Is it true that 90% of women aim for the top 5% of men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I don't think this is true. At least, I don't think women agree on what the top "5%" of men is. Everyone has different preferences and priorities for finding a partner.

I also think that most people (men and women) have at least a general sense of who is in and out of their "league" and they mostly play within it.

This. I think most women who aim for the 5% of men end up single for a very long time.

[Anonymous]

Yes, they aim for the top one percent, because getting a one percent man is like winning the lottery. It's a lifetime of high income and bragging rights. Beyond that it seems that women consume too much media and believe that there are many available top one percent men, and that they are entitled to him and his money.

As a man, my chances of winning the lottery are about one in 350 million. And I'm a top 5 percenter myself.

[Anonymous]

What does that even mean? What is a top 5% man? *starts trying to think about what % her husband is*

[Anonymous]

Was feeling down today until I read this post lol. I married my 6'7" husband when we were both poor and uneducated. We went to college and he makes 6 figures now. Everyone wants a tall guy but they die younger than shorter men so there is that to think about. 😟

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think more than 10% of women have poor self esteem. They go for bad boys or men they think they can fix. So, I’d say not an entirely accurate statistic. Men are more likely to only want the top women, imo.

Top men don't care about a woman's money or job. Her job doesn't even factor in since he makes great money. He doesn't need or want her money. He only cares that she is fit, friendly, feminine, cooperative instead of combative, can make decent conversation but knows when to be quiet, shows discretion, would make a great mother, chooses her words with others very carefully and won't embarrass him in front of his friends, family, and colleagues. Also helps if she has shown care and loyalty in past relationships and has done an honest self assessment of her own strengths and weaknesses. That's it. He has very high standards for a wife. Not many women can meet it. It's a very high bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think more than 10% of women have poor self esteem. They go for bad boys or men they think they can fix. So, I’d say not an entirely accurate statistic. Men are more likely to only want the top women, imo.

Top men don't care about a woman's money or job. Her job doesn't even factor in since he makes great money. He doesn't need or want her money. He only cares that she is fit, friendly, feminine, cooperative instead of combative, can make decent conversation but knows when to be quiet, shows discretion, would make a great mother, chooses her words with others very carefully and won't embarrass him in front of his friends, family, and colleagues. Also helps if she has shown care and loyalty in past relationships and has done an honest self assessment of her own strengths and weaknesses. That's it. He has very high standards for a wife. Not many women can meet it. It's a very high bar.

Yet somehow all the women in my social circle who married 1-5% men have degrees from top schools and at least started out making great money themselves and/or came from great money. Maybe you're from an older generation? I'm a millennial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have heard this a lot from my adult daughter and her friends. Any truth to this?

An average woman may have crushes out of her league but she rarely aims for someone out of her league. How our society is conditioned (its changing but hasn't changed), an average woman is probably better off with men who sees her as his better half so aiming equally or 10% range is likely a better long term strategy.

Actually modern men aren't aiming as high as men historically did. They are skeptic and playing safer because relationship world can be a landmine.

That is totally BS. Many average and below women go after men way out of their league. I had male friends who modeled and others who came from very wealthy well know families. The amount of women(from below average to top of the pack) who threw themselves at these guys was amazing. Now I do not think any of those women thought of themselves as average or below…lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Beauty is a smaller part of the package then it used to be. Attraction is a mix of beauty, personality, compatibility, fitness, intellect, accomplishment and money etc.

Tell that to people who use Tinder, Bumble, match.com, or Jdate online dating apps. Beauty is the first thing they pay attention to, not personality, compatibility, fitness, intellect, accomplishment and money. You will not be able to get a date if you can't pass the beauty test first.

Looks make eyes linger for browsing but compatibility and attraction gets marriage licenses. Times have changed, even trophy wife/husband looks have to check enough boxes on the list before crossing the alter.

[Anonymous]

Compatibility ensures long term happiness way after honeymoon phase is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think more than 10% of women have poor self esteem. They go for bad boys or men they think they can fix. So, I’d say not an entirely accurate statistic. Men are more likely to only want the top women, imo.

Top men don't care about a woman's money or job. Her job doesn't even factor in since he makes great money. He doesn't need or want her money. He only cares that she is fit, friendly, feminine, cooperative instead of combative, can make decent conversation but knows when to be quiet, shows discretion, would make a great mother, chooses her words with others very carefully and won't embarrass him in front of his friends, family, and colleagues. Also helps if she has shown care and loyalty in past relationships and has done an honest self assessment of her own strengths and weaknesses. That's it. He has very high standards for a wife. Not many women can meet it. It's a very high bar.

Yet somehow all the women in my social circle who married 1-5% men have degrees from top schools and at least started out making great money themselves and/or came from great money. Maybe you're from an older generation? I'm a millennial.

DP SAHM who did nothing in their “career” do not count. There are a boatloads of men who graduated from top school and never break into the top 10%. It is not rational to think any woman(or man) with a degree from a top university will somehow have a great career. Most do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Smart women marry well. They are strategic about it. The bad news is that while in the past it was very feasible for a dumb blonde to marry a top 5% man, these days the top 5% men marry top 5% women.

If you're top 10, focus on the top 10, and so forth. People really do pair up with similar mates. Disparities is more myth than reality, life ain't a romance novel.

So how do you explain guys that marry girls they met via insta?

[Anonymous]

This thread is bonkers. Top men, 5%, 10%, average woman. These metrics getting thrown around like there is an agreed upon scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think more than 10% of women have poor self esteem. They go for bad boys or men they think they can fix. So, I’d say not an entirely accurate statistic. Men are more likely to only want the top women, imo.

Top men don't care about a woman's money or job. Her job doesn't even factor in since he makes great money. He doesn't need or want her money. He only cares that she is fit, friendly, feminine, cooperative instead of combative, can make decent conversation but knows when to be quiet, shows discretion, would make a great mother, chooses her words with others very carefully and won't embarrass him in front of his friends, family, and colleagues. Also helps if she has shown care and loyalty in past relationships and has done an honest self assessment of her own strengths and weaknesses. That's it. He has very high standards for a wife. Not many women can meet it. It's a very high bar.

Times've changed. Era of sailors marrying pretty girls they met in bar before going to war is gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is bonkers. Top men, 5%, 10%, average woman. These metrics getting thrown around like there is an agreed upon scale.

Thread sure s bonkers but I doubt anyone is trusting random posters as gifted data scientists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Top men don't care about a woman's money or job. Her job doesn't even factor in since he makes great money. He doesn't need or want her money. He only cares that she is fit, friendly, feminine, cooperative instead of combative, can make decent conversation but knows when to be quiet, shows discretion, would make a great mother, chooses her words with others very carefully and won't embarrass him in front of his friends, family, and colleagues. Also helps if she has shown care and loyalty in past relationships and has done an honest self assessment of her own strengths and weaknesses. That's it. He has very high standards for a wife. Not many women can meet it. It's a very high bar.

This is 100% accurate. The CEO at my company is a Harvard grad with a U. of Chicago MBA, and his salary is 4M+ per year. His wife is a Program Manager at the IMF and her salary is 130K/year. The CFO at my company has an MBA from Stanford with a salary of 2M per year. His wife is a manager of corporate purchasing at the same company and her salary is 120K/year. In both cases, their spouses are absolutely beautiful and they have all the qualities mentioned above. Like PP mentioned, successful men don't have about their spouses money because they make their own money.