No screen kids, early readers, bilingual kids, unusually talented kids…

[Anonymous]

Yes, it goes away in elementary school when you realize your Netflix addicted Cheeto eating kid is on or ahead of grade level and thriving.

You don’t have to be perfectly aligned with the most strict parenting guidelines - you mainly need to not neglect your kid. Everyone can read to their kid daily for 5-10 minutes. It doesn’t have to be the most amazing books. My kids love dumb books about Pokémon. Just be moderately engaged with school work so you catch any issues early and spend an extra 10-15 minutes a few times a week to catch your kid up.

[Anonymous]

I agree that comparison is the theft of joy.

My kids were both super early advanced readers. Now teens, they are still both well above average in scores on things. One gets average grades because he doesn’t care much. The other gets good grades. But neither will get into great colleges because apparently good grades and above average scores are not enough anymore. So I feel like most kids are ending up at the same middling colleges anyway. It all basically evens out. If they are kind and feel good about themselves, that’s probably the most important.

[Anonymous]

Go check out the nanny forum here sometime. That is a decent representation of most nannies. I assure you the nannies most of the people you know have are not the modern day equivalent of Jane Eyre, Mary Poppins, or Maria from Sound of Music. They are just ordinary women trying to pay their bills. Maybe they have a bachelors degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go check out the nanny forum here sometime. That is a decent representation of most nannies. I assure you the nannies most of the people you know have are not the modern day equivalent of Jane Eyre, Mary Poppins, or Maria from Sound of Music. They are just ordinary women trying to pay their bills. Maybe they have a bachelors degree.

I think people mean the one-on-one care and attention given by a nanny as opposed to group care.

SAHMs aren’t Mary Poppins either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is going to sound like a humble brag but it’s not: I feel like one of my kids is too smart. She started talking at eight months and has always been insanely intellectually curious, like loving museums at age 3 and constantly watching educational YouTube videos as a kid.

And it’s like she knows too much. I know that a lot of this is just mental anxiety, but she knows all the challenges she is going to face: competition for college, salaries not keeping up with the cost of inflation, rising housing costs, increasing income inequality, difficult of access to mental healthcare, fossil fuel lobbies, the failures of many social justice initiarives, etc. She lies awake at night worrying about abortion rights and Russia’s propaganda tactics. She just turned 13 but she has been anxious about the world for a long time.

My other kid likes Roblox and fantasy novels. He does think about things like global warming, but in a more action-oriented, optimistic way.

I’m sure a lot of bright kids aren’t anxious but don’t assume intelligence means somebody is going to lead a better life.

Also, I did a ton to foster all this intelligence. I spoke to her like an adult since birth (people made fun of me but I really wanted her to start talking so I could know what she was thinking!), I gave her fish oil, I took her to lots of historical sites and museums, I basically did everything a parenting book would tell you to do to foster a child’s intellectual growth. When people saw how smart she was and asked me how I did it, I did focus on the idea that my daughters motivation to learn came from her, but I did tell them what I did. Now I wish I had said “just relax” (in a non-condescending way).

With the next kid I just let him watch truck videos all day.

Hmm. I have been letting my son watch truck and train videos too but I thought this meant I was doing great 🤣. I’m trying to foster his natural love of construction and vehicles, etc, but I’m a civil engineer so I was hoping it would be something we could share together. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go check out the nanny forum here sometime. That is a decent representation of most nannies. I assure you the nannies most of the people you know have are not the modern day equivalent of Jane Eyre, Mary Poppins, or Maria from Sound of Music. They are just ordinary women trying to pay their bills. Maybe they have a bachelors degree.

I think people mean the one-on-one care and attention given by a nanny as opposed to group care.

SAHMs aren’t Mary Poppins either.

No one claimed they are. But OP is saying she is jealous of all the people with amazing highly educated nannies. From what I see, that is not most nannies. In fact, I don’t know anyone that had a nanny that fits that description. If you get a nanny that isn’t on her phone all the time when you are away, that is pretty much the best most can hope for.

[Anonymous]

OP, the best things you can do for your child are:
- Teach them basic life skills
- Don't be a helicopter parent
- Teach them empathy by showing them empathy
- Expose them to a variety of people

A kid raised with these values is more likely to grow into an independent, motivated, kind and empathetic adult. Those qualities will get them way further ahead in life than a piano prodigy or a bi(or tri-, quad-, etc.) lingual kid who needs mommy to do his laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the best things you can do for your child are:
- Teach them basic life skills
- Don't be a helicopter parent
- Teach them empathy by showing them empathy
- Expose them to a variety of people

A kid raised with these values is more likely to grow into an independent, motivated, kind and empathetic adult. Those qualities will get them way further ahead in life than a piano prodigy or a bi(or tri-, quad-, etc.) lingual kid who needs mommy to do his laundry.

From a parent who does all of the extras listed in the OP - I completely agree! And most of these things require spending quality time with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go check out the nanny forum here sometime. That is a decent representation of most nannies. I assure you the nannies most of the people you know have are not the modern day equivalent of Jane Eyre, Mary Poppins, or Maria from Sound of Music. They are just ordinary women trying to pay their bills. Maybe they have a bachelors degree.

I think people mean the one-on-one care and attention given by a nanny as opposed to group care.

SAHMs aren’t Mary Poppins either.

No one claimed they are. But OP is saying she is jealous of all the people with amazing highly educated nannies. From what I see, that is not most nannies. In fact, I don’t know anyone that had a nanny that fits that description. If you get a nanny that isn’t on her phone all the time when you are away, that is pretty much the best most can hope for.

I do know an educated and cultured nanny like that and she’s the envy of our entire preschool class. Her little boy uses words like taciturn and cantilevered!! The 19 month old is speaking in full sentences. The preschool boy told me he wants to paint like Jackson Pollack. Crazy smart kids with an amazing nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go check out the nanny forum here sometime. That is a decent representation of most nannies. I assure you the nannies most of the people you know have are not the modern day equivalent of Jane Eyre, Mary Poppins, or Maria from Sound of Music. They are just ordinary women trying to pay their bills. Maybe they have a bachelors degree.

I think people mean the one-on-one care and attention given by a nanny as opposed to group care.

SAHMs aren’t Mary Poppins either.

No one claimed they are. But OP is saying she is jealous of all the people with amazing highly educated nannies. From what I see, that is not most nannies. In fact, I don’t know anyone that had a nanny that fits that description. If you get a nanny that isn’t on her phone all the time when you are away, that is pretty much the best most can hope for.

I do know an educated and cultured nanny like that and she’s the envy of our entire preschool class. Her little boy uses words like taciturn and cantilevered!! The 19 month old is speaking in full sentences. The preschool boy told me he wants to paint like Jackson Pollack. Crazy smart kids with an amazing nanny.

+1. There’s a second-career nanny like that in our neighborhood too. Stately, educated, adores her charge and completely engaged. Her charge’s vocabulary is unbelievable.