Kids want to keep the toy kitchen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the expectation that you will keep all the toys as long as possible is unreasonable. Do you all live in large homes? I don't. Our home is 1100 square feet. My kids have a bunch of toys that they sometimes play with but mostly don't anymore, including the play kitchen. They also want a bunch of newer toys, plus as they get older they have developed strong interests in things that take up space as well (art, music, sports).

You can't keep everything.

Some of you are acting like it's some horrible cruelty to ask your kids to prioritize and get rid of some items to make space for other things. You are also acting like "decluttering" is just some silly obsession of some mean mommy who doesn't care about childhood joy. These are both false. Play kitchens take up a ton of space that, in a small house like mine, could be better used for other toys that the kids are more interested in at these older ages. You can't keep everything, or if you do, you can't get anything else. And decluttering is often something parents (let's get real: moms) do to make households function. You can make fun of it, but when you live in a house where no one but you can ever find any thing, and you're late to things all the time because toys, shoes, and other items frequently go missing, you might realize that decluttering is a necessary part of family and household management.

If I were OP, I'd teach my kids who to play cafe in the actual kitchen with real items, and then donate the play kitchen to a family, shelter, or early learning center. The play kitchen is usually among the most in-demand items in a preschool -- give it to kids who are that age and will be thrilled to have one to play with.

True. You can’t keep everything. But the OP arbitrarily decided that this toy — which, presumably, belonged to her kids should go, and set an arbitrary deadline. That’s very different from asking her kids what they were done with, or suggesting that they move the kitchen to another place. It very much is a her-house-her-rules decision— at a point where puberty might be hitting her kids hard, and they’re dealing with other changes that they can’t control. Sure, as the adults, you can do the your-house-your-rules thing, but own it, and own the consequences, some of which may be long term. It’s arbitrary and controlling. As adults, think about what that feels like, and what kinds of responses and defenses might come into play.

This is very different from stating the need for more space in the family room, or the wish to donate toys to a rec center — and allowing the kids to choose what to donate or discard — from what were supposed to be their own possessions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I clicked on this because I saw a used toy kitchen for sale and my kids are 10, 8 and 4.5. I wanted it but wasn’t sure if they’re too old!

OP says, not too old. For the 10-yr old, get a cafe kit so they can talk orders and work wtiht he youngers:

https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-3105102/melissa-doug-star-diner-play-set.jsp?skuid=49990567&CID=shopping30&utm_campaign=PRESCHOOL%20TOYS&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_product=49990567&utm_campaignid=20477191850&CID=shopping30&utm_campaign=SSC&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_campaignid=20477191850&gclid=Cj0KCQiAuqKqBhDxARIsAFZELmKpU78WjPe7cueuA3srunrRV3h8FVVYoObbJZIIA4-Vk0h9_He47NEaAuSwEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

[Anonymous]

Or just an ordering pad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the expectation that you will keep all the toys as long as possible is unreasonable. Do you all live in large homes? I don't. Our home is 1100 square feet. My kids have a bunch of toys that they sometimes play with but mostly don't anymore, including the play kitchen. They also want a bunch of newer toys, plus as they get older they have developed strong interests in things that take up space as well (art, music, sports).

You can't keep everything.

Some of you are acting like it's some horrible cruelty to ask your kids to prioritize and get rid of some items to make space for other things. You are also acting like "decluttering" is just some silly obsession of some mean mommy who doesn't care about childhood joy. These are both false. Play kitchens take up a ton of space that, in a small house like mine, could be better used for other toys that the kids are more interested in at these older ages. You can't keep everything, or if you do, you can't get anything else. And decluttering is often something parents (let's get real: moms) do to make households function. You can make fun of it, but when you live in a house where no one but you can ever find any thing, and you're late to things all the time because toys, shoes, and other items frequently go missing, you might realize that decluttering is a necessary part of family and household management.

If I were OP, I'd teach my kids who to play cafe in the actual kitchen with real items, and then donate the play kitchen to a family, shelter, or early learning center. The play kitchen is usually among the most in-demand items in a preschool -- give it to kids who are that age and will be thrilled to have one to play with.

True. You can’t keep everything. But the OP arbitrarily decided that this toy — which, presumably, belonged to her kids should go, and set an arbitrary deadline. That’s very different from asking her kids what they were done with, or suggesting that they move the kitchen to another place. It very much is a her-house-her-rules decision— at a point where puberty might be hitting her kids hard, and they’re dealing with other changes that they can’t control. Sure, as the adults, you can do the your-house-your-rules thing, but own it, and own the consequences, some of which may be long term. It’s arbitrary and controlling. As adults, think about what that feels like, and what kinds of responses and defenses might come into play.

This is very different from stating the need for more space in the family room, or the wish to donate toys to a rec center — and allowing the kids to choose what to donate or discard — from what were supposed to be their own possessions.

Narrator: OP's kitchen is going to a Head Start program when kids relinquish it. That's how OP is unloading unused toys with their agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want it out by Christmas. One is 10 and one is 13. They DO play with it as do visiting younger kids but I'm in a de-clutter phase and I just want it out. Other than just saying "my house my way" other ideas?

Let them enjoy it a while longer. They'll lose interest soon enough and you can get rid of it then.

This. My kids finally agreed to get rid of it and a lot of other kid stuff because they wanted an air hockey table in the basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the expectation that you will keep all the toys as long as possible is unreasonable. Do you all live in large homes? I don't. Our home is 1100 square feet. My kids have a bunch of toys that they sometimes play with but mostly don't anymore, including the play kitchen. They also want a bunch of newer toys, plus as they get older they have developed strong interests in things that take up space as well (art, music, sports).

You can't keep everything.

Some of you are acting like it's some horrible cruelty to ask your kids to prioritize and get rid of some items to make space for other things. You are also acting like "decluttering" is just some silly obsession of some mean mommy who doesn't care about childhood joy. These are both false. Play kitchens take up a ton of space that, in a small house like mine, could be better used for other toys that the kids are more interested in at these older ages. You can't keep everything, or if you do, you can't get anything else. And decluttering is often something parents (let's get real: moms) do to make households function. You can make fun of it, but when you live in a house where no one but you can ever find any thing, and you're late to things all the time because toys, shoes, and other items frequently go missing, you might realize that decluttering is a necessary part of family and household management.

If I were OP, I'd teach my kids who to play cafe in the actual kitchen with real items, and then donate the play kitchen to a family, shelter, or early learning center. The play kitchen is usually among the most in-demand items in a preschool -- give it to kids who are that age and will be thrilled to have one to play with.

True. You can’t keep everything. But the OP arbitrarily decided that this toy — which, presumably, belonged to her kids should go, and set an arbitrary deadline. That’s very different from asking her kids what they were done with, or suggesting that they move the kitchen to another place. It very much is a her-house-her-rules decision— at a point where puberty might be hitting her kids hard, and they’re dealing with other changes that they can’t control. Sure, as the adults, you can do the your-house-your-rules thing, but own it, and own the consequences, some of which may be long term. It’s arbitrary and controlling. As adults, think about what that feels like, and what kinds of responses and defenses might come into play.

This is very different from stating the need for more space in the family room, or the wish to donate toys to a rec center — and allowing the kids to choose what to donate or discard — from what were supposed to be their own possessions.

Even when you ask, or go be them the choice is f what to discard, some kids are natural how does and will not want to give anything up.

My DD doesn't even voluntarily return library books if she really likes them. Ad yes, we buy many of the books she loves. If we bought them all bed be buried in books.

Sometimes you do have to say "Look, it's time to say goodbye to the toy." Yes they "belong" to your kids but if you have a kid who wants to keep every toy forever, sometimes you have to be the one to say no.

There are good and bad ways to do it. It's good to give kids some agency over their lives but also they are children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let them keep it!

+1

I can understand this and have gone through similar with large toys.

This time is fleeting. Enjoy the present. They’ll be gone soon enough and you don’t want to have regrets with what you chose to do.

Sending you peace!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aww, OP, this is sweet. Hold onto that glimpse of childhood before they are 100% surly teens!

I'd say keep it too but not all teens are surly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want it out by Christmas. One is 10 and one is 13. They DO play with it as do visiting younger kids but I'm in a de-clutter phase and I just want it out. Other than just saying "my house my way" other ideas?

Let them enjoy it a while longer. They'll lose interest soon enough and you can get rid of it then.

This. My kids finally agreed to get rid of it and a lot of other kid stuff because they wanted an air hockey table in the basement.

+1. My younger DD is a very sweet and sensitive child and she loves memories. Its very hard for her to get rid of things and she keep them longer than other kids might but she does eventually come around on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. The play kitchen is in the dining room sort of out of the way but I'd rather not see it. My kids played a sort of "marco polo" today. It was so cute. I'm sure you don't care but I really love it when they play together and those times are rare.

Yes, so then why on earth would you want to get rid of it? You are a mess, OP.

[Anonymous]

My kids are in college, but I still keep a small toy box in the corner of the living room for friends who stop by with little kids. When my kids were both home last summer, I found them going through the bag of pretend food, reminiscing about when they'd play restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the expectation that you will keep all the toys as long as possible is unreasonable. Do you all live in large homes? I don't. Our home is 1100 square feet. My kids have a bunch of toys that they sometimes play with but mostly don't anymore, including the play kitchen. They also want a bunch of newer toys, plus as they get older they have developed strong interests in things that take up space as well (art, music, sports).

You can't keep everything.

Some of you are acting like it's some horrible cruelty to ask your kids to prioritize and get rid of some items to make space for other things. You are also acting like "decluttering" is just some silly obsession of some mean mommy who doesn't care about childhood joy. These are both false. Play kitchens take up a ton of space that, in a small house like mine, could be better used for other toys that the kids are more interested in at these older ages. You can't keep everything, or if you do, you can't get anything else. And decluttering is often something parents (let's get real: moms) do to make households function. You can make fun of it, but when you live in a house where no one but you can ever find any thing, and you're late to things all the time because toys, shoes, and other items frequently go missing, you might realize that decluttering is a necessary part of family and household management.

If I were OP, I'd teach my kids who to play cafe in the actual kitchen with real items, and then donate the play kitchen to a family, shelter, or early learning center. The play kitchen is usually among the most in-demand items in a preschool -- give it to kids who are that age and will be thrilled to have one to play with.

True. You can’t keep everything. But the OP arbitrarily decided that this toy — which, presumably, belonged to her kids should go, and set an arbitrary deadline. That’s very different from asking her kids what they were done with, or suggesting that they move the kitchen to another place. It very much is a her-house-her-rules decision— at a point where puberty might be hitting her kids hard, and they’re dealing with other changes that they can’t control. Sure, as the adults, you can do the your-house-your-rules thing, but own it, and own the consequences, some of which may be long term. It’s arbitrary and controlling. As adults, think about what that feels like, and what kinds of responses and defenses might come into play.

This is very different from stating the need for more space in the family room, or the wish to donate toys to a rec center — and allowing the kids to choose what to donate or discard — from what were supposed to be their own possessions.

Even when you ask, or go be them the choice is f what to discard, some kids are natural how does and will not want to give anything up.

My DD doesn't even voluntarily return library books if she really likes them. Ad yes, we buy many of the books she loves. If we bought them all bed be buried in books.

Sometimes you do have to say "Look, it's time to say goodbye to the toy." Yes they "belong" to your kids but if you have a kid who wants to keep every toy forever, sometimes you have to be the one to say no.

There are good and bad ways to do it. It's good to give kids some agency over their lives but also they are children.

But the OP hasn’t said that the kids “want to keep every toy forever”. She’s said that they want to keep this particular toy, that they still play with it, and that it seems to bond two kids of different ages when they play together. I’m glad you put “belong” in quotes.