Do you worry about your children experiencing downward mobility?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worry more about the planet burning up during their lifetimes.

I worry about global governmental instability. We're already headed that direction.

Agree with both of these. If not our kids, then our grandkids. Part of me feels like we should be accumulating wealth as aggressively as possible to protect against future scarcity and instability. The other part of me knows it's all so uncertain and likely it will be what it will be, planning and preparation aside. Raising kids to not be too consumeristic and to live with less will probably be beneficial so that they don't FEEL such a big decline if/when things get more expensive and harder to acquire.

I think one thing to consider is steering kids into AI-proof professions. I think it's totally plausible that the next generation could see massive white collar layoffs as AI replaces a lot of the "thinking" professions. Better to be lower SES and stable, than high SES and unemployable midlife.

I agree with you about "steering into AI proof jobs. My daughter is 9 and I'm doing everything to keep up her creativity and teaching her to work with her hands. It's all fun and games for now - classes about archery, sewing, making. But I hope that in the long run this will give her avenues outside AI.

[Anonymous]

No, I'm not worried about it.

DH and I were struggling until we turned a corner right around 40. A lot of things came together at once (also, no more daycare costs).

Not everything comes early or easy. Things take time, persistence, and patience. Sometimes you don't get everything and that's fine too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, it's a thing. College was a rude awakening for me. At 45, I'm finally back to where my parents were when I left home.

Weren't your parents probably about 45 when you left home?
Where do people get this idea that their 22 year olds should be living the same way as their parents are in midlife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you worry about your children not being able to maintain the standard of living they have as adults? How do you help them so they don’t fall down SES?

I do but I know that if they do, its going to be a choice they'll make knowingly because they've different life philosophy. I also know that they can change their finances it if it became important to them. Mostly, my wish for them is to be happy and content and live their lives on their own terms, not my terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, it's a thing. College was a rude awakening for me. At 45, I'm finally back to where my parents were when I left home.

Weren't your parents probably about 45 when you left home?
Where do people get this idea that their 22 year olds should be living the same way as their parents are in midlife?

This^.

[Anonymous]

We only had one kid. We can support him as much as needed to maintain a quality of life that we wouldn't be able to do with 2, 3, 4 kids. This was intentional.

[Anonymous]

Both of my kids have medical issues. I work to ensure that they have a safety net in case they cannot spend years at the grindstone.

[Anonymous]

As the parent of two young adults/recent grads, I have been a bit surprised at the amount of guidance they have sought from DH and me re: career coaching/strategies. We were extremely hands off in HS/College (I never once looked up grades or got involved on any level etc). But the career thing has def been where they both actively sought advice and guidance from DH and me and as a result both are set up to exceed DH and I financially very quickly if they choose to (Son is a new Big Law associate and daughter works in a lucrative sales-oriented job). We def. coached them along the way with their summer job/internship, grad school and professional choices, how to handle office politics, negative/toxic energy from co-workers etc. and I think some of our advice really helped them figure out the nuances of office culture. Not sure what I'm saying here except I'm not worried about my own - they can be upwardly mobile if they want to be but it takes way more than a degree to get there. People skills matter so much in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, it's a thing. College was a rude awakening for me. At 45, I'm finally back to where my parents were when I left home.

Weren't your parents probably about 45 when you left home?
Where do people get this idea that their 22 year olds should be living the same way as their parents are in midlife?

Like most problems in modern society, I blame social media. Our friend's daughter moved back home with her parents after college not because she couldn't afford her own place, but because (and I'm serious here) she couldn't afford an apartment and furniture that she could boast about on social media.

Gen X and older Millennials didn't have an expectation that their first apartment could be featured on an episode of Cribs (to give an age-appropriate reference).

[Anonymous]

I do not worry about it but, statistically speaking, my kids won't be as successful as I am. And that's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I don't borrow problems. Also, I don't think it's the end of the world if they don't have everything I have. If they're upper middle class instead of whatever you call what I am, so what? And if they're middle class? So what. If they are happy being a public school teacher married to another public school teacher, then that's what is best for them. Money isn't everything.

What if they are working paycheck to paycheck and are 1 paycheck from being homeless? But at least they're "happy"?

Get a better job. Or move.

[Anonymous]

Yes - with climate change, I believe my kids are going to have a much worse quality of life than their father and I have had; and their own kids if any, will be even worse off.

It is super depressing, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

I don't really worry about it. I am not spoon feeding them everything and I hope they learn responsibility and get jobs.

[Anonymous]

If your children don’t understand they will have to work their own way up as you did, you are doing it wrong.

[Anonymous]

I think some kids may think they are going to roll out of their parents' houses and into houses that look like their parents' houses. My housing was pretty grim in my 20s and early 30s.

Give the kids time. They'll work it out.