Letting kids play vs clean house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house is very tidy. So much so that friend’s confessed they didn’t know if we could be friends when they first came over, lol). Step 1 is not having too much stuff. step 2 is everything having a home that a kid can figure out. Our shelves have clear bins so you can see everything, so they don’t dump out the animals if they are looking for a car. Step 3 is cleaning up every night. Takes a few minutes if you stay on top of it.

We let art supplies stay out all weekend on the table, but everything else gets cleaned up after they are done. Lego creations can stay on the mantle for 48 hours, and then they have to put them away (unless it’s a major Lego creation they actually play with, then that gets stored on a table). Our kids make giant messes. We clean them up when we are done (usually before a meal, or before heading out and before bed) and it takes 10-20 minutes tops.

It’s definitely effort but then we get to relax in a clean house, and that is worth it to us

Why the time limit? Why not cover the whole mantle in their creations? This is such a short period of life. It’s so sad. Lemme guess, no art work on the fridge either.

Because I want them to play with them and create new things. If they build something they want to play with, it gets put on a shelf, but otherwise, Legos are for building and playing, not decorating. Our mantle cant handle it anyway, as it is full their shell collection, questionable pottery, and family photos. Kids art is framed in one of our gallery walls or tacked to one of several 48”x36” hallway pin boards. You can celebrate kids in your house and not have toys everywhere. And yes, no art on my fridge, but it’s a sub zero and isn’t magnetic.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a book group with women who are somewhat older than me. The meeting is held in one member's house who loves to host and her place is on par with Martha Stewart. So neat and tidy and gorgeous.

One rainy day, she stopped by to loan me a book. I'd hoped to meet her on the porch, but my 5 year old beat me to the door and let her in. She took in the teepee in the living room, the toddler wearing a princess dress and tiara making a huge mess, the teenager at the dining room table with a messy art project, and my five year old returning to his Lego creation in the family room where the TV was blaring Clifford or something (my house is open-plan; you can see all the rooms from the entry). She looked at me and said "I miss these days so much. You're lucky."

It gave me new appreciation for this period in my life. Someday my kids will be grown and gone and my house will be neat but for now, just celebrate some of the craziness that is young children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a book group with women who are somewhat older than me. The meeting is held in one member's house who loves to host and her place is on par with Martha Stewart. So neat and tidy and gorgeous.

One rainy day, she stopped by to loan me a book. I'd hoped to meet her on the porch, but my 5 year old beat me to the door and let her in. She took in the teepee in the living room, the toddler wearing a princess dress and tiara making a huge mess, the teenager at the dining room table with a messy art project, and my five year old returning to his Lego creation in the family room where the TV was blaring Clifford or something (my house is open-plan; you can see all the rooms from the entry). She looked at me and said "I miss these days so much. You're lucky."

It gave me new appreciation for this period in my life. Someday my kids will be grown and gone and my house will be neat but for now, just celebrate some of the craziness that is young children.

Truer words never spoken.

[Anonymous]

The best way to teach a kid to clean or do most anything is to keep them at your side and teach them by having them help you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never heard a eulogy for a mother that said "She was the best mom because she kept the place spic and span."

I’m not the OP, but for me it isn’t about being the “best mom.” It’s about the anxiety that clutter and mess causes. I grew up with a mom who left crap everywhere. I could never find anything, never sit down. A messy house reminds me of that and I HATE it. It’s like someone else said up thread about having too much noise.

OP, I would have even fewer toys. Your kids will adjust and it will be good for their creativity.

Sounds like maybe you should work on fixing that instead of trying to fix your children to accommodate your problem.

why do americans think it's a burden to be neat? it seems very unique to you people.

M toddler will help clean up with some help and encouragement. We sing a song and do it together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a neat freak how do you balance letting young kids play vs having a clean house? Having clutter in our house gives me a slight anxiety attack. I feel like on the weekends I am constantly walking around cleaning up things. Right now our basement is semi finished and all the kids toys are down there. I am trying to just let them play (especially since it’s cold out) but just knowing the huge mess they are making gives me anxiety. Thoughts? Solutions? Commiseration?

Get some professional help immediately. You are taking the joy out of your children's lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never heard a eulogy for a mother that said "She was the best mom because she kept the place spic and span."

I’m not the OP, but for me it isn’t about being the “best mom.” It’s about the anxiety that clutter and mess causes. I grew up with a mom who left crap everywhere. I could never find anything, never sit down. A messy house reminds me of that and I HATE it. It’s like someone else said up thread about having too much noise.

OP, I would have even fewer toys. Your kids will adjust and it will be good for their creativity.

Sounds like maybe you should work on fixing that instead of trying to fix your children to accommodate your problem.

why do americans think it's a burden to be neat? it seems very unique to you people.

M toddler will help clean up with some help and encouragement. We sing a song and do it together.

There's a whole lot of real estate between neat and having a panic attack because something is out of place. Maybe some Americans have learned that life is too short to be spending time putting things back that will just be taken out again. Its all very Sisyphean.

[Anonymous]

Buy fewer toys in the first place and donate and rotate toys frequently.

My preschooler plays mostly in the living room but her toys are out of sight by the end of the evening. Our home still obviously has a child in it (there is tasteful but child-oriented furniture, for example) but I find it more relaxing to have an adult-only space after kid bedtime.

A large storage ottoman has been our saving grace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never heard a eulogy for a mother that said "She was the best mom because she kept the place spic and span."

I’m not the OP, but for me it isn’t about being the “best mom.” It’s about the anxiety that clutter and mess causes. I grew up with a mom who left crap everywhere. I could never find anything, never sit down. A messy house reminds me of that and I HATE it. It’s like someone else said up thread about having too much noise.

OP, I would have even fewer toys. Your kids will adjust and it will be good for their creativity.

Sounds like maybe you should work on fixing that instead of trying to fix your children to accommodate your problem.

why do americans think it's a burden to be neat? it seems very unique to you people.

M toddler will help clean up with some help and encouragement. We sing a song and do it together.

There's a whole lot of real estate between neat and having a panic attack because something is out of place. Maybe some Americans have learned that life is too short to be spending time putting things back that will just be taken out again. Its all very Sisyphean.

just sounds like laziness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never heard a eulogy for a mother that said "She was the best mom because she kept the place spic and span."

I’m not the OP, but for me it isn’t about being the “best mom.” It’s about the anxiety that clutter and mess causes. I grew up with a mom who left crap everywhere. I could never find anything, never sit down. A messy house reminds me of that and I HATE it. It’s like someone else said up thread about having too much noise.

OP, I would have even fewer toys. Your kids will adjust and it will be good for their creativity.

Sounds like maybe you should work on fixing that instead of trying to fix your children to accommodate your problem.

why do americans think it's a burden to be neat? it seems very unique to you people.

M toddler will help clean up with some help and encouragement. We sing a song and do it together.

There's a whole lot of real estate between neat and having a panic attack because something is out of place. Maybe some Americans have learned that life is too short to be spending time putting things back that will just be taken out again. Its all very Sisyphean.

just sounds like laziness

Hey, if your primary interest is straightening up - go right ahead. I have much better things to do. No one will ever remember or care that your counters were continually spotless.