DD home from college; thinks she has ADHD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“So you think you might have ADHD. What is it that you want to see happen?”

Too often, you hear these pronouncements, but there’s no ask. Meanwhile, you’re jumping to try to solve something without knowing when you might even get close to a solution.

What is your dd expecting to see happen as a result of her self-diagnosis? Make her name it. Then you can figure out what’s possible and what you’re willing to do. What you don’t need to do is argue with her about whether her claim is valid or not.

Adderall. She wants Adderall.

+100

[Anonymous]

Why does everyone think she wants meds? I did not read all the responses- but OP perhaps look into getting her an executive coach who can help her stay organized. Even a virtual one could be helpful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ADHD became apparent for my Dd after her freshman year. She went from being a straight A student to being lucky to get a B-. Was a very tough transition but she gutted out the first year as a pre health major before she decided those classes showed her that she’s not good in those areas so she changed her major. The summer before sophomore year she saw a psychiatrist who put her on Adderall and it made a world of difference. She now has 1.5x time accommodations as well as ability to take exams in a private setting and she has gotten straight As since then.

Her ADHD is not obvious but the transition to college really highlighted some focus and motivation issues as well as lack of organizational skills, all brought to the forefront by the lack of structure that HS provided.

Wish your DD the best!

So now grades dropping from As in an easy school to actually having to work a little in college is a sign of ADHD?

Only if you are looking to medicalize laziness and a poor college prep education.

While this response is unnecessarily harsh, there is some truth to it.
-- Not everyone's education prior to college prepared them in the same way.
--Not everyone has the same academic / intellectual capabilities.
-- Classes aren't necessarily designed so that everyone gets an A. In fact, if an essay-based exam, grades may be evenly distributed.
-- She has been diagnosed with depression, and that may well be playing a role in her performance and what she's telling herself about her capabilities.
--You mentioned lack of organizational skills. Try some of the methods that students w ADHD use to stay organized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“So you think you might have ADHD. What is it that you want to see happen?”

Too often, you hear these pronouncements, but there’s no ask. Meanwhile, you’re jumping to try to solve something without knowing when you might even get close to a solution.

What is your dd expecting to see happen as a result of her self-diagnosis? Make her name it. Then you can figure out what’s possible and what you’re willing to do. What you don’t need to do is argue with her about whether her claim is valid or not.

Adderall. She wants Adderall.

100%

Exactly. She wants the drugs. Probably because everyone else has them.

More likely she is a kid looking for a solution to a problem because she is struggling.

OP, is she is contact with her current psychiatrist? I think she should start with them. Depression and anxiety can greatly affect cognition, as can medicine one takes for depression, as can lots of other things that happen to college students (lack of sleep, lack of exercise, stress, etc.). It's not surprising that she has landed on ADHD as a potential cause, but she should really speak to a doctor about it. I think the logical place to start is her psychiatrist (assuming she likes them and she feels they listen to her concerns).

Yes. But perhaps her struggling could best be addressed with a few sessions with a tutor, or a little more time in the library, versus taking drugs?

Maybe, but just glibly saying "oh study harder" misses the opportunity for a professional screening to figure out what might really be going on. If her depression is inadequately controlled trying to "study harder" is not going to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“So you think you might have ADHD. What is it that you want to see happen?”

Too often, you hear these pronouncements, but there’s no ask. Meanwhile, you’re jumping to try to solve something without knowing when you might even get close to a solution.

What is your dd expecting to see happen as a result of her self-diagnosis? Make her name it. Then you can figure out what’s possible and what you’re willing to do. What you don’t need to do is argue with her about whether her claim is valid or not.

Adderall. She wants Adderall.

+100

+1000

I'm sure she feels that she is at a huge disadvantage without it as most kids have/use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“So you think you might have ADHD. What is it that you want to see happen?”

Too often, you hear these pronouncements, but there’s no ask. Meanwhile, you’re jumping to try to solve something without knowing when you might even get close to a solution.

What is your dd expecting to see happen as a result of her self-diagnosis? Make her name it. Then you can figure out what’s possible and what you’re willing to do. What you don’t need to do is argue with her about whether her claim is valid or not.

Adderall. She wants Adderall.

100%

Exactly. She wants the drugs. Probably because everyone else has them.

More likely she is a kid looking for a solution to a problem because she is struggling.

OP, is she is contact with her current psychiatrist? I think she should start with them. Depression and anxiety can greatly affect cognition, as can medicine one takes for depression, as can lots of other things that happen to college students (lack of sleep, lack of exercise, stress, etc.). It's not surprising that she has landed on ADHD as a potential cause, but she should really speak to a doctor about it. I think the logical place to start is her psychiatrist (assuming she likes them and she feels they listen to her concerns).

Yes. But perhaps her struggling could best be addressed with a few sessions with a tutor, or a little more time in the library, versus taking drugs?

Maybe, but just glibly saying "oh study harder" misses the opportunity for a professional screening to figure out what might really be going on. If her depression is inadequately controlled trying to "study harder" is not going to work.

She has had professional screening, recently and with two different professionals. I think it’s safe to trust the experts and not the self-diagnosis of a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Ignore all these posters not focusing on getting a good diagnosis and help getting better coping strategies which may it may not include medications. If it is adhd or some other issue like it, it will not self resolve. Help you kid tackle it now for college and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ADHD became apparent for my Dd after her freshman year. She went from being a straight A student to being lucky to get a B-. Was a very tough transition but she gutted out the first year as a pre health major before she decided those classes showed her that she’s not good in those areas so she changed her major. The summer before sophomore year she saw a psychiatrist who put her on Adderall and it made a world of difference. She now has 1.5x time accommodations as well as ability to take exams in a private setting and she has gotten straight As since then.

Her ADHD is not obvious but the transition to college really highlighted some focus and motivation issues as well as lack of organizational skills, all brought to the forefront by the lack of structure that HS provided.

Wish your DD the best!

So now grades dropping from As in an easy school to actually having to work a little in college is a sign of ADHD?

Only if you are looking to medicalize laziness and a poor college prep education.

+1 not acing premed classes doesn’t mean adhd🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“So you think you might have ADHD. What is it that you want to see happen?”

Too often, you hear these pronouncements, but there’s no ask. Meanwhile, you’re jumping to try to solve something without knowing when you might even get close to a solution.

What is your dd expecting to see happen as a result of her self-diagnosis? Make her name it. Then you can figure out what’s possible and what you’re willing to do. What you don’t need to do is argue with her about whether her claim is valid or not.

Adderall. She wants Adderall.

100%

Likely. I knew several kids in college who made a visit to the student health center and got a script for adhd. She doesn’t need a full neuropsych exam. Just tell her to make a visit to the student health center or take her to her GP at home. They can evaluate and based on her symptoms decide if medication is ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“So you think you might have ADHD. What is it that you want to see happen?”

Too often, you hear these pronouncements, but there’s no ask. Meanwhile, you’re jumping to try to solve something without knowing when you might even get close to a solution.

What is your dd expecting to see happen as a result of her self-diagnosis? Make her name it. Then you can figure out what’s possible and what you’re willing to do. What you don’t need to do is argue with her about whether her claim is valid or not.

Adderall. She wants Adderall.

100%

Likely. I knew several kids in college who made a visit to the student health center and got a script for adhd. She doesn’t need a full neuropsych exam. Just tell her to make a visit to the student health center or take her to her GP at home. They can evaluate and based on her symptoms decide if medication is ok

This is a terrible idea. If people who specialize in the field didn’t find ADHD, a GP isn’t qualified to second guess this. And you are turning your kid into an addict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this ADHD drug will do is make you a life long addict. And when one can't find any on the street, enter meth. I have seen it so many times it ain't funny. Coming off of that s*** is unreal. They can't, not won't, can't function and it takes months even years to get that out of your system and brain.

But you're the parent. Do what you want to do but be aware.

Treating ADHD makes a person less likely to abuse drugs, not more. Untreated ADHD puts a person at significantly greater risk not only for drug abuse but also for serious motor vehicle accidents, mental health issues, dropping out of school, money problems, and lifelong underachievement in all areas. Also, for the record, many ADHD meds leave a person’s system within hours, and don’t even need to be taken daily if they’re not needed.

OP, make sure that any evaluation your daughter had went beyond subjective behavioral assessments (my understanding is that those are a little more likely to miss the diagnosis in girls, who don’t always present as classic stereotypes). Make sure it included more objective tests of working memory and variable attention.

Whether it’s ADHD or not, it sounds like the most important thing she’s telling you is that she needs help.

100%

Mine is a cautionary tale of what it's like to be miss the diagnosis. I was diagnosed with depression in the mid 90's while in high school. I was a terribly inattentive kid in school, a space cadet in my daily interactions with family and peers. In absence of hyperactivity symptoms, I was handed a depression diagnosis as I struggled to focus, earning mostly Cs in science and math classes, As in humanities. I was only able to focus on topics which I found interesting. I took anti-depressants from 16 - 19. I got into a decent LAC and came home after failing out my freshman year. I enrolled into our local CC, completely lost it and became addicted to street drugs. Battled addiction all through my early 20's. Got into legal trouble and nearly lost my life. At 24, after wasting 5 years of my life, I was evaluated by two psychiatrists who concluded that I was paralyzed by ADHD (without the H ). I've been on medication for over 20 years now. I enrolled into our state school and got my BA in 3 years, met my husband, and started a family. Reading this forum now as I now myself have a graduating senior. I'm so sad reading this thread. Ofc there are plenty of savvy kids who may not have ADHD and are looking for an academic edge, but I would not completely discount the possibility that the evaluation may have missed it. Girls do sometimes present with ADHD while being the opposite of hyperactive, without a trace of fidgeting. I remember being told by my high school psychiatrist that with a 120 IQ, I needed to change my study habits, be more disciplined etc etc. I spent my formative years convinced that I had clinical depression. I prob even romanticized that diagnosis. My parents thought I was lazy. I had terrible self-esteem. Anti-depressants were not helping at all and I self-medicated with hard drugs. Ever since starting on ADHD meds, I have not relapsed once. I take one XR in the morning and I go through my days filled with work, family and household chores. I credit my recovery entirely to being on the right meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore all these posters not focusing on getting a good diagnosis and help getting better coping strategies which may it may not include medications. If it is adhd or some other issue like it, it will not self resolve. Help you kid tackle it now for college and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore all these posters not focusing on getting a good diagnosis and help getting better coping strategies which may it may not include medications. If it is adhd or some other issue like it, it will not self resolve. Help you kid tackle it now for college and beyond.

Plenty of people with inattentive ADHD learn coping skills to manage it, thus resolving the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All this ADHD drug will do is make you a life long addict. And when one can't find any on the street, enter meth. I have seen it so many times it ain't funny. Coming off of that s*** is unreal. They can't, not won't, can't function and it takes months even years to get that out of your system and brain.

But you're the parent. Do what you want to do but be aware.

Treating ADHD makes a person less likely to abuse drugs, not more. Untreated ADHD puts a person at significantly greater risk not only for drug abuse but also for serious motor vehicle accidents, mental health issues, dropping out of school, money problems, and lifelong underachievement in all areas. Also, for the record, many ADHD meds leave a person’s system within hours, and don’t even need to be taken daily if they’re not needed.

OP, make sure that any evaluation your daughter had went beyond subjective behavioral assessments (my understanding is that those are a little more likely to miss the diagnosis in girls, who don’t always present as classic stereotypes). Make sure it included more objective tests of working memory and variable attention.

Whether it’s ADHD or not, it sounds like the most important thing she’s telling you is that she needs help.

100%

Mine is a cautionary tale of what it's like to be miss the diagnosis. I was diagnosed with depression in the mid 90's while in high school. I was a terribly inattentive kid in school, a space cadet in my daily interactions with family and peers. In absence of hyperactivity symptoms, I was handed a depression diagnosis as I struggled to focus, earning mostly Cs in science and math classes, As in humanities. I was only able to focus on topics which I found interesting. I took anti-depressants from 16 - 19. I got into a decent LAC and came home after failing out my freshman year. I enrolled into our local CC, completely lost it and became addicted to street drugs. Battled addiction all through my early 20's. Got into legal trouble and nearly lost my life. At 24, after wasting 5 years of my life, I was evaluated by two psychiatrists who concluded that I was paralyzed by ADHD (without the H ). I've been on medication for over 20 years now. I enrolled into our state school and got my BA in 3 years, met my husband, and started a family. Reading this forum now as I now myself have a graduating senior. I'm so sad reading this thread. Ofc there are plenty of savvy kids who may not have ADHD and are looking for an academic edge, but I would not completely discount the possibility that the evaluation may have missed it. Girls do sometimes present with ADHD while being the opposite of hyperactive, without a trace of fidgeting. I remember being told by my high school psychiatrist that with a 120 IQ, I needed to change my study habits, be more disciplined etc etc. I spent my formative years convinced that I had clinical depression. I prob even romanticized that diagnosis. My parents thought I was lazy. I had terrible self-esteem. Anti-depressants were not helping at all and I self-medicated with hard drugs. Ever since starting on ADHD meds, I have not relapsed once. I take one XR in the morning and I go through my days filled with work, family and household chores. I credit my recovery entirely to being on the right meds.

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry. I too had a missed diagnosis. The diagnosis alone (at age 37? 38?) changed my life for the better, and dramatically. Although 12 years post-diagnosis, I finally decided at my doctor’s urging to take a tiny amount of meds (my personal sweet spot is 7.5 mg, IR, first thing in am, not every day, and yes it helps), it was really the diagnosis that allowed me to rearrange my life/ my understanding of myself so I could finally be, and feel, successful.

The comments in this thread make me sad, as well. I suppose certainty can be comforting.

At any rate, thank you. I wish you well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A comprehensive neuropsych exam at 16 would have found it even if op didn’t mention it at time.

Anxiety/depression can produce similar side effects, such as difficulty concentrating. Symptoms of ADHD are not exclusive to ADHD.