College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her values won't align?

My French cousin went to Duke. My French-Vietnamese nephew is going to Harvard. I went to grad school at UMD, and most students in my department were from India and China.

People, if foreigners can uproot themselves, cross oceans, leave their families, learn English well enough to study at a high level and make it in the USA, your precious little snowflakes had better get with the program.

Harvard, Duke and UMD are not exactly southern schools in areas surrounded by people who might be less tolerant of folks that don't look and talk like themselves.

You obviously don’t know anyone from Boston.

[Anonymous]

If she's going to be at a school for undergrad AND med school, I think she should like the place.

[Anonymous]

NP here - if your daughter is anything like mine, I think what you mean when you call her a rebel is that she has her own mind. I have learned that the best course is to let my daughter take the lead on making her own decisions. If I weigh in, it will automatically taint the process and she will choose something else just to asset independence and be contrarian.

I think the most you should do is lay out facts, maybe even pros and cons, and maybe even outline the long game, but then you have to step aside and let her choose.

I personally think kids are too young to have real concrete long term plans and for most, thoughts of debt and grad school are too far off, and plans highly subject to change. Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.

If you can afford to send her to undergrad anywhere she wants to go, that is the important part. If going to grad school is important and she wants to calculate how to maximize her money she may come to the conclusion that you seem to prefer.

[Anonymous]

*assert, not asset ^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her values won't align?

My French cousin went to Duke. My French-Vietnamese nephew is going to Harvard. I went to grad school at UMD, and most students in my department were from India and China.

People, if foreigners can uproot themselves, cross oceans, leave their families, learn English well enough to study at a high level and make it in the USA, your precious little snowflakes had better get with the program.

Harvard, Duke and UMD are not exactly southern schools in areas surrounded by people who might be less tolerant of folks that don't look and talk like themselves.

You obviously don’t know anyone from Boston.

I went to Harvard and worked in Boston. It's the most racist city I've ever lived in