Anxiety about drowning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His swim instructor has told us how water wings and life vests aren’t great for small kids especially at this age when it’s clicking and they may really learn, it sets up a dangerous situation where they think they can swim after floating in puddle jumpers in a pool and the parent turns their back and they jump in the pool. For a lake or something, yes of course but professionals will say life vests are horrible at the pool.

I actually remember doing this!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you want your kid to learn put in the time. That means 8 hours in the pool every weekend, practicing.

My DS could swim all over a pool at 3.

My boys could both swim well and underwater by two. Both could get to the side of our pool and climb out without help by 2.5.

Those facts/abilities in no way lessened my anxiety about drowning and vigilance in watching them like a hawk when they were in the water.

There are lifeguards at Olympic swimming meets. You have to be absolutely engaged around kids and a pool.

My husband pulled a grown woman out of the pool once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. This thread has not been helpful so far!

How on earth are you supposed to get through this period of time without flotation devices when you're kid can't yet swim? Mine is in lessons but it's not clicking yet. I am super vigilant at the pool and actually feel like my DH is very vigilant as well, but we are human and can't operate at 100% max vigilance every second, so we were going to use the puddle jumper for "free swim" time this summer so that we can relax a little during at least some of our pool time.

I get the argument that it gives kids a false sense of security but doesn't it make more sense to use it so that parents can get a freaking break, and then just be extremely vigilant when they aren't wearing it (even if out of the pool)? I just don't think "watch them ever single second and never stray far enough away where you couldn't instantly yank them out of the water" is a reasonable expectation, unless the plan is to spend very little time at the pool, which is also not a great way to get your kid swimming.

Can someone explain this one to me?

Relaxing poolside is not for your chapter of life, sorry. The flotation things can slip off. He could pull them off. Another kid could rough house and pull him under the water. etc etc etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this is totally valid (and healthy) anxiety in my opinion.

My in laws have a cabin and are DYING to take my kids by themselves. It's a HUGE NOPE from me and probably will be forever to be honest. My in laws are in good shape, but not fast. My SIL lets them take her kids all the time (3y and 1y) and it gives me so much anxiety. They took her kids Memorial Day weekend and the 1yo ended up in the ER because he ran to a hot grill, put both hands flat against it, and severely burned both palms. My MIL was right there watching him, but couldn't run fast enough to get him before he got to the grill. Imagine if he was running in to the lake, not the grill.

Also, I was at the beach when I was a preteen and a child drowned. The mother's ear piercing wail is forever etched into my mind. I think about it ALL the time and this happened 20+ years ago.

My MIL asked my son (before asking us) if he would like to vacation at the beach house without us. Last time we were up there she spent all her time at the beach sunbathing. I made up a half truth that my son is a homeschooled covid weirdo and would be annoying to the other older kids and I don't want him getting picked on. Half true, but the real reason is that I absolutely do not trust him around the water with her supervision.

[Anonymous]

Yep, I am always within arm's reach of my three year old when we're in the pool (and always in with him). Yes, he goes to swim lessons. Yes, flotation devices provide a false sense of security and can lead to a.kid overestimating their abilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. This thread has not been helpful so far!

How on earth are you supposed to get through this period of time without flotation devices when you're kid can't yet swim? Mine is in lessons but it's not clicking yet. I am super vigilant at the pool and actually feel like my DH is very vigilant as well, but we are human and can't operate at 100% max vigilance every second, so we were going to use the puddle jumper for "free swim" time this summer so that we can relax a little during at least some of our pool time.

I get the argument that it gives kids a false sense of security but doesn't it make more sense to use it so that parents can get a freaking break, and then just be extremely vigilant when they aren't wearing it (even if out of the pool)? I just don't think "watch them ever single second and never stray far enough away where you couldn't instantly yank them out of the water" is a reasonable expectation, unless the plan is to spend very little time at the pool, which is also not a great way to get your kid swimming.

Can someone explain this one to me?

I think everyone just needs to look at the evidence and make the best choice for them and their family.

I don’t relax at the pool, but I have an infant so right now I can’t go in the water. So my 6yo wears a flotation device. I get that it’s not ideal but our other options is to not go to the pool at all. If dad is home he’ll watch the baby and I’ll take DD to the pool so we can practice swimming without one, but during the week, she needs to wear it.

[Anonymous]

My then almost three year old almost drowned a few years ago and I was watching her! she came out of the pool after playing with DH, I took off her puddle
Jumper, looked down in my bag to get more sunscreen and when I look up she was nowhere to be found. In less than a minute she had walked back to the edge of the pool and jumped in. When I looked up and did not see her, I ran to to the pool and saw her under, yelled and my husband who was with our other child reached her in a matter of seconds. She was fine, because it has only been seconds. But even with two adults (and my mom!) who were doing nothing but watching/playing with the kids we had an incident. Also, she thought she could swim because of the floaties. It really does give them a false sense of safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:His swim instructor has told us how water wings and life vests aren’t great for small kids especially at this age when it’s clicking and they may really learn, it sets up a dangerous situation where they think they can swim after floating in puddle jumpers in a pool and the parent turns their back and they jump in the pool. For a lake or something, yes of course but professionals will say life vests are horrible at the pool.

Water wings are a NO. Coast guard approved flotation devices are great. You can use them without causing any delay to learning how to swim.

You’re missing the point.
For a 3 or 4 year old who is taking lessons, they won’t really differentiate when they don’t have the water wings in and jump in the pool thinking they can swim. That’s how a lot of drownings occur.

They should never be unsupervised near a pool where they could jump in without the wings on.

Just like I don’t let them walk around in traffic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My then almost three year old almost drowned a few years ago and I was watching her! she came out of the pool after playing with DH, I took off her puddle
Jumper, looked down in my bag to get more sunscreen and when I look up she was nowhere to be found. In less than a minute she had walked back to the edge of the pool and jumped in. When I looked up and did not see her, I ran to to the pool and saw her under, yelled and my husband who was with our other child reached her in a matter of seconds. She was fine, because it has only been seconds. But even with two adults (and my mom!) who were doing nothing but watching/playing with the kids we had an incident. Also, she thought she could swim because of the floaties. It really does give them a false sense of safety.

More adults means less eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. This thread has not been helpful so far!

How on earth are you supposed to get through this period of time without flotation devices when you're kid can't yet swim? Mine is in lessons but it's not clicking yet. I am super vigilant at the pool and actually feel like my DH is very vigilant as well, but we are human and can't operate at 100% max vigilance every second, so we were going to use the puddle jumper for "free swim" time this summer so that we can relax a little during at least some of our pool time.

I get the argument that it gives kids a false sense of security but doesn't it make more sense to use it so that parents can get a freaking break, and then just be extremely vigilant when they aren't wearing it (even if out of the pool)? I just don't think "watch them ever single second and never stray far enough away where you couldn't instantly yank them out of the water" is a reasonable expectation, unless the plan is to spend very little time at the pool, which is also not a great way to get your kid swimming.

Can someone explain this one to me?

Relaxing poolside is not for your chapter of life, sorry. The flotation things can slip off. He could pull them off. Another kid could rough house and pull him under the water. etc etc etc

This. When I go to the pool with 4 yr old we are attached like glue. And this is a guarded pool. I am swimming with her or watching her swim with floats on in shallow depth kids pool.

[Anonymous]

My anxiety about my small children in water is what made me push them to be on the swim team. I wanted to have very strong swimmers. Only once they were legit doing freestyle across the pool could I relax.

And yes until then I was there, every minute

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My then almost three year old almost drowned a few years ago and I was watching her! she came out of the pool after playing with DH, I took off her puddle
Jumper, looked down in my bag to get more sunscreen and when I look up she was nowhere to be found. In less than a minute she had walked back to the edge of the pool and jumped in. When I looked up and did not see her, I ran to to the pool and saw her under, yelled and my husband who was with our other child reached her in a matter of seconds. She was fine, because it has only been seconds. But even with two adults (and my mom!) who were doing nothing but watching/playing with the kids we had an incident. Also, she thought she could swim because of the floaties. It really does give them a false sense of safety.

Scary story and I’m glad ended well. Just curious why you didn’t jump in after DD? No judgment intended, I just cannot image having the presence of mind to do anything except jump in.

[Anonymous]

There are only 2 other people that I trust to watch my kids in the water: DH and my aunt. No one else. Other family members or friends will offer to watch them so that I can run inside and use the restroom or something, but I never take them up on the offer because their idea of watching children in the water is far different from mine.

[Anonymous]

I dont have a kid yet- currently pregnant and being in pools around kids already makes me so nervous. So many parents not paying attention. I used to live abroad and it was a big issue at fancy hotel pools. Have pulled kids out more than once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. This thread has not been helpful so far!

How on earth are you supposed to get through this period of time without flotation devices when you're kid can't yet swim? Mine is in lessons but it's not clicking yet. I am super vigilant at the pool and actually feel like my DH is very vigilant as well, but we are human and can't operate at 100% max vigilance every second, so we were going to use the puddle jumper for "free swim" time this summer so that we can relax a little during at least some of our pool time.

I get the argument that it gives kids a false sense of security but doesn't it make more sense to use it so that parents can get a freaking break, and then just be extremely vigilant when they aren't wearing it (even if out of the pool)? I just don't think "watch them ever single second and never stray far enough away where you couldn't instantly yank them out of the water" is a reasonable expectation, unless the plan is to spend very little time at the pool, which is also not a great way to get your kid swimming.

Can someone explain this one to me?

I think everyone just needs to look at the evidence and make the best choice for them and their family.

I don’t relax at the pool, but I have an infant so right now I can’t go in the water. So my 6yo wears a flotation device. I get that it’s not ideal but our other options is to not go to the pool at all. If dad is home he’ll watch the baby and I’ll take DD to the pool so we can practice swimming without one, but during the week, she needs to wear it.

No, parents do not get to “look at their own situation and decide whether they want to relax at the pool or watch their child.” I used to be a lifeguard and if a parent wasn’t within 5 or so feet of their toddler at all times we’d kick them out.

To echo the earlier poster, your time of relaxing at the pool is over. The fact that this needs explaining is concerning and means you’re not a well-equipped parent to be handling children at the pool. I was also a swim coach for 10 years - my toddler does not wear a puddle jumper at the pool and I baby-wear my infant so I’m always right on top of both of them. If you can’t handle that, you bring a babysitter to help. If you don’t want to do that, then yes duh it means no going to the pool. Why risk a dead child for that?? There are no excuses for irresponsible parenting around water.