cared for in a quality daycare setting.

Let’s not fool ourselves
Policy changes won’t happen while our kids are little.
Maybe our grandkids? Who knows
And even a quality daycare is worse than 1:1 with a loving intelligent woman
It’s acceptable and doesn’t hurt the kids in the long run as there are so many factors at play but at least let’s be real

Enmeshed much? Your child is no longer a part of your own body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Housing is only expensive for people who bought a first time home in last two years.

People who are remote don’t even need to live on an expensive area

People with child care issues are normally two income literally making double many people. They have the funds to pay for child care.

It is really people don’t want to work, use vacation days or spend their going out or vacation money on child care.

Nothing wrong asking but don’t expect people to believe it.

You managed to make several ignorant and incorrect statements in just a few sentences. congrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think housing has gotten so expensive that people are stretched super-thin. They can’t afford childcare so they try to wfh without it.

Was waiting for you to show up. Surprised you haven't blamed the boomers for this, too.

Waiting for who to show up? The entire middle class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know any parents skipping daycare but know several who gave up afterschool care (and they can definitely afford it). They also take an hour each day (outside of lunch) to pick their kids up at school and walk them home (but still log off at 5-5:30).

It’s frustrating to see as someone with kids who does the right thing, but I don’t work for their employers. If these are your coworkers, complain if it’s impacting you. Otherwise just smile politely when they complain about not getting raises or watch as their career stall.

Maybe it’s time to reevaluate priorities and see that a walk with your kids is more meaningful than achieving some made up goals at work.
Unless you are a doctor or teacher or someone like that, your job can wait

Don’t be stupid or disingenuous. Nobody gives a flying F if you are picking your kids up at school if you aren’t (1) saying you are not available for a meeting or delaying a deadline to do so or (2) are making up that time somewhere else. But the clean implication from the post is that these folks are not making up the time.

Making up all these excuses for those who abuse telework is going to hurt parents in the long run. I am really lost on how so many women fail to see that. The only reason I can come up with is that they are the ones intentionally abusing the situation and really don’t give a crap how it affects others.

I want parents to have flexibility that I did not have raising my kids. But just as some people abused telework during the pandemic and created scenarios where others need to RTO, so to will these parents hamper progress on by abusing WFH.

DP. Being “good girls” took parents nowhere. There is only more relaxed flex policies because of a health emergency.
The key is to not have them taken away again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP but I have two co-workers who kept their infants at home for a full year while working full-time without any additional help (other than two WFH parents). One of them said she couldn't find childcare, the other one one said her mom was living with them (mom was definitely not living with them, we had mutual friends).

It’s like you are sad that two moms actually got to spend time with their infants!
No work is as important as this. And if they left work they would have a hard time going back because of policies that are hostile to mothers (and to everyone frankly with all the endless interviews).
I am glad infants are getting quality care instead of being in daycares

+1 agree maybe this will help end some of the teenagers running around committing crimes while the parents are at work. Over time I think this will be a better system

Nah, the parents of these teens aren’t teleworking, and most likely aren’t working at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP but I have two co-workers who kept their infants at home for a full year while working full-time without any additional help (other than two WFH parents). One of them said she couldn't find childcare, the other one one said her mom was living with them (mom was definitely not living with them, we had mutual friends).

It’s like you are sad that two moms actually got to spend time with their infants!
No work is as important as this. And if they left work they would have a hard time going back because of policies that are hostile to mothers (and to everyone frankly with all the endless interviews).
I am glad infants are getting quality care instead of being in daycares

Then these moms need to quit and be SAHMs.

They won’t be able to re enter the workforce with all the insane interviews and the rest of the selection process
I don’t blame them.
We saw in 2020 that the system isn’t exactly looking out for us so…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP but I have two co-workers who kept their infants at home for a full year while working full-time without any additional help (other than two WFH parents). One of them said she couldn't find childcare, the other one one said her mom was living with them (mom was definitely not living with them, we had mutual friends).

It’s like you are sad that two moms actually got to spend time with their infants!
No work is as important as this. And if they left work they would have a hard time going back because of policies that are hostile to mothers (and to everyone frankly with all the endless interviews).
I am glad infants are getting quality care instead of being in daycares

DP. If these women had the arrangement cleared with their employers, I would have zero complaints. But if they are taking advantage of the system, they are hurting all women in similar positions. We need longer parental leave, but the answer isn’t being paid for work while caring for a child.

Also infants get quality care in daycare. It would be amazing if we had longer parental leave, but don’t make parents feel like their child isn’t cared for in a quality daycare setting.

Let’s not fool ourselves
Policy changes won’t happen while our kids are little.
Maybe our grandkids? Who knows
And even a quality daycare is worse than 1:1 with a loving intelligent woman
It’s acceptable and doesn’t hurt the kids in the long run as there are so many factors at play but at least let’s be real

Enmeshed much? Your child is no longer a part of your own body.

LOL, now raising your own child is enmeshment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DP but I have two co-workers who kept their infants at home for a full year while working full-time without any additional help (other than two WFH parents). One of them said she couldn't find childcare, the other one one said her mom was living with them (mom was definitely not living with them, we had mutual friends).

It’s like you are sad that two moms actually got to spend time with their infants!
No work is as important as this. And if they left work they would have a hard time going back because of policies that are hostile to mothers (and to everyone frankly with all the endless interviews).
I am glad infants are getting quality care instead of being in daycares

DP. If these women had the arrangement cleared with their employers, I would have zero complaints. But if they are taking advantage of the system, they are hurting all women in similar positions. We need longer parental leave, but the answer isn’t being paid for work while caring for a child.

Also infants get quality care in daycare. It would be amazing if we had longer parental leave, but don’t make parents feel like their child isn’t cared for in a quality daycare setting.

Let’s not fool ourselves
Policy changes won’t happen while our kids are little.
Maybe our grandkids? Who knows
And even a quality daycare is worse than 1:1 with a loving intelligent woman
It’s acceptable and doesn’t hurt the kids in the long run as there are so many factors at play but at least let’s be real

Enmeshed much? Your child is no longer a part of your own body.

Um, my kid is a teen and pretty independent.
I will never ever judge a woman putting her infant in daycare to work.
But let’s be honest with ourselves that for infants at least (not talking about preschool aged kids here) it’s better to have one primary caregiver for most of the day, and an intelligent one at that.