A friend has published a book--I dislike it. What to say?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Methinks you use the word methinks on Nextdoor. |
Anonymous
+10000 Seriously. Congratulate her because it really is a great accomplishment! Just be happy for her. You don’t have to provide any kind of criticism or commentary. |
Anonymous
NP here but same situation with a friend. Her book was on her adoption and vilified both her birth mom and adoptive mom. The book accused her dead, adoptive mother as being self-absorbed and narcissistic. Sadly, friend exhibits with her own daughters, putting her needs above theirs in dramatic fashion. During pandemic, they sold their multimillion house for a rural multimillion house so the mom could live out her dream to live near horses. My friend had never taken horseback riding lessons, and her middle school daughters are now homeschooled. Can’t wait to read their books… |
Anonymous
|
DCUM compliment that shows you do did a semester abroad in Italy eating pasta & fooling around with Italian guys who still live with their mother:
"Brava!" |
Anonymous
| Find some things you do like about the book. I mean, c'mon, you can find something to compliment. If you have kids, you're used to this. |
Anonymous
| You just say you enjoyed reading it and you're so happy they got a book deal. Done. You don't have to give a full literature review. |
Anonymous
Sounds like jealousy to me, too. Friends of authors do not have to read their books. But you were curious… and it sounds to me like you were somehow happy/validated/relived to find that you didn’t like it. Because if you had liked it, the jealousy might be even bigger….or maybe your brain is just trying to cover for you so that you don’t have to admit that she did something impressive? Jealousy is usually a map. Writers live in fear of people they know who are going to try and comment on the quality of their work. Writing a book is a big accomplishment. Getting it published is huge. But there’s a giant vulnerability there, too, for writers. The least helpful thing you can do for an artist of any sort is critique their work—there are people whose careers revolve around critiquing writers’ work. If you are a friend, you focus on support. Congrats. I’m proud of you. It’s a huge accomplishment. How did you do it with 2 kids at home?! Etc. But to be honest, you don’t sound like a particularly good friend and you definitely don’t sound happy for her. |
Anonymous
| Op, you're nothing but a mean girl who wanted to post on here about how bad her book is. Anyone with half a brain cell can figure out how to fake a compliment |
Anonymous
Lol are we in the same neighborhood/on the same next door? |
Anonymous
| With friends like op, who needs enemies? |
Anonymous
For me, it's the people who I give a copy of my book to who say absolutely nothing that hurt the most. This includes my own parents and also some close friends. My first book wasn't a family tell-all or a steamy romance novel. It was a non fiction popularized spinoff of my PhD dissertation. I know it's not beach reading, but it was written for a general audience and received positive reviews in a few mainstream newspapers for being "accessible." The only time my parents feign interest in my work is when neighbors or a church friend see a review or an article I wrote and ask how I'm doing. My parents' next door neighbor, however, is my biggest fan  They asked for an autograph in their copy that was clearly read. Somewhere in between would be fine.
|
Anonymous
|
You sound mighty jealous, OP. Here, it took me three seconds to think of:
"I just finished your book, and am so amazed that I'm holding a book written by my friend in my hands. I loved the scenes where they were in Paris--I could practically taste the croissants! And there was definitely some heat--I know tons of readers are going to love this book!" |
Anonymous
|
Say to her that you admire her accomplishment that her hard work paid off and that she should be very proud of herself and that you're really proud of her.
And ask for a signed copy and ask if she has more books in the works. That's what you say. If you're really her friend. |
Anonymous
| Congratulate her for being published. That's a big deal. You don't have to lie or comment about the book's quality. People have different tastes. Its a big accomplishment and you should be happy for your friend. The only exception would be if she plagiarized your work and bullied you, gossiped about you, and pretended to be your friend. |
Anonymous
|
Another author here with a different opinion from the PP author.
I actually don't mind *at all* if people don't read. The most uncomfortable thing for me is when someone "apologizes" for not having read it. It's ok, I don't need you to read it! Best thing to say: "I'm so happy for you!" Other kinds of commentary can honestly be awkward due to the fact that 99 percent of authors are neurotic: "I liked it, but not as much as your first!" Rational me: cool, everyone has preferences Author me: omg I am getting worse as an author, how is that possible! "I liked it even more than your first!" Rational me: cool, everyone has preferences Author me: omg, my first book was SO personal so did I do a bad job of it? "Do you have an idea for your next book?" Rational me: that's nice, they're interested in my career Author me (if answer is no): *dies inside* Author me (if answer is yes): *mumbles something vague* The LEAST helpful thing is criticism about a published book. Unless there's a factual error or a typo that could be fixed in a reprinting, don't tell me. Don't tell me if you didn't like a character. (In fact, maybe consider the possibility that I didn't want them to be "likeable"! Books need bad guys, folks. It's the way stories work.) Don't tell me if you think that my genre is stupid, or pointless, or derivative. If you truly WANT to be helpful to an author, here's some ways to do it: - Buy a book. Or buy it on audible. Or check it out from the library. (This is super helpful because libraries buy a bunch of books from authors who are popular at their branches! Do not ever feel weird about checking something out from the library. Libraries rule.) - Go to a book launch/event if it's local to you - Post a picture of the book on social media. There's some marketing factoid that's often quoted about people needing to see a book cover an average of 7 times before they decide to read/buy. You don't have to post that you liked it, you can just say "I'm so excited to read my friend Larla's new book!" That's gold. - Review on Goodreads, if you have an account there - Review on Amazon ... many people don't realize that you don't even have to have purchased the book from Amazon to review there. As long as you meet some minimum of $ purchases you can review it. Obviously you should read the book first. And if it's your friend, don't trash it. But even negative reviews are technically helpful, because the algorithm will start recommending books to readers after they have a certain number of reviews (I think it's 50) And one more thing... - do NOT under any circumstances download a "free" book unless it is from your library. I'm talking about the sketchy sites, you know the ones. Those are completely trash and besides being illegal, they undermine the entire book industry. For some reason, several people who are supposedly book lovers have bragged to me about how they do this. Do not be that person. |