Moving because of declining schools

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My takeaway might be that something about a big public middle school doesn’t work for your specific child. I wouldn’t assume moving to another large public school (which let’s face it that’s what we have here in this area) will fix it. I’m saying that without knowing your particular issues.

There are options within APS. Have you looked into programs at the Career Center?

Our issue is that when we were elem we had pull out GT programs, and then it switched to pushing and was worthless. My kids are so unchallenged and bored and there is no differentiation until high school, teachers spend all their time on remedial learning and discipline. So much discipline. WL should offer challenging classes, but the crazy super size high school with too little common space worries me.

Career Center would be a better fit if our kids were vocationally minded, but far from that.

There are more programs at Career Center than people realize.

There is definitely differentiation in math. I think if that is your issue, find the money for private. But I would also wait out the effects of the pandemic. Yes, the bright kids whose parents kept things up during the pandemic, now those kids are a bit bored and not challenged. The teachers have a lot to sort through emotionally and academically with kids back in school.

Yes, we are in advanced math. The boredom and frustration was present all through 5th and 6th once GT went away. Basically spent all day reading to themselves waiting for rest of class to do their thing.

For what it is worth I went to public schools like this. I enjoyed the extra reading/relaxation time and I think I turned out ok--another JD added to the list in the DMV.

If your kid isn't unhappy with their lot a change might be more disruptive than just riding it out.

Same. I had some underwhelming teachers. And some good ones. And I went to a top university and kept up completely fine.

The experience of school is a lot more than the academic part too. You don't even mention that OP. Is your kid involved in activities? Part of their community? Friends? Happy socially? Those are equally important.

Social is a big part of it; she prioritizes school and learning, and feels like none of her peers do, that majority of kids don’t want to be there and would rather do sports or video games. I assume she maybe hasn’t met her “people” but without academic tracking or academic clubs (which there really aren’t any at our school) she has no way to find. Sports people find each other in the mass of team sports schools offer, but kids with other interests are in the wind.

Have her try model UN. That is starting now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everything is a mess. There was/is a major pandemic.

Uprooting your lives for some other public school is not going to help.

Try private and see if it's better is really the best advice.

Sure, but if its better, then we are on the hook for $100k+ or do ANOTHER school change.

OP, what is it you want to hear from people?
If you don't want "ANOTHER school change," then don't change.
If you want to try something else, then go.
What is the point of your original post?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Your precious snowflakes will survive and thrive in Arlington schools, and it all will be behind you before you know it. Chill out, OP. Chill out, DCUM.

My child is definitely not thriving, and he’s still in 5th. Thanks though.

Maybe the problem is your child -- or you -- and not the school system's. Have you ever thought about that?

Why so hostile? If it works for your child, so be it. My child is not an experiment and it is my job to insure they become they’re best selves and can thrive in adulthood. Mediocre teachers and schools do not fit into that mold. But you do you.

If becoming their "best selves" means becoming a Karen like their mother -- clutching her pearls in worry that her special children aren't getting the very best in everything -- then you're on the right track.

Seriously, what is WRONG with all of you women???

And a name caller to, you are the exact reason I would remove my child from an environment. You are obviously throwing racial insults by using the Karen term (my child is biracial) and you have hostilities towards parents who place their child’s needs above their own. That does not make me racially insensitive that makes me an involved parent. Perhaps you should try that instead of criticizing those who work hard and strive to do their best.

Racial insults? How the heck is she, or anyone here, supposed to know what your race is or that your kid is biracial? and what the freakin' matter does it make?
If you already know what your kid needs and they aren't getting it, then go do what you need to do. Nobody else cares if you stay or go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hi OP. I dont think you will find better elsewhere, I firmly believe this is not a local issue but a nationwide issue. Schools have been underfunded for decades, classes are too big, mainstreaming has been problematic is some cases (not all - but I do not think we serve all children with challenges well by placing them in a NT classroom. Some, yes, but not all), and we have made disastrous curriculum changes.

I agree for the most part that it’s not going to be much better elsewhere. If moving to Loudon would increase your commute significantly I think it would have worse consequences than a few years of boredom waiting to get to high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your precious snowflakes will survive and thrive in Arlington schools, and it all will be behind you before you know it. Chill out, OP. Chill out, DCUM.

My child is definitely not thriving, and he’s still in 5th. Thanks though.

Maybe the problem is your child -- or you -- and not the school system's. Have you ever thought about that?

Why so hostile? If it works for your child, so be it. My child is not an experiment and it is my job to insure they become they’re best selves and can thrive in adulthood. Mediocre teachers and schools do not fit into that mold. But you do you.

If becoming their "best selves" means becoming a Karen like their mother -- clutching her pearls in worry that her special children aren't getting the very best in everything -- then you're on the right track.

Seriously, what is WRONG with all of you women???

And a name caller to, you are the exact reason I would remove my child from an environment. You are obviously throwing racial insults by using the Karen term (my child is biracial) and you have hostilities towards parents who place their child’s needs above their own. That does not make me racially insensitive that makes me an involved parent. Perhaps you should try that instead of criticizing those who work hard and strive to do their best.

Racial insults? How the heck is she, or anyone here, supposed to know what your race is or that your kid is biracial? and what the freakin' matter does it make?
If you already know what your kid needs and they aren't getting it, then go do what you need to do. Nobody else cares if you stay or go.

Karen is a white lady slur. How can you not know that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your precious snowflakes will survive and thrive in Arlington schools, and it all will be behind you before you know it. Chill out, OP. Chill out, DCUM.

My child is definitely not thriving, and he’s still in 5th. Thanks though.

Maybe the problem is your child -- or you -- and not the school system's. Have you ever thought about that?

Why so hostile? If it works for your child, so be it. My child is not an experiment and it is my job to insure they become they’re best selves and can thrive in adulthood. Mediocre teachers and schools do not fit into that mold. But you do you.

If becoming their "best selves" means becoming a Karen like their mother -- clutching her pearls in worry that her special children aren't getting the very best in everything -- then you're on the right track.

Seriously, what is WRONG with all of you women???

And a name caller to, you are the exact reason I would remove my child from an environment. You are obviously throwing racial insults by using the Karen term (my child is biracial) and you have hostilities towards parents who place their child’s needs above their own. That does not make me racially insensitive that makes me an involved parent. Perhaps you should try that instead of criticizing those who work hard and strive to do their best.

Racial insults? How the heck is she, or anyone here, supposed to know what your race is or that your kid is biracial? and what the freakin' matter does it make?
If you already know what your kid needs and they aren't getting it, then go do what you need to do. Nobody else cares if you stay or go.

Karen is a white lady slur. How can you not know that?

It's an insult; but not a racial slur. Just because it pertains particularly to the rich white lady "clutching her pearls" doesn't make it "racist." It's more about affluence and entitlement than race. Of course, everyone has to take every insult as pure racism these days. And if it's such a racist term, there was no need to point out that your child is biracial to assert the racism accusation.

[Anonymous]

To be honest OP it’s not gonna get much better if you move to let’s say fairfax county. They seem to have worse issues than APS. Maybe try Falls Church? Schools are smaller I hear and parents generally seem satisfied. If I were you I would wait it out (put your kid in AOPS or something like that that will provide more of a challenge). It gets better in high school. If not there is always the option of private for middle school and then going back to APS for high school.

[Anonymous]

Yes, moving can happen very fast. You can have keys in hand in under 2 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway might be that something about a big public middle school doesn’t work for your specific child. I wouldn’t assume moving to another large public school (which let’s face it that’s what we have here in this area) will fix it. I’m saying that without knowing your particular issues.

There are options within APS. Have you looked into programs at the Career Center?

Our issue is that when we were elem we had pull out GT programs, and then it switched to pushing and was worthless. My kids are so unchallenged and bored and there is no differentiation until high school, teachers spend all their time on remedial learning and discipline. So much discipline. WL should offer challenging classes, but the crazy super size high school with too little common space worries me.

Career Center would be a better fit if our kids were vocationally minded, but far from that.

There are more programs at Career Center than people realize.

There is definitely differentiation in math. I think if that is your issue, find the money for private. But I would also wait out the effects of the pandemic. Yes, the bright kids whose parents kept things up during the pandemic, now those kids are a bit bored and not challenged. The teachers have a lot to sort through emotionally and academically with kids back in school.

Yes, we are in advanced math. The boredom and frustration was present all through 5th and 6th once GT went away. Basically spent all day reading to themselves waiting for rest of class to do their thing.

Are you talking about during virtual school? I have a current 6th grader who was in 5th grade last year. Also GT. My kid did not spend all day reading to themselves.

But it sounds like you're not well served by public schools at this moment in time. I wouldn't move though. Moving is not going to solve it.

5th and 6th were pre-pandemic; 7th was pandemic year. They all were meh at best. So would love to hear what you child did when the teacher worked with the rest of class on work she had already completed? This wasn't just my DD, I heard it from multiple parents (other GT students). Virtual was actually better in that regard, as it gave our DD a lot more options for what to do in her downtime than just sit and read.

Ok, so my kid was 4th pre-pandemic and she and a few of her classmates worked on a long-term math project together. So when they were done with work in math they went and did that. The group project options had been pushed in by GT as an option for the kids. You didn't have to be GT to participate, which was the model at my kids' elementary school the whole way through. I don't want to go into too many details on the project as it might identify me, but my kid was super into it. A lot of creativity and leadership skills. The kids liked it so much they worked on it during recess even.

Is my child occupied every second? I'm sure not. Sounds like you want tracking - completely separate classes. You should have gone AAP in FCPS but it sounds like your kid is too old. I would just wait it out and try W-L. I have heard good things about it. Do the IB program. If you have younger kids still, move to FCPS and get into AAP.

Not tracking, just a teachers who have enough classtime, ratios, and resources to engage my child with something at their level. They meet the class baseline and that's it, they are left on their own. She doesn't need a separate class, your project is exactly the type of thing, especially a group project. Maybe our GT was just bad that last few years? I feel like they did nothing compared to prior years projects and enrichment. I mean, these are motivated kids, all you need is to give them an idea, a framework, and latitude and they will go at it. But a single student sitting at their desk, what can they kick off on their own without any resources?

So maybe your starting point is figuring out what your GT person at your kids' school is actually doing.

I met with her many times, and she said she was "developing" something and popping into the kids classes. My kid didn't even know she was the GT teacher. It is ridiculous.

I’ve never told the kids who the gifted teacher is when she visits. She’s just a teacher in our room doing a lesson or pulling kids out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your precious snowflakes will survive and thrive in Arlington schools, and it all will be behind you before you know it. Chill out, OP. Chill out, DCUM.

My child is definitely not thriving, and he’s still in 5th. Thanks though.

Maybe the problem is your child -- or you -- and not the school system's. Have you ever thought about that?

Why so hostile? If it works for your child, so be it. My child is not an experiment and it is my job to insure they become they’re best selves and can thrive in adulthood. Mediocre teachers and schools do not fit into that mold. But you do you.

So move, go private, or homeschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have what sounds like somewhat similar kids to yours, so I'll offer our experience/perspective.

I think it's a reality of education that the middle school years can be challenging. My kids also experienced more differentiation in elementary school, and there was a noticeable difference in middle school. There is a real nationwide challenge to undo the truly problematic nature of strict "tracking" while at the same time providing a high level of challenge for students going in with high academic achievement. On top of that you have all of the other social-emotional challenges that goes with the onset of adolescence. These are going to be some baked in realities that you will encounter at any school, in any division.

On the other hand, when you get to high school, the larger number of course offerings and the introduction of AP (or IB) courses means those seeking higher levels of challenge and rigor can get it, and get it really customized for them. (Perhaps a kid is really eager for advanced math, but not English--no problem!) The large variety of clubs, sports, and activities that come with high school also create really valuable opportunities for both intellectual and social/emotional growth.

Your post indicated some trepidation about the size of the school. In our experience (not at Wakefield but at a very large HS) was that the size was not an issue. Our kids weren't dealing with thousands of students. They were dealing with the 20-25 students (and sometimes under 20) students in their classes, and the students in their after-school activities. They had their circle, and the size of the school was actually a benefit because it meant more options for courses and activities, so they could find what truly interested them.

TL,DR. Middle school is just a few years. It's gets better in high school. Absolutely no need to move.

Well said about HS school size. Have 2 kids at W-L and they absolutely love it.

[Anonymous]

Try band. Orchestra. Choir. Lots of kids who don’t play sports find their crew in one of those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway might be that something about a big public middle school doesn’t work for your specific child. I wouldn’t assume moving to another large public school (which let’s face it that’s what we have here in this area) will fix it. I’m saying that without knowing your particular issues.

There are options within APS. Have you looked into programs at the Career Center?

Our issue is that when we were elem we had pull out GT programs, and then it switched to pushing and was worthless. My kids are so unchallenged and bored and there is no differentiation until high school, teachers spend all their time on remedial learning and discipline. So much discipline. WL should offer challenging classes, but the crazy super size high school with too little common space worries me.

Career Center would be a better fit if our kids were vocationally minded, but far from that.

There are more programs at Career Center than people realize.

There is definitely differentiation in math. I think if that is your issue, find the money for private. But I would also wait out the effects of the pandemic. Yes, the bright kids whose parents kept things up during the pandemic, now those kids are a bit bored and not challenged. The teachers have a lot to sort through emotionally and academically with kids back in school.

Yes, we are in advanced math. The boredom and frustration was present all through 5th and 6th once GT went away. Basically spent all day reading to themselves waiting for rest of class to do their thing.

Are you talking about during virtual school? I have a current 6th grader who was in 5th grade last year. Also GT. My kid did not spend all day reading to themselves.

But it sounds like you're not well served by public schools at this moment in time. I wouldn't move though. Moving is not going to solve it.

5th and 6th were pre-pandemic; 7th was pandemic year. They all were meh at best. So would love to hear what you child did when the teacher worked with the rest of class on work she had already completed? This wasn't just my DD, I heard it from multiple parents (other GT students). Virtual was actually better in that regard, as it gave our DD a lot more options for what to do in her downtime than just sit and read.

Ok, so my kid was 4th pre-pandemic and she and a few of her classmates worked on a long-term math project together. So when they were done with work in math they went and did that. The group project options had been pushed in by GT as an option for the kids. You didn't have to be GT to participate, which was the model at my kids' elementary school the whole way through. I don't want to go into too many details on the project as it might identify me, but my kid was super into it. A lot of creativity and leadership skills. The kids liked it so much they worked on it during recess even.

Is my child occupied every second? I'm sure not. Sounds like you want tracking - completely separate classes. You should have gone AAP in FCPS but it sounds like your kid is too old. I would just wait it out and try W-L. I have heard good things about it. Do the IB program. If you have younger kids still, move to FCPS and get into AAP.

Not tracking, just a teachers who have enough classtime, ratios, and resources to engage my child with something at their level. They meet the class baseline and that's it, they are left on their own. She doesn't need a separate class, your project is exactly the type of thing, especially a group project. Maybe our GT was just bad that last few years? I feel like they did nothing compared to prior years projects and enrichment. I mean, these are motivated kids, all you need is to give them an idea, a framework, and latitude and they will go at it. But a single student sitting at their desk, what can they kick off on their own without any resources?

So maybe your starting point is figuring out what your GT person at your kids' school is actually doing.

I met with her many times, and she said she was "developing" something and popping into the kids classes. My kid didn't even know she was the GT teacher. It is ridiculous.

I’ve never told the kids who the gifted teacher is when she visits. She’s just a teacher in our room doing a lesson or pulling kids out.

The gifted kids figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway might be that something about a big public middle school doesn’t work for your specific child. I wouldn’t assume moving to another large public school (which let’s face it that’s what we have here in this area) will fix it. I’m saying that without knowing your particular issues.

There are options within APS. Have you looked into programs at the Career Center?

Our issue is that when we were elem we had pull out GT programs, and then it switched to pushing and was worthless. My kids are so unchallenged and bored and there is no differentiation until high school, teachers spend all their time on remedial learning and discipline. So much discipline. WL should offer challenging classes, but the crazy super size high school with too little common space worries me.

Career Center would be a better fit if our kids were vocationally minded, but far from that.

There are more programs at Career Center than people realize.

There is definitely differentiation in math. I think if that is your issue, find the money for private. But I would also wait out the effects of the pandemic. Yes, the bright kids whose parents kept things up during the pandemic, now those kids are a bit bored and not challenged. The teachers have a lot to sort through emotionally and academically with kids back in school.

Yes, we are in advanced math. The boredom and frustration was present all through 5th and 6th once GT went away. Basically spent all day reading to themselves waiting for rest of class to do their thing.

For what it is worth I went to public schools like this. I enjoyed the extra reading/relaxation time and I think I turned out ok--another JD added to the list in the DMV.

If your kid isn't unhappy with their lot a change might be more disruptive than just riding it out.

Same. I had some underwhelming teachers. And some good ones. And I went to a top university and kept up completely fine.

The experience of school is a lot more than the academic part too. You don't even mention that OP. Is your kid involved in activities? Part of their community? Friends? Happy socially? Those are equally important.

Social is a big part of it; she prioritizes school and learning, and feels like none of her peers do, that majority of kids don’t want to be there and would rather do sports or video games. I assume she maybe hasn’t met her “people” but without academic tracking or academic clubs (which there really aren’t any at our school) she has no way to find. Sports people find each other in the mass of team sports schools offer, but kids with other interests are in the wind.

You have lost me a bit now OP. What APS middle school has no academic after school clubs? No band?? We have young democrats and a math club. A game club. And more. Try something. The idea that your child is surrounded by a bunch of knuckle draggers who don’t care about school and can’t find anyone to connect with just doesn’t add up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your precious snowflakes will survive and thrive in Arlington schools, and it all will be behind you before you know it. Chill out, OP. Chill out, DCUM.

My child is definitely not thriving, and he’s still in 5th. Thanks though.

Maybe the problem is your child -- or you -- and not the school system's. Have you ever thought about that?

The problem is not your child, OP. APS is just not that great, but people grossly overpaid for houses in Arlington, so they have to say it is. BTW, nasty people like PP who would insult a child just to prove that they are right make me so glad we moved out of Arlington and the DC area.