Iphones for 6th graders

[Anonymous]

I do plan on a phone at age 12 v beginning of grade for DD. Not that all her friends will have as she's tech older but I want to teach her responsibility for it. I think parents that hardcore say no and wait until a kid is as old as possible to receive one are lazy and nuts. We live in the AI age. How much tech are we all using? Instead of limiting the inevitable, train the kid earlier to know the limits of tech. At age 12, if your kid won't listen to you about phone rules, your are done for LOL I mean if they have any respect for you, at this age, you should be able to discuss your expectations for them and agree on some reasonable plan together. The fact that so many parents don't want to goo ok this way is a symptom of how bad our society has gotten.

[Anonymous]

bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you keep track of your kids if they are 11-12 years? That's the primary reason I am considering a phone for our almost 12 year old boy

I don’t need to “keep track” of them. Just like your parents didn’t need to keep track of you

Exactly. No one “kept track” of kids before about 2015. Kids are more depressed, anxious, fat, and stupid now than ever before. Be careful with the phones.

News flash - they are who they are because parents don't want to face it and try to change them to be better. I have much greater confidence in the kids whose parents allow phones than not because those are the parents who actually trust their kids. I don't want to be with the parents who take everything away from their 12 yr old kids because THEY can't manage their kids!!!

[Anonymous]

My kids got iphones at 10, not the latest but decent ones. They were out far away on their bikes a lot, carpooling for various sports, and hanging out at the pool without parents so we wanted to reach them. We put a bunch of controls on them for screen time, they can't have contact we don't approve, no apps we don't approve, etc. It has worked out well so far and it's been a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:bad idea.

Nope. My 2 are great. My DS at 14 is good and DD will get one at 12. I have every confidence in her. They are both A students as well. You have to be able to work with your kids who are not babies at 12. It's a damn phone. Not a device that's going to wreck havoc. There's a lot of ways to track and limit usage at least on Apple. They aren't perfect but they are fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bad idea.

Nope. My 2 are great. My DS at 14 is good and DD will get one at 12. I have every confidence in her. They are both A students as well. You have to be able to work with your kids who are not babies at 12. It's a damn phone. Not a device that's going to wreck havoc. There's a lot of ways to track and limit usage at least on Apple. They aren't perfect but they are fine.

Don't ignore the research about social media and girls' mental health. Boys interact with this technology in a different way than girls. Hopefully your DD will be fine, but don't stick your head in the sand and think that she'll be 100% immune from the ways in which social media can be very destructive for girls' self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks all for the feedback. I am really worried that once I get my kids iphones, they will become even addicted to the internet than they already are. They have laptops, ipads and now they want phones. They don't really need it, they just see that everyone around them has one....

An iPhone does not have to mean the internet. Our kids have internet access through the damn school-provided iPads, not through the phones that we provided.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely limit the time they are on and what they can access. A phone with the Internet is letting the have access to anyone in the world and everything out there. No social media. A flip phone is fine for calling mom to say there is a change of plans. Too bad about what other kids say they have. This is a public health problem for so many kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do plan on a phone at age 12 v beginning of grade for DD. Not that all her friends will have as she's tech older but I want to teach her responsibility for it. I think parents that hardcore say no and wait until a kid is as old as possible to receive one are lazy and nuts. We live in the AI age. How much tech are we all using? Instead of limiting the inevitable, train the kid earlier to know the limits of tech. At age 12, if your kid won't listen to you about phone rules, your are done for LOL I mean if they have any respect for you, at this age, you should be able to discuss your expectations for them and agree on some reasonable plan together. The fact that so many parents don't want to goo ok this way is a symptom of how bad our society has gotten.

I think you are naive and nuts yourself if you believe all children are ready at a younger age just because your kids may be. My almost 12 year old son is very much still a child and so are his friends. They’d rather ride bikes, race, make silly noises, and tell the lamest jokes than play video games or hang inside on a screen. He pushes limits with rocks, electricity, fire, and even a walkie talkie. So no, he’s not ready for a phone, probably wont be for a long while, and that’s totally normal and ok too. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Our 6th grader just got one as an early Christmas present. It was one of our old iPhone 11's and we already had a phone line for her for a Gizmo watch. Cost us absolutely nothing. Honestly, DD still hasn't gotten used to having it and most of the time it's not even charged lol. It's locked down and at our house can only access the kids wifi network. I'm sure she'll figure that out at some point, but she's a generally great kid, rule follower, etc.

[Anonymous]

Our 6th grade and the 12ish girls in her friend group all have iPhones (mostly old ones). I monitor closely and also use it to track her movements.

[Anonymous]

Social media and phones are two separate issues. As parents you control what goes on the phone and you have the apps store password protected so they cannot download without your permission, have the parental controls on and monitor the phone. Its very handy for coordinating things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do plan on a phone at age 12 v beginning of grade for DD. Not that all her friends will have as she's tech older but I want to teach her responsibility for it. I think parents that hardcore say no and wait until a kid is as old as possible to receive one are lazy and nuts. We live in the AI age. How much tech are we all using? Instead of limiting the inevitable, train the kid earlier to know the limits of tech. At age 12, if your kid won't listen to you about phone rules, your are done for LOL I mean if they have any respect for you, at this age, you should be able to discuss your expectations for them and agree on some reasonable plan together. The fact that so many parents don't want to goo ok this way is a symptom of how bad our society has gotten.

I think you are naive and nuts yourself if you believe all children are ready at a younger age just because your kids may be. My almost 12 year old son is very much still a child and so are his friends. They’d rather ride bikes, race, make silly noises, and tell the lamest jokes than play video games or hang inside on a screen. He pushes limits with rocks, electricity, fire, and even a walkie talkie. So no, he’s not ready for a phone, probably wont be for a long while, and that’s totally normal and ok too. Good luck to you.

That is so great that 12 year olds are still being kids. That seems to not be the norm with kids anymore. Kids are growing up too fast these days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No phone till 8th. Apple Watch works fine

This. Please, 6th is too early. Get them an apple watch if you need them to have a way to get in touch.

And please stop letting your 6th graders have snapchat and tiktok and insta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 6th grade and the 12ish girls in her friend group all have iPhones (mostly old ones). I monitor closely and also use it to track her movements.

Where do you live? I’m in Vienna and out of the 15 boys in my son’s 6th grade friend group, only one has a phone. Everyone typically gets one summer going into 7th grade.