DD Average Student - Looking for H.S. - Finishing School Vibe is Fine

[Anonymous]

Boarding school, but Foxcroft in Middleburg, VA. She could come home every weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t undersell you kid. She’s young and can develop academic interests and motivations. Even if she’s not an academic star, she’s exactly the type to focus and excel when she starts to put together how educational and social skills fit together in a career.

+1 I know it's not your intention OP but your post has an undertone of "this one won't amount to much, best to just get her through the motions" and that's a heck of a mentality to settle on about your 14 year old. Part of her "lack of spark" might be the lack of spark you seem to have about her as a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t undersell you kid. She’s young and can develop academic interests and motivations. Even if she’s not an academic star, she’s exactly the type to focus and excel when she starts to put together how educational and social skills fit together in a career.

+1 I know it's not your intention OP but your post has an undertone of "this one won't amount to much, best to just get her through the motions" and that's a heck of a mentality to settle on about your 14 year old. Part of her "lack of spark" might be the lack of spark you seem to have about her as a person.

It's ok to be realistic.

OP seems more realistic than most parents dreaming of the stars. She's looking for a solid school where her child can thrive without needing to be a high academic performer. Sometimes that really is what is needed to foster confidence and capability to do well in life. Crushing a child is being unrealistic and trying to shoehorn her into a wholly inappropriate school because you wish your child can do much better, academically, then she really is able to.

All the nice but not academically stellar schools mentioned on here will do exactly what OP is looking for: provide a comfortable, nurturing environment where the child will get a good education without being crushed by unreasonable demands, and if child turns out to be capable of doing more, the schools will also be there to help her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have her shadow schools early to see if she likes any of them. Good Counsel, Sandy Spring and Holy Child would be ones that comes to mind given your location.
Get her a neuropsych and see if she has ADHD or is anything else is happening. ADHD is commonly undiagnosed in girls until middle / high school

Hi - thank you. We've actually had that done. She has no diagnosable issues. I think generally, that she is not naturally highly intelligent/smart and then does not have the motivation it would take to compensate for this. So we are where we are - I just need her to graduate high school and get through college.

I'm going to throw out there that you might not be serving her well with this expectation. She sounds like a girl who might thrive in a trade school like environment that teaches a more hands-on profession. My of my nieces is much like you describe and is a successful hair stylist and esthetician, for example. She got through private high school with a solid B average but college was just overwhelming and she was miserable. She dropped out after a semester and is much happier having gone to a high-end "beauty school" for lack of a better term. There are lots of other fields like this where she could be successful and make use of her innate talents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at SSFS. Unfortunately many of the other schools mentioned may be out of reach with her grades and lack of extracurriculars.

Holton and Maderia probably are. But the other boarding school recs are good ones. Visi may be doable. Someone does have to be the bottom 25%! And it's not always a negative thing (knowing plenty of "bottom 25%" from my private school days who ended up extremely successful due to personality and work ethic).

OK, but usually being the bottom 25% is no fun. Everything's taught at a higher level, so you need to put in a lot more effort and work harder to achieve the results that you'd have obtained if you were closer to the 50%, which means you have less time for the non-academic areas where you actually do well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t undersell you kid. She’s young and can develop academic interests and motivations. Even if she’s not an academic star, she’s exactly the type to focus and excel when she starts to put together how educational and social skills fit together in a career.

+1 I know it's not your intention OP but your post has an undertone of "this one won't amount to much, best to just get her through the motions" and that's a heck of a mentality to settle on about your 14 year old. Part of her "lack of spark" might be the lack of spark you seem to have about her as a person.

This is OP. Nope - not it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Madeira is not that competitive. Ease up.

Madeira has more of a range of girls. It would be expensive for boarding. However it seems like the OP's daughter might struggle with the weird schedule.

It has gotten a little more popular in the past ten years, but might still be doable admissions wise for OP's daughter.

I’m not sure what your experience with Madeira is, maybe you can share it? I know the school and the type of girls they admit. They are not admitting B/C students with no hook. Not even for boarding. They are more flexible with grades but then the girls have something else - a dancer that competes nationally, the girl that does community theater, enters writing contests, etc. I’m not trying to boost the school, it’s just a fact. Luckily, OP will have the guidance of her K-8 to help her choose appropriate schools.

+1. I’m not sure who these posters are that are suggesting Madeira… a C student with no demonstrated interests is not going to be accepted. I’m not trying to be ugly, but this is just a fact. Even an all B student would have a tough time getting admitted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boarding school, but Foxcroft in Middleburg, VA. She could come home every weekend.

No I would not recommend boarding school its like sending them off to college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boarding school, but Foxcroft in Middleburg, VA. She could come home every weekend.

"Well Larla, we've given you plenty of chances to excel in a sport or find a passion for volunteerism. You've done this to yourself; you can't live with us anymore. We wouldn't want you rubbing off on your more exceptional siblings. You can come back home when you've learned how to land a rich husband."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boarding school, but Foxcroft in Middleburg, VA. She could come home every weekend.

"Well Larla, we've given you plenty of chances to excel in a sport or find a passion for volunteerism. You've done this to yourself; you can't live with us anymore. We wouldn't want you rubbing off on your more exceptional siblings. You can come back home when you've learned how to land a rich husband."

What a horrible response. Just because you disagree with BS there is no need for you to put your values on someone else. No one but you is making up this story in their head.

--not the PP that suggested BS; just tired of the BS bashing because it doesn't work for your family.

[Anonymous]

I’ll just say that I’m glad you have realistic expectations for your daughter, and you seem to care immensely about her happiness.

Signed a B/C student with no extracurriculars who went on to have a successful career in sales

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd recommend either Holton Arms or Visi. Strong academics but both clearly have some below average girls who are there for whatever reason. I wouldn't send her somewhere like NCS though.

Total BS. My dad went to Holton + then HYP. Holton is a grind and harder than most colleges.

[Anonymous]

^daughter

[Anonymous]

I am afraid you aren’t getting very good answers here, OP. The PP’s talking about “when I went to school” are really of no use. Just like the college admissions landscape is vastly different than 10 years ago, so is the DMV private school scene. During COVID (and after), a lot more kids went private. I would start talking to the parents at your DD’s school to get their thoughts on what siblings and friends of friends did for HS for their child with similar stats. Good luck. Your DD sounds like a really sweet kid.