Baby shower…how late?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just embarrassing with all these ridiculous etiquette comments.

No, it is actually embarrassing to ask for presents in an impolite way.

You sound unhinged. I’m sorry you had no one who cared enough to throw you a shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just embarrassing with all these ridiculous etiquette comments.

No, it is actually embarrassing to ask for presents in an impolite way.

You’re embarrassing yourself now. Go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I delivered at 32 weeks.

Also, most people around the world do not celebrate the baby's arrival until it's arrived. It seems like tempting fate to do that. I know you don't want to hear such things, so I apologize, but if the shower event ends up not happening, hopefully it will provide some comfort to know that most women on earth would actually recoil from having one

Yes, it is a uniquely American thing.

[Anonymous]

Op here: thank you to the helpful comments! Shouldn’t be surprised by the crazies that came out too. Appreciate the helpful comments!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:32 weeks.

My mom and BFF hosted my shower no one cared.

They have manners and just didn’t tell you.

I think there are a handful of posters on DCUM who claim to be from "old Southern money" and who "do things properly, etiquette wise" without any nod to the irony that if they're really old Southern money that means they are the descendants of plantation owners with hundreds of real live slaves and if they think that makes them somehow the experts on what's acceptable and what's not, well, then that's just hilarious.

Everyone knows bridal showers and baby showers are events that are literally intended to give presents to the bride / mom. Yes, some people have their mom's best friend "host" it at their house while their mom is really the one planning it and footing the bill, but come on. It's SO OLD FASHIONED. Anyone under 65 who cares about this is the sort of person who joins the DAR and the Junior League of their city.

My grandmother was part of peak DC society and an absolute master of etiquette. One of her codes of conduct was that you never, EVER comment negatively on anyone’s behavior. The whole point of etiquette is to show respect and make people feel comfortable. Any sort of snark or gossip is a far worse breach of etiquette. If she were invited to a shower hosted by a family member, she would have shown graciousness, gratitude for being included, and happily purchased a gift off a registry.

The people who feel the need to comment on others’ etiquette and tackiness don’t truly understand what etiquette is. They think that they are part of the elite, but they’re not.

No sh!t Sherlock. I don’t think anyone needs you to tell them that telling someone that they’re a tacky old bag when they get an invite isn’t polite. This is an anonymous forum. Use your noggin.

YES. Was hoping this would get a classic snarky DCUM response. Keep on trolling 😉

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:32 weeks.

My mom and BFF hosted my shower no one cared.

They have manners and just didn’t tell you.

I think there are a handful of posters on DCUM who claim to be from "old Southern money" and who "do things properly, etiquette wise" without any nod to the irony that if they're really old Southern money that means they are the descendants of plantation owners with hundreds of real live slaves and if they think that makes them somehow the experts on what's acceptable and what's not, well, then that's just hilarious.

Everyone knows bridal showers and baby showers are events that are literally intended to give presents to the bride / mom. Yes, some people have their mom's best friend "host" it at their house while their mom is really the one planning it and footing the bill, but come on. It's SO OLD FASHIONED. Anyone under 65 who cares about this is the sort of person who joins the DAR and the Junior League of their city.

My grandmother was part of peak DC society and an absolute master of etiquette. One of her codes of conduct was that you never, EVER comment negatively on anyone’s behavior. The whole point of etiquette is to show respect and make people feel comfortable. Any sort of snark or gossip is a far worse breach of etiquette. If she were invited to a shower hosted by a family member, she would have shown graciousness, gratitude for being included, and happily purchased a gift off a registry.

The people who feel the need to comment on others’ etiquette and tackiness don’t truly understand what etiquette is. They think that they are part of the elite, but they’re not.

No sh!t Sherlock. I don’t think anyone needs you to tell them that telling someone that they’re a tacky old bag when they get an invite isn’t polite. This is an anonymous forum. Use your noggin.

YES. Was hoping this would get a classic snarky DCUM response. Keep on trolling 😉

YES when you post clap trap about how very well bred you are and your granny's impeccable manners and your pedigree to set us all straight, someone is going to tell you to GTFO yourself. So weird how that works. Baby showers haven't even been a thing that long. Doubt your oh so classy granny had one. People with actual breeding do not usually.

[Anonymous]

You all are crazy on here. Mom and sisters often throw showers because they have houses and budgets big enough. I was a bridesmaid at a lot of weddings between 27 and 32. I couldn't have afforded to host or even cohost all those showers. Same with the baby showers.

I held a baby shower for my best friend and invited everyone local (friends plus parents, grandparents and siblings). My friend's MIL was so upset that I hadn't invited another 50 of her friends and relatives (50 is not an exaggeration). She kept telling me at the shower how I should have rented a tent and had it catered, since she couldn't host the shower for her son and DIL. Moms have all these insane demands on showers, but want to foist the hosting and financing duties on young women.

I personally never had any showers because my mom and MIL believed they shouldn't host them. I felt pretty alone throughout my pregnancy and instead threw a "meet the baby" party without presents when the baby was born. I never want anyone else to feel that way, so I host baby showers a lot.

[Anonymous]

I think earlier is always better. I had mine at 29 weeks, because that's just went it worked out best for my BFF's schedule. She was throwing it, but was also getting married when I was 35 weeks, so we could do it later. Totally fine.

[Anonymous]

If anyone is interested in a compromise, I had a few showers for my first - I absolutely refused for my subsequent children - but I limited it to books as gifts and made sure it was at a location that was fun for others, with drinks for those that wanted them. I am also totally happy to go to a "traditional" diaper cake shower and bring a registry gift, and watch the presents get opened, but I was older, and had plenty of money to buy all the things I wanted, and it felt weird. I don't think people judge either way, but for me, I would not have felt okay with asking my friends to set up my nursery for me. At a certain point, you should do that yourself. The party is always great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:32 weeks.

My mom and BFF hosted my shower no one cared.

They have manners and just didn’t tell you.

I think there are a handful of posters on DCUM who claim to be from "old Southern money" and who "do things properly, etiquette wise" without any nod to the irony that if they're really old Southern money that means they are the descendants of plantation owners with hundreds of real live slaves and if they think that makes them somehow the experts on what's acceptable and what's not, well, then that's just hilarious.

Everyone knows bridal showers and baby showers are events that are literally intended to give presents to the bride / mom. Yes, some people have their mom's best friend "host" it at their house while their mom is really the one planning it and footing the bill, but come on. It's SO OLD FASHIONED. Anyone under 65 who cares about this is the sort of person who joins the DAR and the Junior League of their city.

My grandmother was part of peak DC society and an absolute master of etiquette. One of her codes of conduct was that you never, EVER comment negatively on anyone’s behavior. The whole point of etiquette is to show respect and make people feel comfortable. Any sort of snark or gossip is a far worse breach of etiquette. If she were invited to a shower hosted by a family member, she would have shown graciousness, gratitude for being included, and happily purchased a gift off a registry.

The people who feel the need to comment on others’ etiquette and tackiness don’t truly understand what etiquette is. They think that they are part of the elite, but they’re not.

No sh!t Sherlock. I don’t think anyone needs you to tell them that telling someone that they’re a tacky old bag when they get an invite isn’t polite. This is an anonymous forum. Use your noggin.

YES. Was hoping this would get a classic snarky DCUM response. Keep on trolling 😉

YES when you post clap trap about how very well bred you are and your granny's impeccable manners and your pedigree to set us all straight, someone is going to tell you to GTFO yourself. So weird how that works. Baby showers haven't even been a thing that long. Doubt your oh so classy granny had one. People with actual breeding do not usually.

Keep it coming babe Watching the crazies is the main reason most of us are even on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:32 weeks.

My mom and BFF hosted my shower no one cared.

They have manners and just didn’t tell you.

Who? My friends? They don’t care, and in my non-white culture no one cares about these dumb rules. My mom wanted to be a co-host and I was happy to have her be one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:32 weeks.

My mom and BFF hosted my shower no one cared.

They have manners and just didn’t tell you.

I think there are a handful of posters on DCUM who claim to be from "old Southern money" and who "do things properly, etiquette wise" without any nod to the irony that if they're really old Southern money that means they are the descendants of plantation owners with hundreds of real live slaves and if they think that makes them somehow the experts on what's acceptable and what's not, well, then that's just hilarious.

Everyone knows bridal showers and baby showers are events that are literally intended to give presents to the bride / mom. Yes, some people have their mom's best friend "host" it at their house while their mom is really the one planning it and footing the bill, but come on. It's SO OLD FASHIONED. Anyone under 65 who cares about this is the sort of person who joins the DAR and the Junior League of their city.

My grandmother was part of peak DC society and an absolute master of etiquette. One of her codes of conduct was that you never, EVER comment negatively on anyone’s behavior. The whole point of etiquette is to show respect and make people feel comfortable. Any sort of snark or gossip is a far worse breach of etiquette. If she were invited to a shower hosted by a family member, she would have shown graciousness, gratitude for being included, and happily purchased a gift off a registry.

The people who feel the need to comment on others’ etiquette and tackiness don’t truly understand what etiquette is. They think that they are part of the elite, but they’re not.

No sh!t Sherlock. I don’t think anyone needs you to tell them that telling someone that they’re a tacky old bag when they get an invite isn’t polite. This is an anonymous forum. Use your noggin.

YES. Was hoping this would get a classic snarky DCUM response. Keep on trolling 😉

YES when you post clap trap about how very well bred you are and your granny's impeccable manners and your pedigree to set us all straight, someone is going to tell you to GTFO yourself. So weird how that works. Baby showers haven't even been a thing that long. Doubt your oh so classy granny had one. People with actual breeding do not usually.

Keep it coming babe Watching the crazies is the main reason most of us are even on DCUM.

Please! Think of grandmere! Stop with this name calling!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be fair regardless of who hosts, showers are a “present grab”

Op here: I truly don’t care. We tried for this baby for over 3 years and had multiple losses. I am so happy to be at a point where I am thinking about my baby shower. Anyone who thinks it’s a gift grab, can gladly not come. However, the 28 people on my list will 100% all be happy to support me as they know what we went through.

Then they’d send you a present without having to come and sit and watch you open gifts. Also, I wouldn’t be doing this at all with Covid right before giving birth, in general.

OP here: give me a break. I’m inviting 28 people and it’ll be outside. But even if not, I’d still plan on having it. We are 2 years into Covid, it’s not going anywhere. People are having 100+‘people weddings now and you want to say I shouldn’t have a small shower? Hahah ok

Yeah, no, not right before giving birth, they’re not unless they’re dense AF. Have you actually talked to your OB about this? Good lord.

Op here: sure have! I’m vaccinated AND had Covid in September before getting pregnant. He was 100% fine with me having a shower. Again, I went to two last summer and am going to one next month and one end of April. You REALLY think people aren’t having showers? You’re funny.

Well, I got Covid last year while pregnant from a shower with 15 people despite being vaccinated and it was awful and I was hospitalized, but you sound very in the know about absolutely everything, so I’m not sure why you even asked.

And I got COVID while pregnant despite being vaccinated and I was perfectly fine and not hospitalized. The pendelum swings both ways. PP, go find a book to read or a friend to talk to. People can ask opinions, receive opinions, and still decide they don't care about any of said opinions.

Np here.

[Anonymous]

Hope you have a great shower OP.
FWIW, only after I moved here to the States did I hear about this "immediate family only should host a shower" bs. Etiquette is NOT universal.