Is it weird for a speech therapist to ask to meet alone with my 9-year-old right after he begins treatment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Typically the kids don't do as well with the parents in the room, which is why the therapists want them out. Most places either have you come in 5 minutes at the end to talk about what was done.

I was in speech therapy starting at age 5, and this is how it was done.

[Anonymous]

I sat in every single one of my child's OT sessions from age 4 to age 6. I quit doing it when he switched to a group because obviously that was different. I learned so much sitting in and the OT talked about how glad she was that I could do it (often people brought other kids and could not). It was also how I figured out our first OT was not a good match. She was so low energy and boring I knew I needed someone else.

He's also had several rounds of PT (between ages 5 - 13) and I sit in those as well. Like OT, the sessions are focused on setting up his home program. I can't imagine her trying to explain everything in 5 minutes at the end.

I didn't go in for my child's speech therapy, but we used a community provider who worked with him in class, at lunch, or on the playground, so his teachers were always around and could see what she was doing. She also sent me very detailed notes. I can see how office work would be appropriate for articulation and building vocabulary, though I don't know why a parent wouldn't sit in unless the child found it distracting or was having trouble complying.

[Anonymous]

It’s weird because your kid is 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sat in every single one of my child's OT sessions from age 4 to age 6. I quit doing it when he switched to a group because obviously that was different. I learned so much sitting in and the OT talked about how glad she was that I could do it (often people brought other kids and could not). It was also how I figured out our first OT was not a good match. She was so low energy and boring I knew I needed someone else.

He's also had several rounds of PT (between ages 5 - 13) and I sit in those as well. Like OT, the sessions are focused on setting up his home program. I can't imagine her trying to explain everything in 5 minutes at the end.

I didn't go in for my child's speech therapy, but we used a community provider who worked with him in class, at lunch, or on the playground, so his teachers were always around and could see what she was doing. She also sent me very detailed notes. I can see how office work would be appropriate for articulation and building vocabulary, though I don't know why a parent wouldn't sit in unless the child found it distracting or was having trouble complying.

Same experience as PP.

OP, this is a preference from the provider. It's not super weird, but you don't have to accommodate it if you have a different preference. We had one PT who didn't want us to sit in when my child was 2.5 yo, after about 5-6 initial sessions. It was purely her preference, not a requirement for therapy to be better or more impactful. He had separation issues back then so obviously it didn't work for us to collaborate with this PT long term. We have 2 PTs now and each welcomes parent involvement, gives explanations, comments on levels of difficulty, muscles he needs to strengthen, etc. So it's just a matter of finding someone whose working style you're comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

I would expect that:

- therapy would almost always improve from not having a parent in the room. Especially once a kid is 9!!!
- The therapist hates having you in the room. They likely think you are crazy, because what parent still sits in therapy at this age? A highly anxious and/or micromanaging one.
- Your past therapists who have told you they "love" having you in the room are just being nice. I've never had a therapist tell me that I wasn't the best mom ever who wasn't doing all the best, most amazing things for my kid. Clearly therapists know that parents of SN kids are struggling and we all want to be told we're doing the right thing (parenting therapy obviously being the exception - where they will tell you when to back off). They know their audience and they know what to say.

But no, no therapist wants you in the room at this age, and yes, they think worse of you for it.

[Anonymous]

What is a typical SLP session?

Therapist greets the child and parent, asks if there are any concerns or updates from the homework.

Therapist and child work one-on-one during much of the session.

At the end of the session the therapist updates the parent on progress, demonstrates skills taught, and assigns some homework to practice between sessions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a typical SLP session?

Therapist greets the child and parent, asks if there are any concerns or updates from the homework.

Therapist and child work one-on-one during much of the session.

At the end of the session the therapist updates the parent on progress, demonstrates skills taught, and assigns some homework to practice between sessions.

This is based on what? Once practice's FAQs? The answer is it varies. And since OP didn't mention the level of speech or other issues her child has, let's not assume. Some kids don't have tools or level of maturity to be 1:1 with therapists despite their chronological age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

From your repetitive posts it’s pretty obvious why the therapist asked you to leave.

+1

OP also makes the wrong assumption that those of us who wait in the waiting room aren't learning best practices for home from the therapist. The two are not mutually exclusive.

At the end of DC's session, the speech therapist comes to the waiting room and explains what they've been working on, then gives me the homework to do with him at home before the next session. It's worked wonderfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Oh wow. I've weeded out so many not so productive therapies by sitting in these sessions.

I've sat in since my son was 3 and needed a lot of assistance with articulation.

Super surprised people aren't sitting in more frequently. It's interesting.

I myself have gone through several therapists before I found the right one. How do you know what's going on unless you hear the info being exchanged?

Also, I guess I don't understand the *cost* of a parent listening in (like a fly on the wall) until a kid is a tween/teen. So why not?

NP here. I rarely sat in with my kid when w\he was a preschooler. I sometimes would join the end of the session to see what they did or so the therapist could give me homework.

I have not sat in since he was in K. He is now 12.

[Anonymous]

Once we were out of the separation anxiety phase around 3 years old, I stopped going with him for appointments. We would reconvene the last 5-10 minutes to discuss.

As a teacher, I sure as heck don’t want parents sitting in the back of the room while I teach. Even more awkward for a 1 on 1 therapist!

[Anonymous]

At that age, my people-pleasing kid would have been far more anxious with two adults than with one, even (especially) if one was a parent.

It’s tough for any kid to focus on what a therapist is asking them to do while simultaneously keeping an eye on a parent in the room. Even if the parent manages to overcome every instinct and keep even the barest a hint of a reaction from their face, the kid will still be looking for one.

[Anonymous]

How do you know if it’s working? Is your child’s speech getting better?

[Anonymous]

Not weird, but I also don't mind parents sitting in at all.

However, many parents have no idea what an SLP is actually doing because they themselves are not SLPs. If your SLP is reading a book they are not "just reading a book". They could be working on grammar, story telling, articulation, fluency, answering questions, main idea, vocabulary, basic concepts etc.. some people are too quick to judge.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I never intervene in the sessions. Ever.

But with how intense and competitive and results-oriented I've heard the DC area is, I'm surprised that parents don't sit in. I'd encourage you to do so.

So many parents seem to bemoan their children's lack of progress. This could be a reason why.

I have been an unapologetic advocate for my child and a savvy consumer.

It just seems *prudent* to sit in unless a child is uncomfortable with a parent in the room. My child is super comfortable with me and with my presence.

Thanks to all posters. It's been interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Don't people sit in? I can't imagine paying the gobs of money for therapy that I do without have a good sense of what's going on.

Doesn't knowing what's being discussed help you understand if this is time and money well spent?

So many places support having parents sit in--at least the ones I've talked to.

I'd possibly sit in for a very young toddler, but I'd never consider sitting in for a nine-year-old.

Additionally, unless you are an SLP yourself, how would you have the expertise to know if the therapy is time and money well-spent?