"Too far to drive"

[Anonymous]

If you really want to drive to see them, leave at 5am. There’s no one on the the road, and the trip is much faster. My teen hated this, so I stopped for a few years. She moved out, and I’m back to early morning drives. Trips are far more manageable when little ones are asleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are your ILs? You haven't told us and you dropped the lede on the medical SN child.

A medical SN child that has to pack their own devices!! WTF?!?!

Right? The child forgot their life saving device. Not the parents, naturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 hours is too long to drive for most older folks. Heck, I don't think I could drive 8 hours, and I'm in my 50s.

Fwiw, my parents live a 2.5-hour drive away, not 5-8, and it's too long for them to drive, even though they drive 2.5-hours to their beach house. They say they can't deal with the highway/95 or unfamiliar backroads. They could take the train, but they don't do that either. It is what it is. They came down when my oldest was born. She's a tween now.

8 hours is too long for a 50 year old? What?

It’s more convenient for them if you drive. Whatever. Drop the rope. I woukd let them know they are welcome to visit and repeat as needed.

An 8-hour drive is too long for this 50-something. YMMV.

DH and I are not yet 50 and we both hate long road trips, driving 8 hours in 1 day is a no go for both of us. Physically could we do it, sure, but neither of us have any desire to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are your ILs? You haven't told us and you dropped the lede on the medical SN child.

A medical SN child that has to pack their own devices!! WTF?!?!

Right? The child forgot their life saving device. Not the parents, naturally.

And the children are SCREAMING in the Volvo. Shrieking for 8 hours, nonstop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are your ILs? You haven't told us and you dropped the lede on the medical SN child.

A medical SN child that has to pack their own devices!! WTF?!?!

Right? The child forgot their life saving device. Not the parents, naturally.

And the children are SCREAMING in the Volvo. Shrieking for 8 hours, nonstop.

Oh calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a nice AirBnb or hotel to stay and meet in the middle, for a weekend. They drive half the distance. You drive half the distance. Also DH discusses with them - he'd really like any inheritance in the form of: airfare to visit them, airfare they spend to visit you. An occasional trip where family meets somewhere else.

At 60-70 yrs old, road trips that DH and I use to drive in 1 day, we now take 3 days.

This is too sensible. There's no drama or blame attached to this solution so I doubt if it will be considered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are your ILs? You haven't told us and you dropped the lede on the medical SN child.

A medical SN child that has to pack their own devices!! WTF?!?!

Right? The child forgot their life saving device. Not the parents, naturally.

And the children are SCREAMING in the Volvo. Shrieking for 8 hours, nonstop.

Maybe the medical device is duct tape to stop the screaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are your ILs? You haven't told us and you dropped the lede on the medical SN child.

A medical SN child that has to pack their own devices!! WTF?!?!

Right? The child forgot their life saving device. Not the parents, naturally.

I read this as "the kid left it in the back and we need to pull over". I hope that they didn't waste 1-2 hours to go back for this. Everything forgotten can be bought, except medicine. That's always the most important.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you get out of this visit, op - yay!

To people saying she should travel to them - um nope. Not if they're able bodied and can travel elsewhere. It's their priorities. She went once and it's their turn to travel. It's much harder to care for young kids in homes that usually aren't young kid friendly, harder to keep kids on sleep schedules not in their own rooms, and use up vacation time of working parents. If they want to make it happen, they will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They probably want to limit their time with their sourpuss DIL and the out-of-control children.

Hi Crazy Mil. You need a job..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be clear - its a 5 hour drive that takes us 8 hours because we have to stop frequently with the kids. My medical special needs kids forgot an essential medical device, baby needs to be changed, someone needs to pee.

My toddler doesn't like driving in the car so even with an iPad it's a very long drive.

My in laws don't have arthritis and have no problem driving 8+ hours to their favorite vacation spot.

If you are regularly taking 8 hours to make a 5 hours trip then you need to plan better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 hours is too long to drive for most older folks. Heck, I don't think I could drive 8 hours, and I'm in my 50s.

Fwiw, my parents live a 2.5-hour drive away, not 5-8, and it's too long for them to drive, even though they drive 2.5-hours to their beach house. They say they can't deal with the highway/95 or unfamiliar backroads. They could take the train, but they don't do that either. It is what it is. They came down when my oldest was born. She's a tween now.

8 hours is too long for a 50 year old? What?

It’s more convenient for them if you drive. Whatever. Drop the rope. I woukd let them know they are welcome to visit and repeat as needed.

An 8-hour drive is too long for this 50-something. YMMV.

I am always surprised at how many people on DCUM hate road trips. Maybe because DH and I grew up with them, but we both (mid and upper 50’s) regularly take 8+ hour road trips and enjoy them. Our kids grew up with us driving to New England several times a year so they think nothing of them now that they’re young adults.

Same. I grew up doing road trips and do them with my kids. It's a lot of fun and in many ways less stressful than air travel.

[Anonymous]

People have grown so soft over the years. Whining about a 5 hour car ride in a climate-controlled SUV supplied with snacks and chain restaurants at every exit.

Families used to take over a year or more traveling the Oregon Trail. Hardtack, buffalo chips, and giving birth to babies along the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:driving with dimming senses, slower reaction times, and weakening bladder/bowels isn't the same as driving with 2 kids.

Osteoarthritis, pain, trouble concentrating, staying alert...

OP, 8 hours is too long a drive for anyone esp anyone approaching or older than 60.
I wouldn’t do it with 2 kids either. Sounds like they have good intentions - they want to see grandchildren.
Not all grandparents are so engaged, including my parents - just not interested, wouldn’t even drive an hour to see grandkids. But would drive an hour to see their friends.

Be grateful they love their grandkids. I feel you’re lucky.

Approaching or over 60? I think you mean 75 or 80.

m
Seriously. WTF.

[Anonymous]

AT 63 I drove solo from Seattle to DC in 3.5 days, No problem.