Why don’t we open gifts at kid parties anymore?

[Anonymous]

Because it's tacky.

[Anonymous]

My autistic kid does not want everyone looking at them while opening gifts. They open at home right after the party. I text thank yous and pictures of child with present to some of the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids have searing, awful memories of those times OP. Imagine if you couldn’t give a “good” gift or if yours was meager compared to someone else. It became a pissing contest that, like always, generally embarrassed some kid with less money than everyone else who remembers it as “a fun time”.

Also, we’re all drowning in crap.

This.

Imagine the kids laughing at the gift that your kid brought.

If my kid did that, he would be called out immediately in front of his friends. They are children and they are learning. Why are you so afraid to put your kid in a situation like this?

100% agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so nobody gets their feelings hurt.

+1 bc of snowflakes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it's tacky.

It's a kid's birthday party. It's all tacky!

Or are you one of those parents who rents an all white inflatable bounce castle and color coordinates the party decor to fit the neutral tones of your home's elegant decor?

[Anonymous]

1. It’s boring as heck for everyone but the birthday kid.
2. Venues have a set time limit and gifts take up time kids would rather play.
3. Some gifts are a better fit for the receiver or are more expensive than what other kids can or choose to give. It’s not kind to have kids feel embarrassed or sad if their gift is not received the way they imagined.
4. I have boys and 5-10 yr old boys hyped up on an hour of trampoline park + pizza/cake/fruit punch are like wild hyenas. Even the best behaved kids are going to struggle to sit politely in that scenario. We do “no gift” parties, but if my kids did open presents at the party other kids would likely grab them and play with them. Things would be broken or parts would be lost before the birthday child ever got to enjoy them.

And before some person who hasn’t being around 12-20 9 yr old boys in a group for over a decade comes at me with some drivel about “parents should parent / kids these days” BS - just No. The vast majority of both my son’s friends are well behaved, polite kids 95% of the time, but it’s not fair to kids to put them in a loud, stimulating environment and get them all riled up and then snap your fingers and expect them to sit still and not be grabby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. It’s boring as heck for everyone but the birthday kid.
2. Venues have a set time limit and gifts take up time kids would rather play.
3. Some gifts are a better fit for the receiver or are more expensive than what other kids can or choose to give. It’s not kind to have kids feel embarrassed or sad if their gift is not received the way they imagined.
4. I have boys and 5-10 yr old boys hyped up on an hour of trampoline park + pizza/cake/fruit punch are like wild hyenas. Even the best behaved kids are going to struggle to sit politely in that scenario. We do “no gift” parties, but if my kids did open presents at the party other kids would likely grab them and play with them. Things would be broken or parts would be lost before the birthday child ever got to enjoy them.

And before some person who hasn’t being around 12-20 9 yr old boys in a group for over a decade comes at me with some drivel about “parents should parent / kids these days” BS - just No. The vast majority of both my son’s friends are well behaved, polite kids 95% of the time, but it’s not fair to kids to put them in a loud, stimulating environment and get them all riled up and then snap your fingers and expect them to sit still and not be grabby.

At some point in the future, such as next year or the year after, your turning-10 or turning-11 DS will invite only his friends instead of lots of kids who he only knows slightly. And then they will open gifts after the cake and your DS will thank everyone politely and they will all ooh and ahh and maybe they'll play with or break some of the presents. And they will all have fun doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont because my kid is awful at showing gratitude and I would be embarrassed. Also it would be a comparison game where some people give relatively “lavish” gifts vs others give a ten dollar bill. No need to put it all on display.

What are you doing to correct this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. It’s boring as heck for everyone but the birthday kid.
2. Venues have a set time limit and gifts take up time kids would rather play.
3. Some gifts are a better fit for the receiver or are more expensive than what other kids can or choose to give. It’s not kind to have kids feel embarrassed or sad if their gift is not received the way they imagined.
4. I have boys and 5-10 yr old boys hyped up on an hour of trampoline park + pizza/cake/fruit punch are like wild hyenas. Even the best behaved kids are going to struggle to sit politely in that scenario. We do “no gift” parties, but if my kids did open presents at the party other kids would likely grab them and play with them. Things would be broken or parts would be lost before the birthday child ever got to enjoy them.

And before some person who hasn’t being around 12-20 9 yr old boys in a group for over a decade comes at me with some drivel about “parents should parent / kids these days” BS - just No. The vast majority of both my son’s friends are well behaved, polite kids 95% of the time, but it’s not fair to kids to put them in a loud, stimulating environment and get them all riled up and then snap your fingers and expect them to sit still and not be grabby.

It's often boring even for the birthday kid. I hated doing this as a child.

[Anonymous]

My kids have only been to 2-3 parties where gifts were given. Almost all parties (including the ones we host) in our circle are no gift parties. I love it. No one needs more stuff and there are some lower income kids in my kids’ classes who may not attend if they felt they needed to buy a gift to come. Most kids do bring cards and those are opened and read at the party if there’s time and if there’s not we save them for later. The focus is on playing and eating and talking to friends, not gifts. Much more fun IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. It’s boring as heck for everyone but the birthday kid.
2. Venues have a set time limit and gifts take up time kids would rather play.
3. Some gifts are a better fit for the receiver or are more expensive than what other kids can or choose to give. It’s not kind to have kids feel embarrassed or sad if their gift is not received the way they imagined.
4. I have boys and 5-10 yr old boys hyped up on an hour of trampoline park + pizza/cake/fruit punch are like wild hyenas. Even the best behaved kids are going to struggle to sit politely in that scenario. We do “no gift” parties, but if my kids did open presents at the party other kids would likely grab them and play with them. Things would be broken or parts would be lost before the birthday child ever got to enjoy them.

And before some person who hasn’t being around 12-20 9 yr old boys in a group for over a decade comes at me with some drivel about “parents should parent / kids these days” BS - just No. The vast majority of both my son’s friends are well behaved, polite kids 95% of the time, but it’s not fair to kids to put them in a loud, stimulating environment and get them all riled up and then snap your fingers and expect them to sit still and not be grabby.

It's often boring even for the birthday kid. I hated doing this as a child.

Agree. Adults don’t like to oohh and ahhhh over gifts either. Just let the kids play and enjoy the fun part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont because my kid is awful at showing gratitude and I would be embarrassed. Also it would be a comparison game where some people give relatively “lavish” gifts vs others give a ten dollar bill. No need to put it all on display.

What are you doing to correct this?

Many things, if you must know, but I am not about to test it out in the stressful environment of screaming trampoline birthday chaos.

[Anonymous]

Because it's boring AF. It's bad enough at baby and bridal showers but beyond painful at a kid's party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The tradition is alive and strong

+1

[Anonymous]

I don't like to open gifts in front of everyone. If someone has given $100 worth of gift and someone else has given $5 worth of gift, I don't want either of them to feel awkward.