Are kids just all disrespectful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

+1. 12 girls is a lot and I’m sure at least a few of their parents are under the impression their kid would never be a part of what occurred. Groupthink and mob frenzy is powerful. Next time, way fewer kids and take note of who the ringleaders in the group are. Even the sweetest most well behaved kid can succumb to peer pressure.

[Anonymous]

When I was young, one friend hosted crazy sleepovers with a bunch of girls (more than 12?) repeatedly. The difference is that we stayed in our assigned rev room at the end of the house or outside (and no immediate neighbors!). We were probably messy, but I don’t recall us ever breaking things or causing the parents grief.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever met kids? Uhhh yeah, there is a difference.

[Anonymous]

Here’s a 10 year old girl anecdote from this afternoon at the pool:

My 6 yo daughter was swimming while a small group of 10 year old girls were also swimming. I was on the deck and the girls were lovely and polite to us adults nearby and each other. Another group of 10ish yo girls arrived and went straight to the locker room. A while later, I met my daughter in the locker room shortly after she walked there to change.

When I walked in, the girls from the pool had joined the other girls and there were 8-10 10ish year old girls in the locker room shrieking, opening and shutting stall doors and changing room curtains, throwing soap from the dispensers, and throwing down Otter Pop wrappers. I called my daughter’s name because I couldn’t see her.

One of the girls mocked me- 3 feet away from me but in a spot where she thought I couldn’t see her- shrieking my daughter’s name and laughing. The other girls were lunging toward changing room curtains and about to whip open the one where my daughter was changing.

I shut that sh-t down so fast, and immediately thought of this thread. Tweens are wild pack animals and should be kept in captivity only and in groups of 4, max.

[Anonymous]

I would have called every single parent and sent the brats home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

NP. I don't loathe you. Or even your thinking. But I do think some parents do not realize that there are kids who would literally never do this.

For example, when I was a kid. I would never do this because my parents were very strict and I would be mortified to damage another family's property. My kid is the same. I know this. And that's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

NP. I don't loathe you. Or even your thinking. But I do think some parents do not realize that there are kids who would literally never do this.

For example, when I was a kid. I would never do this because my parents were very strict and I would be mortified to damage another family's property. My kid is the same. I know this. And that's ok.

And kids grow and change over time and some day may surprise you.

The "my kids would never do that" parent in my neighborhood says that about things I have witnessed her kids do. They are masterful at behaving well in front of grownups but often are the instigators convincing other kids to misbehave. They do not yet realize that my office window faces the area where there neighborhood kids congregate to play and I hear and see way too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a 10 year old girl anecdote from this afternoon at the pool:

My 6 yo daughter was swimming while a small group of 10 year old girls were also swimming. I was on the deck and the girls were lovely and polite to us adults nearby and each other. Another group of 10ish yo girls arrived and went straight to the locker room. A while later, I met my daughter in the locker room shortly after she walked there to change.

When I walked in, the girls from the pool had joined the other girls and there were 8-10 10ish year old girls in the locker room shrieking, opening and shutting stall doors and changing room curtains, throwing soap from the dispensers, and throwing down Otter Pop wrappers. I called my daughter’s name because I couldn’t see her.

One of the girls mocked me- 3 feet away from me but in a spot where she thought I couldn’t see her- shrieking my daughter’s name and laughing. The other girls were lunging toward changing room curtains and about to whip open the one where my daughter was changing.

I shut that sh-t down so fast, and immediately thought of this thread. Tweens are wild pack animals and should be kept in captivity only and in groups of 4, max.

Are you sure they weren't older than 10? I have a ten year old. For one, she would never be unsupervised at a pool with a large group of friends. Usually if you see groups of kids hanging in packs like that at the pool, they're middle school aged. I.e., puberty and rebellion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Way too many kids. 4-5 max and only kids you know well.

This is it. And the offenders would never set foot in my house again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s a 10 year old girl anecdote from this afternoon at the pool:

My 6 yo daughter was swimming while a small group of 10 year old girls were also swimming. I was on the deck and the girls were lovely and polite to us adults nearby and each other. Another group of 10ish yo girls arrived and went straight to the locker room. A while later, I met my daughter in the locker room shortly after she walked there to change.

When I walked in, the girls from the pool had joined the other girls and there were 8-10 10ish year old girls in the locker room shrieking, opening and shutting stall doors and changing room curtains, throwing soap from the dispensers, and throwing down Otter Pop wrappers. I called my daughter’s name because I couldn’t see her.

One of the girls mocked me- 3 feet away from me but in a spot where she thought I couldn’t see her- shrieking my daughter’s name and laughing. The other girls were lunging toward changing room curtains and about to whip open the one where my daughter was changing.

I shut that sh-t down so fast, and immediately thought of this thread. Tweens are wild pack animals and should be kept in captivity only and in groups of 4, max.

Sounds like your daughter was not involved in the debauchery and that you're raising her right.

[Anonymous]

12 is a lot of girls. We recently hosted 8 ten year old boys for a Friday night hang out at our house. Never again. They didn’t break anything but our house was trashed and they acted crazy running around our house like crazy animals. Most of these kids we have had over one on one with no problems. Dh refuses to let more than 1-2 kids over at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

NP. I don't loathe you. Or even your thinking. But I do think some parents do not realize that there are kids who would literally never do this.

For example, when I was a kid. I would never do this because my parents were very strict and I would be mortified to damage another family's property. My kid is the same. I know this. And that's ok.

I am very strict with my kid. If she misbehaves, there are consequences. But I'm not going to pretend that she'd never ever behave badly or could get swept up with the crowd or succumb to peer pressure.

And making sanctimonious comments about how my kid is better doesn't really contribute to the conversation.

I will never forget how one times when my kid misbehaved in preschool and I agreed with the teacher and we talked about consequences and how to correct that behavior. The teacher said she grateful that I didn't justify or defend my kids behavior which is what most parents do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither of my kids would ever act like this.

I really loathe parents who are so convinced their precious snowflake would never misbehave and it's always somebody else's fault if they get in trouble.

NP. I don't loathe you. Or even your thinking. But I do think some parents do not realize that there are kids who would literally never do this.

For example, when I was a kid. I would never do this because my parents were very strict and I would be mortified to damage another family's property. My kid is the same. I know this. And that's ok.

I am very strict with my kid. If she misbehaves, there are consequences. But I'm not going to pretend that she'd never ever behave badly or could get swept up with the crowd or succumb to peer pressure.

And making sanctimonious comments about how my kid is better doesn't really contribute to the conversation.

I will never forget how one times when my kid misbehaved in preschool and I agreed with the teacher and we talked about consequences and how to correct that behavior. The teacher said she grateful that I didn't justify or defend my kids behavior which is what most parents do

OP: Is this normal with kids this age?
Posters: No, my kids don't this age wouldn't behave like this. Our sleepovers match your previous experience, and we don't think this is normal with kids this age.
You: You all are sanctimonious.

I said previously I was afraid of my parents. Do you think if my preschool teacher said I misbehaved, they would be in denial? Let's just say no. That would not have been the result.

Kids can be well behaved. That doesn't mean I wouldn't believe otherwise. I'd come down hard on them. That's how kids stay good.

[Anonymous]

12 girls is a mob. That's too many. Now you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You say yourself the kids are fine one on one. I think you had a group situation that got out of control and the kids got swept up in it. My kids know to listen to adults, throw their things away, and act respectfully. However, I’ve heard tales of parties where everyone started throwing cheese balls around and they got in on the action and thought it was all great fun (there’s one particular sleepover I still hear about years later that I can only imagine was hell for the parents; I think I’m still hearing about it bc it was such a departure from how kid usually interacts with the world and he thinks of it as best.time.ever). I’ve hosted enough parties where I’m well aware that too many kids without enough structure is a recipe for disaster. I think PP is right that at 8-9 you either need highly structured party games with an adult leading (and adult is willing to firmly step in and say “stop spitting out your food or dinner is over”), a venue where kids can go crazy (yard party or trampoline park), or a much smaller group of kids.

Yes, this. Im sure these aren’t bad kids, they are just taking cues from each other and whipping themselves up into a frenzy. We have all been in situations where energy, for good or ill, is contagious, right?