mo money, mo problems?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raising humble, hard working and appreciative kids

yup...have this problem. Oftentimes I question if we did something wrong raising our kids, who BTY are doing well...hard working, etc. However, I find their
selfish and entitled attitudes highly disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it can be an issue for those who grew up with less and are the only ones in their families that make a good living. Everyone wants (and needs) financial help. It's harder to save and get ahead financially without feeling guilty.

Very much agree with this. There are many hands outstretched and a pretty staggering level of entitlement to other people’s money. We have helped many members of our family but eventually it grates on you, particularly for people who make bad choices.

So would you rather not have money, and be in the same situation as them?

Of course not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it can be an issue for those who grew up with less and are the only ones in their families that make a good living. Everyone wants (and needs) financial help. It's harder to save and get ahead financially without feeling guilty.

Very much agree with this. There are many hands outstretched and a pretty staggering level of entitlement to other people’s money. We have helped many members of our family but eventually it grates on you, particularly for people who make bad choices.

So would you rather not have money, and be in the same situation as them?

Of course not.

This gets at the crux of the eyerolls: no person who is wealthy would ever trade places with a poor person. Ever.

I'm not talking middle class, I'm talking POOR and all the ancillary issues that come with being poor: lack of healthcare, lack of nutritious foods, exposure to violence, lack of reliable transportation, dysfunctional schools, disruptive housing environment, interactions with law enforcement, etc. And trying to deal with this while holding down multiple jobs!

All the "complications" of financial advisors, accountants, etc are NOTHING compared to living in poverty. Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sting (of the band The Police) said he plans to give most of his money away and not saddle his children with "an albatross around the neck" which is what a huge sum of money can be.

You have failed as a parent, if you've raised children that cannot deal with the level of wealth you've managed to accumulate in your life. Human progress is precisely preparing our children to be able to take what we've accomplished and build on top of that. We would all be wearing loincloths and living in straw hats if we didn't want to saddle our children with the albatross of woven clothes and brick houses. Just shows you that many very successful people are terrible parents and have failed at one of the most important things that give their life meaning.

Well then, a lot of wealthy people fail as parents. And I think it's because getting too much, too soon can hurt a kid. It's not normal or natural, and plenty of trust-fund kids end up messed up because they don't really have to work at anything. There's giving your kids a good start, and then giving them something that's too much for most people to handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sting (of the band The Police) said he plans to give most of his money away and not saddle his children with "an albatross around the neck" which is what a huge sum of money can be.

You have failed as a parent, if you've raised children that cannot deal with the level of wealth you've managed to accumulate in your life. Human progress is precisely preparing our children to be able to take what we've accomplished and build on top of that. We would all be wearing loincloths and living in straw hats if we didn't want to saddle our children with the albatross of woven clothes and brick houses. Just shows you that many very successful people are terrible parents and have failed at one of the most important things that give their life meaning.

Well then, a lot of wealthy people fail as parents. And I think it's because getting too much, too soon can hurt a kid. It's not normal or natural, and plenty of trust-fund kids end up messed up because they don't really have to work at anything. There's giving your kids a good start, and then giving them something that's too much for most people to handle.

I hope I don't out myself here.
I know a LOT of people who have inherited massive amounts of familial wealth. Usually, at age 40 or 45, the real money comes in through the trusts. Each and every one of them is now in the 45-50 age range - and lost/purposeless, flight, meandering. No job. Men golf all day, women shop and redecorate the house. They always knew the money was coming. And while they had jobs in their 30s, they never really worked that hard. Never needed to have real grit or ambition. Why? Because they knew they had 30, 60 or 100+ million coming their way. Yes, they are very philanthropic people. But their lives are just so boring. And they are boring. They don't really have a purpose.

While a career shouldn't be your purpose, it does help guide/focus/help you define your identity in those important 30-40 age ranges. The jobs these folks had - it was just a holding pattern....

[Anonymous]

*shrug*. As a trust fund beneficiary who knows lots of other TF kids, this has not been my experience.

Most TF people I know either are high earners or are not working to focus on raising their kids. I make $350,000 and the only thing I will do differently than any other earner is retire sooner. I will be done at 53.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sting (of the band The Police) said he plans to give most of his money away and not saddle his children with "an albatross around the neck" which is what a huge sum of money can be.

You have failed as a parent, if you've raised children that cannot deal with the level of wealth you've managed to accumulate in your life. Human progress is precisely preparing our children to be able to take what we've accomplished and build on top of that. We would all be wearing loincloths and living in straw hats if we didn't want to saddle our children with the albatross of woven clothes and brick houses. Just shows you that many very successful people are terrible parents and have failed at one of the most important things that give their life meaning.

Well then, a lot of wealthy people fail as parents. And I think it's because getting too much, too soon can hurt a kid. It's not normal or natural, and plenty of trust-fund kids end up messed up because they don't really have to work at anything. There's giving your kids a good start, and then giving them something that's too much for most people to handle.

I hope I don't out myself here.
I know a LOT of people who have inherited massive amounts of familial wealth. Usually, at age 40 or 45, the real money comes in through the trusts. Each and every one of them is now in the 45-50 age range - and lost/purposeless, flight, meandering. No job. Men golf all day, women shop and redecorate the house. They always knew the money was coming. And while they had jobs in their 30s, they never really worked that hard. Never needed to have real grit or ambition. Why? Because they knew they had 30, 60 or 100+ million coming their way. Yes, they are very philanthropic people. But their lives are just so boring. And they are boring. They don't really have a purpose.

While a career shouldn't be your purpose, it does help guide/focus/help you define your identity in those important 30-40 age ranges. The jobs these folks had - it was just a holding pattern....

While depressing, this resonates with me. I fit this mold and others I know do, too (maybe just delete a 0, but still). If I could go back in time, I'd tell my parents to keep their cards closer until I was older! I certainly plan to do so with my offspring.

[Anonymous]

My deadbeat brother asks several times a year for us to "invest" 35 or 40K in his land ventures. I just say, we don't do business with family. Other than that, more money is no problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are no downsides.

Money Can’t cure cancer but it can buy better healthcare. It cant make your kids smarter but it can buy a better education. It cant stop global warming but it can let you vacation in better climates.

Regarding global warming, I do think that those who are comfortable and beyond have a responsibility to the greater good to make choices and model good stewardship of the environment. This can especially apply to car choices and travel decisions, as well as in conversations at work and in the community. No matter how much money families have, we all need a healthy planet to thrive in, and our kids and grandkids need us to consider this now. Unless you're Elon and planning to colonize Mars or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it can be an issue for those who grew up with less and are the only ones in their families that make a good living. Everyone wants (and needs) financial help. It's harder to save and get ahead financially without feeling guilty.

Very much agree with this. There are many hands outstretched and a pretty staggering level of entitlement to other people’s money. We have helped many members of our family but eventually it grates on you, particularly for people who make bad choices.

So would you rather not have money, and be in the same situation as them?

Of course not.

This gets at the crux of the eyerolls: no person who is wealthy would ever trade places with a poor person. Ever.

I'm not talking middle class, I'm talking POOR and all the ancillary issues that come with being poor: lack of healthcare, lack of nutritious foods, exposure to violence, lack of reliable transportation, dysfunctional schools, disruptive housing environment, interactions with law enforcement, etc. And trying to deal with this while holding down multiple jobs!

All the "complications" of financial advisors, accountants, etc are NOTHING compared to living in poverty. Give me a break.

I don’t think the right benchmark for this conversation is against someone poor. I think this is a middle-class vs wealthy question - what problems would you have as a wealthy person that you don’t have as an average earner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:*shrug*. As a trust fund beneficiary who knows lots of other TF kids, this has not been my experience.

Most TF people I know either are high earners or are not working to focus on raising their kids. I make $350,000 and the only thing I will do differently than any other earner is retire sooner. I will be done at 53.

I agree with this. Most I know with significant family money spend a lot of time and energy trying to prove that they are just as good at their jobs/life as someone with no money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it can be an issue for those who grew up with less and are the only ones in their families that make a good living. Everyone wants (and needs) financial help. It's harder to save and get ahead financially without feeling guilty.

Very much agree with this. There are many hands outstretched and a pretty staggering level of entitlement to other people’s money. We have helped many members of our family but eventually it grates on you, particularly for people who make bad choices.

So would you rather not have money, and be in the same situation as them?

Of course not.

I think you would be surprised how lonely it can be.

[Anonymous]

From what I've observed, more money = more houses

More cars, more boats, more storage needed. More people who need to be hired, managed. People to manage home maintenance.

All the upkeep seems exhausting to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a trust fund that contains more than I could spend, and am also a high earner which means I dont have to touch my trust to live the lifestyle I like.

What does that mean? It means that I have a deep innate understanding of the notion that money does not make one happy. Rather than spending years of my life focusing on earning so I can spend, so I can learn that lesson, it means I learned it way faster than other people. That leaves me with the question of "What does bring happiness", and for me, it is my kids and travel. Now, I spend all of my time and focus on those things, and I am much happier.

Money gave me the time to sit and consider what makes me happy.

this is great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I've observed, more money = more houses

More cars, more boats, more storage needed. More people who need to be hired, managed. People to manage home maintenance.

All the upkeep seems exhausting to me.

LOL! I 100% agree with this. It looks like running a small business, with staff, management, maintenance etc. No thanks.

See also Mary Trump's book. "Too Much and Never Enough" about sums it up.