How NEGATIVE are college admissions from a top private versus public

[Anonymous]

I would never say this out loud: we chose private school for reasons that have nothing to do with college admissions. Rather, we did it for networking purposes. Our child can meet a future spouse who is guaranteed to have compatible values with our family’s. They might not partner up with someone who attended at the same time as them. Rather, they will stay involved in their school’s alumni association.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never say this out loud: we chose private school for reasons that have nothing to do with college admissions. Rather, we did it for networking purposes. Our child can meet a future spouse who is guaranteed to have compatible values with our family’s. They might not partner up with someone who attended at the same time as them. Rather, they will stay involved in their school’s alumni association.

Stop. Just Stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never say this out loud: we chose private school for reasons that have nothing to do with college admissions. Rather, we did it for networking purposes. Our child can meet a future spouse who is guaranteed to have compatible values with our family’s. They might not partner up with someone who attended at the same time as them. Rather, they will stay involved in their school’s alumni association.

Stop. Just Stop.

Oh no. Please go on. What are the compatible values you are looking for?

[Anonymous]

All these college threads seem to neglect the role a private high school plays in the game of life. It’s more important than college. You need the college connections and pedigree if you didn’t come from one of the top private schools. But if you did your high school connections and education will carry you regardless of whether you get into an Ivy. The Eton > Oxbridge model still applies, even here and even after all these years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never say this out loud: we chose private school for reasons that have nothing to do with college admissions. Rather, we did it for networking purposes. Our child can meet a future spouse who is guaranteed to have compatible values with our family’s. They might not partner up with someone who attended at the same time as them. Rather, they will stay involved in their school’s alumni association.

You are the anti private school troll. Can you find a new hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never say this out loud: we chose private school for reasons that have nothing to do with college admissions. Rather, we did it for networking purposes. Our child can meet a future spouse who is guaranteed to have compatible values with our family’s. They might not partner up with someone who attended at the same time as them. Rather, they will stay involved in their school’s alumni association.

Stop. Just Stop.

Oh no. Please go on. What are the compatible values you are looking for?

If you really want honesty on this anonymous message board:

At our private, every family is college-educated, upper middle class or wealthier, has excellent hygiene and has great manners. We all have similar attitudes politically & educationally. The parent population is almost universally two-parent households.

Versus the lovely, serious romantic partner my child might meet in college, and that might be someone who’s from some far-flung rural area; whose parents aren’t college educated; might have a sibling who is a teen mother; has family who isn’t politically, culturally or religiously compatible with our family or who has generational trauma.

Point is, if my child at age 25+ were looking for a serious romantic partner, I’d much prefer they circle back to someone from their private school orbit.

You asked, and I answered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given that kids from private schools are disproportionately represented at the most selective colleges, coming from private school doesn't hurt you. It just isn't the massive advantage that it used to be and that feels like a loss.

To the extent students with less good credentials are getting in from certain public schools, that's because colleges recognize that it's harder for them to get those credentials.

This. You're not being "penalized," you're just not getting as much of an advantage as someone in your posistion maybe did in the past. Parents who whine that their kids are being penalized because they attend a private school are ridiculous. If you think public schools offer such advantages, you can send your kid to one anytime, and save $50K+ a year while you're at it.

Exactly. Consider the 17-yr-old freshman attending Columbia on a full scholarship who went to a DCPS HS.

Private school parents, esp those who send their kids to schools costing north of $50,000 ($50,000!), should be embarrassed to even think their children are in any way penalized or disadvantaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never say this out loud: we chose private school for reasons that have nothing to do with college admissions. Rather, we did it for networking purposes. Our child can meet a future spouse who is guaranteed to have compatible values with our family’s. They might not partner up with someone who attended at the same time as them. Rather, they will stay involved in their school’s alumni association.

Stop. Just Stop.

Oh no. Please go on. What are the compatible values you are looking for?

You can’t be serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given that kids from private schools are disproportionately represented at the most selective colleges, coming from private school doesn't hurt you. It just isn't the massive advantage that it used to be and that feels like a loss.

To the extent students with less good credentials are getting in from certain public schools, that's because colleges recognize that it's harder for them to get those credentials.

This. You're not being "penalized," you're just not getting as much of an advantage as someone in your posistion maybe did in the past. Parents who whine that their kids are being penalized because they attend a private school are ridiculous. If you think public schools offer such advantages, you can send your kid to one anytime, and save $50K+ a year while you're at it.

Exactly. Consider the 17-yr-old freshman attending Columbia on a full scholarship who went to a DCPS HS.

Private school parents, esp those who send their kids to schools costing north of $50,000 ($50,000!), should be embarrassed to even think their children are in any way penalized or disadvantaged.

What’s the most embarrassing about spending $50,000 a year is that you espouse progressive politics but when it comes down to it youll never put your money where your mouth is. And you’ll teach your kids to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not new; it just feels new every year to the people going through it for the first time [cue the annual "no, it's really different this time" posters].

Part of the reason is that the handful of people who choose a school believing it would change their child's college application outcomes look at the matriculations and only see the colleges on the list that they want to see, and knowing nothing about the students or why those chose the schools they chose or why they got into the schools they got into, naively assume this means their kid will get into the school of their choice. Also, they probably don't appreciate how great the other schools on the list actually are and how much fit matters to individual kids. It is completely naive to assume all students choose a college based on where it lands on the USNWR list. Once you dig in, if you are really doing your homework, that list goes out the window.

Welp...my kid went to a Catholic HS and wanted to attend Notre Dame. He had a much better shot coming out of the Catholic HS than at our local very good public school. Sorry, but that is an absolute fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the woman who told us all to calm down… Funny that you’re on here reading these posts isn’t it? And to the one who said their kid got into a top 15 compared to the public… I don’t believe you.

This is an anonymous board so hopefully you will never know who I am but I can’t believe you think there is not a single private school kid who is not an athlete, legacy minority, or first-gen getting into a top 15 school. The world is really big. Of course there are kids with that profile.

What I do agree with is schools like Harvard, Yale, Stanford and Princeton are going to be hard from anywhere, including privates when only 3 of every 100 kids are admitted. But I have a hard time being sad if my kid doesn’t go to Yale if they have other great options. I am not arguing there is no advantage going to a better school but rather there is no meaningful difference in outcomes between graduates any of the, say, top 40 schools. Are you really going to be upset because a kid is going to Northwestern instead of Harvard? Not me.

And, to the posters who say their high stats kids have no choices in the top 100 or 200, that is not the experience with which I am familiar or see when looking at the senior class Instagram accounts. I don’t doubt your story but I think it seems to be out of the norm IRL, despite the prevalence of posters on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never say this out loud: we chose private school for reasons that have nothing to do with college admissions. Rather, we did it for networking purposes. Our child can meet a future spouse who is guaranteed to have compatible values with our family’s. They might not partner up with someone who attended at the same time as them. Rather, they will stay involved in their school’s alumni association.

Stop. Just Stop.

Oh no. Please go on. What are the compatible values you are looking for?

If you really want honesty on this anonymous message board:

At our private, every family is college-educated, upper middle class or wealthier, has excellent hygiene and has great manners. We all have similar attitudes politically & educationally. The parent population is almost universally two-parent households.

Versus the lovely, serious romantic partner my child might meet in college, and that might be someone who’s from some far-flung rural area; whose parents aren’t college educated; might have a sibling who is a teen mother; has family who isn’t politically, culturally or religiously compatible with our family or who has generational trauma.

Point is, if my child at age 25+ were looking for a serious romantic partner, I’d much prefer they circle back to someone from their private school orbit.

You asked, and I answered.

I am going to have to share this with my coworker. She’s in her early thirties, went to an all girls private here in the DMV and is from an old DC family - they belong to all the right clubs and she knows all the right people. The funny thing is that she goes onto the dating apps and keeps getting matched with the STA and Landon boys she grew up with. She has no desire to date or marry any of them. In fact, her last BF lives in rural VA and now she’s looking for another more down to earth, down home boy. No desire to replicate the lives of her parents. She will find your post funny and cringey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never say this out loud: we chose private school for reasons that have nothing to do with college admissions. Rather, we did it for networking purposes. Our child can meet a future spouse who is guaranteed to have compatible values with our family’s. They might not partner up with someone who attended at the same time as them. Rather, they will stay involved in their school’s alumni association.

Brilliant! You don’t want to risk your precious douchebag meeting anyone who doesn’t have a rung for him to climb on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems bizarre the college AOs want to incentivize families to send their kids to bad public schools and/or ones in podunk nowhere.

Or maybe they are realizing a kid with some grit who earned their grades and other honors without help from the resources money buys would be excellent additions to their schools. Think about it, would you hire Carl and Brook’s daughter from the country club who has had every door automatically open for her and thousands of dollars invested in her to make her the perfect being or a person with just about equal accomplishments who did it all on her own?

Carl and Brook's daughter is a figment of your imagination.

You are saying there aren’t a ton of kids who grew up at country clubs and have every resource available to them? Have you ever met anyone making less than 200Κ a year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these college threads seem to neglect the role a private high school plays in the game of life. It’s more important than college. You need the college connections and pedigree if you didn’t come from one of the top private schools. But if you did your high school connections and education will carry you regardless of whether you get into an Ivy. The Eton > Oxbridge model still applies, even here and even after all these years.

Only an entitled private school kid would need to phone in a favor from someone when they can’t make it. I was able to find my own jobs without any help from anyone. I didn’t need any help. My record spoke for itself. I got every job I interviewed for. Funny thing, the Uber wealthy owner of the company I work for asked me a few times to consider the kids of his friends for jobs in my department. I always interviewed them as a courtesy and never hired any of them. It was pathetic how amazing they thought they were.