I can’t ending wait to be done with travel sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. I am betting that you have a kid at a higher competitive level. I had two kids go through travel soccer, they were always on the second or third team out of five, and no chance of moving off it or playing in college. It was a fun enough experience in that capacity. I have heard that the top teams are cutthroat, but ours were ok.

Yeah, I wonder about this too. We will be trying out for top teams for the 23-24 and I worry about this "cut throat" environment. We've only been at small clubs and everyone (teammates and parents) loves my kid. It happens all the time that kids from smaller, less well known clubs come in around the U13 age when play moves to 11 v. 11, and I wonder what the dynamics are there and how the individual team members act towards a new kid from outside the club and seeing their long time teammates not making the top team. I've always assumed that at a high level of competition and on the top teams, the kids that are not considered part of the top 5 or so of the team are used to never feeling secure in their position and always having to proof their worth. Is that the case?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Be weary of the team managers. They are always self serving back stabbers.

Serious. We have one that bad mouths the other player that plays his kid’s position to the coach. He has a direct line. Not the first club it’s happened.

You too? Yes we have one of those. And my kid plays the same position as his. It is a blast.

OP- my sympathies. I know you are just venting. Many of us in the same boat.

A parent bad mouthing other kids to sell his own is just sick. Sadly, we have been in that boat too.

We had this. It was kinda hilarious because the mom who tried to do it knew nothing about the sport. My kid was the one she always tried to target, and he was a super coachable kid who was always doing exactly what the coach said, so she’d loudly say “what’s THAT kid doing?” in a mocking tone, and the other parents would explain that he was executing the play laid out by the coach.

We actually ran into her at a tournament years after our kids quit playing together. My kid was playing up 2 years for a 17u team at a very well thought of club, and her kid was playing 15u. Her kid’s team had lost badly to the 15u team from my kid’s club, and she noticed that my kid’s uniform was different. She actually asked my kid “If you play for X team, why is your uniform black’?” (or whatever the color was). Like she really thought he was walking around a tournament in a fake uniform or something. Her husband — who had seen my kid’s game and said nice things to him about it before she walked up — explained that he was playing for the 17U team whose game had just ended, and she looked like she was going to be sick.

Damn

I haven't had this experience with my kid. But he does play at the highest level of competition and I've definitely heard A LOT of what parents say about other kids and of course their own. I tend to walk around when I watch my kid or watch from afar in part because I get anxious/nervous for them; to avoid interacting with other parents; and because apparently my cheers are too loud for my kids. Hahaha. I've asked my kids if I can just not watch the game but they always want my silent presence.

[Anonymous]

I'm sort of midway through this now with my 8th grader. What I will say for people who don't have superstar athletes- find a club where your kid can play on the top team. Being on the top team of a lower level club is such a better experience than being on team 2/3/4 of a top club. Usually, lower level teams are less pressured and by being on the top team, you get the most attention/best coaching, etc.

Just my 0.02 5 years into this.

[Anonymous]

I miss it and I don't miss it. I really enjoy not having to haul someone to a weekend tournament out of state, and keeping track of what field we need to be to, and when. And sitting out in the freezing cold, in the rain, or sweating through my clothes because there never seemed to be a perfect weather day.

On the other hand, now that my son is two years out of this time (in college now), I miss the time I had with him on those weekends, when it was primarily just the two of us. I miss the time in the car with him, talking about everything and about nothing (when he wasn't sound asleep, that is). I miss the two of us picking a restaurant to try something new and sitting down together. And I miss his joy and love that he had for his team.

[Anonymous]

What I will say for people who don't have superstar athletes- find a club where your kid can play on the top team. Being on the top team of a lower level club is such a better experience than being on team 2/3/4 of a top club. Usually, lower level teams are less pressured and by being on the top team, you get the most attention/best coaching, etc.

I get that and don't argue that, if there were no other factors, that would be ideal. However, my child is also in 8th, and my husband and I work full time (albeit in flexible jobs) and have other kids, so we're not in the position to drive him all over the place. He need to be at one of the two clubs that is a reasonable driving distance for us, both of which are pretty high level.

[Anonymous]

Why is the travel sport environment so often so negative?

[Anonymous]

I'd never have started, OP. Mostly it sounds like throwing away money.

[Anonymous]

I have 4 kids and 3 did travel sports. Do not miss one thing about it. Adults behaving badly. Not a waste of time and money totally for us as 2 of my 3 got into very good academic D3 schools using their sport (would not have gotten in without that hook). If your kid is not at a level for it to impact college admission don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'd never have started, OP. Mostly it sounds like throwing away money.

I wonder about this too. We were drawn into travel sports because one of my kids is just really good, probably a superstar. I've always said, it if were not for him, we'd have stayed at rec level and super local. But because of him, our other kids have actually turned out pretty good too and love being better than the general population. But we have friends whose kids also do travel and they just aren't very good nor are they motivated to get better. The parents talk to the coach about playing time and what they can do for him to get more playing time, etc. Not a terrible thing to do but I just feel that travel soccer is a lot for kids who may actually not be that bad, but just have a rec level of motivation. I am keeping one kid at a rec level at another sport because while she's athletic, she wants to try out too many other things as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What I will say for people who don't have superstar athletes- find a club where your kid can play on the top team. Being on the top team of a lower level club is such a better experience than being on team 2/3/4 of a top club. Usually, lower level teams are less pressured and by being on the top team, you get the most attention/best coaching, etc.

I get that and don't argue that, if there were no other factors, that would be ideal. However, my child is also in 8th, and my husband and I work full time (albeit in flexible jobs) and have other kids, so we're not in the position to drive him all over the place. He need to be at one of the two clubs that is a reasonable driving distance for us, both of which are pretty high level.

Fair enough!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sort of midway through this now with my 8th grader. What I will say for people who don't have superstar athletes- find a club where your kid can play on the top team. Being on the top team of a lower level club is such a better experience than being on team 2/3/4 of a top club. Usually, lower level teams are less pressured and by being on the top team, you get the most attention/best coaching, etc.

Just my 0.02 5 years into this.

I assume this post is about soccer, but I also feel the same way about travel baseball.

My kid has tried out for A level teams but moved to a B level team this year (and a B level team that didn't do great last year).

The coaching he gets combined with the more relaxed/supportive atmosphere has rekindled his love for the game.

Plus, he'll be in the starting 9 for elimination games. Which motivates him even more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sort of midway through this now with my 8th grader. What I will say for people who don't have superstar athletes- find a club where your kid can play on the top team. Being on the top team of a lower level club is such a better experience than being on team 2/3/4 of a top club. Usually, lower level teams are less pressured and by being on the top team, you get the most attention/best coaching, etc.

Just my 0.02 5 years into this.

FWIW, coming from the perspective of a college recruit parent whose kid is now through the process, I completely disagree with this. I think avoiding the top team at a big club until kids are u15 or so is the best plan unless you have an absolute superstar (and even then, I’m not convinced). I actually think for development and growth, being on the second or third team for awhile is best. You get the ambitious coaches who have their own career ambitions, but you don’t have the insanity of the top team parents.

You have to be willing to switch clubs sometimes, when it comes time to go to a top-level team. But I’m so glad my kid played lower level for years, and not on the top team. DC got much better development and a lot more playing time, and then easily transitioned to a top team when DC wanted. The parents were mellower than the top team parents as well.

I honestly don’t understand why so many parents push their kids to be on top teams of any club. It doesn’t always make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sort of midway through this now with my 8th grader. What I will say for people who don't have superstar athletes- find a club where your kid can play on the top team. Being on the top team of a lower level club is such a better experience than being on team 2/3/4 of a top club. Usually, lower level teams are less pressured and by being on the top team, you get the most attention/best coaching, etc.

Just my 0.02 5 years into this.

FWIW, coming from the perspective of a college recruit parent whose kid is now through the process, I completely disagree with this. I think avoiding the top team at a big club until kids are u15 or so is the best plan unless you have an absolute superstar (and even then, I’m not convinced). I actually think for development and growth, being on the second or third team for awhile is best. You get the ambitious coaches who have their own career ambitions, but you don’t have the insanity of the top team parents.

You have to be willing to switch clubs sometimes, when it comes time to go to a top-level team. But I’m so glad my kid played lower level for years, and not on the top team. DC got much better development and a lot more playing time, and then easily transitioned to a top team when DC wanted. The parents were mellower than the top team parents as well.

I honestly don’t understand why so many parents push their kids to be on top teams of any club. It doesn’t always make sense.

Maybe those parents really believe their kids are top players? I've always felt that if a kid is not self-motivated or can only compete at that level with lots of extra training that parents are willing to provide, that they probably aren't top level material. My kid thinks it's wild to hear that some of his teammates on a top team have had private training for so long yet he is still the better player (starter and more playing time). He half-jokes and says imagine how much better he would be if we had gotten him a private trainer. I told him we didn't care whether he got on a top team or not so we never even thought about it.

[Anonymous]

i've had 3 kids in travel spots; usually the top team at a smaller club or the B team for a club that fields 5 levels. This is a decent place to be--good level of competition but you avoid most of the crazy parents and kids.

I've complained a lot over the years, especially regarding holiday weekend tournaments. However, i would agree that we've also made some good memories in the car, at hotels, etc. I will almost miss it when it's done. My youngest is in 7th so I have 5 more years. My oldest kid is in 11th and I was reflecting (while FREEZING in a downpour) this past weekend that I only have one more season of cold Oct and Nov soccer with this kid. It's crazy to realize that the era is about to end.

[Anonymous]

The parents and crazy coaches are what ruin it.

At many sports the top players either move away or just decide to only play HS sports and quit travel. Which creates room on the higher level teams. Then parents of kids that are now on highest teams get batshit crazy and want to travel like mad. Not realizing that their kids didn't get better, the better kids left.

Then you get the coach's that think they are coaching future hall of famers and want to travel all over the place, when they could play great competition 1-3 hours away. But want to go play against "name brand" teams an airplane ride away.