S/O what makes a little kid good looking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has a different opinion of beauty but some kids are just naturally more attractive.

We are Asian. My daughter is an Asian beauty. Who knows if her little blonde friends think she is pretty?

If other Asians besides mom & dad think that she's beautiful, then so would the blondes. The fundamentals of beauty are more cross-cultural than you would think.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201403/is-beauty-in-the-eye-the-beholder

NP. That's not what that article says at all.

I was going to come here and immediately say "blonde hair and blue eyes." That is very clearly an OVERSTATEMENT, but if I had a nickel for every rather plan white kid who was mooned over by adults because they had light eyes and hair, I could quit my job for at least six months. Yes blah blah it's getting better, and more kids of color are being recognized as beautiful by even white people, but I basically don't know a blue-eyed blonde who isn't gushed over, no matter their facial symmetry or literally any of their other features, assuming no disfigurement or visible disability (another issue).

I don’t think this is true at all. Not all blondes are beautiful. There are some who are but definitely not all. There are several who are super plain. I actually think some Hispanic little girls are beautiful and mixed race kids. I feel style, money and grooming may matter more as they get older but when they are young, I think these girls are the most beautiful.

Oh I totally disagree. I have regular white lady brown hair and brown eyes, and somehow birthed a long legged curly blonde headed kid with blue eyes and my dark eyelashes. I'm going to be honest, she was a super rolly polly baby and looked bloated with baby fat, but people still fawned over her like crazy. Now she's a nice looking (IMO), but not striking kindergartener and still gets a TON of attention about her appearance everywhere we go. We're out with her friends or cousins and SHE gets the comments about what a beautiful girl she is, and the other same aged girls get ignored. And she's my kid, I think she's the best, but she's definitely not the best looking one in the bunch. It's her coloring, plain and simple, and I can see already how it makes her life easier. She knows to be polite and say thank you, and we talk about how being kind is more important than being pretty, etc., but at some point she'll notice she gets more attention than other kids and we'll have to address why that is exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has a different opinion of beauty but some kids are just naturally more attractive.

We are Asian. My daughter is an Asian beauty. Who knows if her little blonde friends think she is pretty?

If other Asians besides mom & dad think that she's beautiful, then so would the blondes. The fundamentals of beauty are more cross-cultural than you would think.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201403/is-beauty-in-the-eye-the-beholder

NP. That's not what that article says at all.

I was going to come here and immediately say "blonde hair and blue eyes." That is very clearly an OVERSTATEMENT, but if I had a nickel for every rather plan white kid who was mooned over by adults because they had light eyes and hair, I could quit my job for at least six months. Yes blah blah it's getting better, and more kids of color are being recognized as beautiful by even white people, but I basically don't know a blue-eyed blonde who isn't gushed over, no matter their facial symmetry or literally any of their other features, assuming no disfigurement or visible disability (another issue).

I don’t think this is true at all. Not all blondes are beautiful. There are some who are but definitely not all. There are several who are super plain. I actually think some Hispanic little girls are beautiful and mixed race kids. I feel style, money and grooming may matter more as they get older but when they are young, I think these girls are the most beautiful.

Oh I totally disagree. I have regular white lady brown hair and brown eyes, and somehow birthed a long legged curly blonde headed kid with blue eyes and my dark eyelashes. I'm going to be honest, she was a super rolly polly baby and looked bloated with baby fat, but people still fawned over her like crazy. Now she's a nice looking (IMO), but not striking kindergartener and still gets a TON of attention about her appearance everywhere we go. We're out with her friends or cousins and SHE gets the comments about what a beautiful girl she is, and the other same aged girls get ignored. And she's my kid, I think she's the best, but she's definitely not the best looking one in the bunch. It's her coloring, plain and simple, and I can see already how it makes her life easier. She knows to be polite and say thank you, and we talk about how being kind is more important than being pretty, etc., but at some point she'll notice she gets more attention than other kids and we'll have to address why that is exactly.

Your daughter could absolutely be beautiful. I don’t doubt that.

Just because you have blonde hair and fair skin doesn’t make you beautiful though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has a different opinion of beauty but some kids are just naturally more attractive.

We are Asian. My daughter is an Asian beauty. Who knows if her little blonde friends think she is pretty?

If other Asians besides mom & dad think that she's beautiful, then so would the blondes. The fundamentals of beauty are more cross-cultural than you would think.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201403/is-beauty-in-the-eye-the-beholder

NP. That's not what that article says at all.

I was going to come here and immediately say "blonde hair and blue eyes." That is very clearly an OVERSTATEMENT, but if I had a nickel for every rather plan white kid who was mooned over by adults because they had light eyes and hair, I could quit my job for at least six months. Yes blah blah it's getting better, and more kids of color are being recognized as beautiful by even white people, but I basically don't know a blue-eyed blonde who isn't gushed over, no matter their facial symmetry or literally any of their other features, assuming no disfigurement or visible disability (another issue).

I don’t think this is true at all. Not all blondes are beautiful. There are some who are but definitely not all. There are several who are super plain. I actually think some Hispanic little girls are beautiful and mixed race kids. I feel style, money and grooming may matter more as they get older but when they are young, I think these girls are the most beautiful.

Oh I totally disagree. I have regular white lady brown hair and brown eyes, and somehow birthed a long legged curly blonde headed kid with blue eyes and my dark eyelashes. I'm going to be honest, she was a super rolly polly baby and looked bloated with baby fat, but people still fawned over her like crazy. Now she's a nice looking (IMO), but not striking kindergartener and still gets a TON of attention about her appearance everywhere we go. We're out with her friends or cousins and SHE gets the comments about what a beautiful girl she is, and the other same aged girls get ignored. And she's my kid, I think she's the best, but she's definitely not the best looking one in the bunch. It's her coloring, plain and simple, and I can see already how it makes her life easier. She knows to be polite and say thank you, and we talk about how being kind is more important than being pretty, etc., but at some point she'll notice she gets more attention than other kids and we'll have to address why that is exactly.

Your daughter could absolutely be beautiful. I don’t doubt that.

Just because you have blonde hair and fair skin doesn’t make you beautiful though.

You miss my point. I, her mother, don’t think she’s beautiful. Cute and nice looking, sure, but not a beauty like some kids. I say that because I’m looking a lot more closely at her features than the random people we encounter. It’s her blonde hair and blue eyes that gets her the constant comments and attention. The world sees those features and calls her a beauty, not me.

[Anonymous]

You have to be attractive and "average"--average height, size, facial features. If you are taller or shorter than "average" whatever that is where you live, will have an affect. Not anything you can solve.

Socializing your child, making sure they are clean and well kept, and comfortable are things under your control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are model level gorgeous (I hear from strangers all the time) and not particularly successful socially.

Don’t all parents hear this all the time? I get told constantly how beautiful my children are, how striking, how gorgeous, how they should be models. I think people are just being overly effusive. It doesn’t actually mean they my kids are “model level gorgeous”.

[Anonymous]

The thing is....sometimes the beautiful kindergartner grows up to be average or plain. And, sometimes the opposite is true. The ugly duckling grows up to be a beautiful swan.

Sometimes it's really hard on a kid who has been told that she or he is beautiful all his or her life to realize they no longer are. Believe me, it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are model level gorgeous (I hear from strangers all the time) and not particularly successful socially.

Don’t all parents hear this all the time? I get told constantly how beautiful my children are, how striking, how gorgeous, how they should be models. I think people are just being overly effusive. It doesn’t actually mean they my kids are “model level gorgeous”.

Exactly. My mom would always get "you have a beautiful family". None of us are beauties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has a different opinion of beauty but some kids are just naturally more attractive.

We are Asian. My daughter is an Asian beauty. Who knows if her little blonde friends think she is pretty?

If other Asians besides mom & dad think that she's beautiful, then so would the blondes. The fundamentals of beauty are more cross-cultural than you would think.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201403/is-beauty-in-the-eye-the-beholder

NP. That's not what that article says at all.

I was going to come here and immediately say "blonde hair and blue eyes." That is very clearly an OVERSTATEMENT, but if I had a nickel for every rather plan white kid who was mooned over by adults because they had light eyes and hair, I could quit my job for at least six months. Yes blah blah it's getting better, and more kids of color are being recognized as beautiful by even white people, but I basically don't know a blue-eyed blonde who isn't gushed over, no matter their facial symmetry or literally any of their other features, assuming no disfigurement or visible disability (another issue).

I don’t think this is true at all. Not all blondes are beautiful. There are some who are but definitely not all. There are several who are super plain. I actually think some Hispanic little girls are beautiful and mixed race kids. I feel style, money and grooming may matter more as they get older but when they are young, I think these girls are the most beautiful.

Oh I totally disagree. I have regular white lady brown hair and brown eyes, and somehow birthed a long legged curly blonde headed kid with blue eyes and my dark eyelashes. I'm going to be honest, she was a super rolly polly baby and looked bloated with baby fat, but people still fawned over her like crazy. Now she's a nice looking (IMO), but not striking kindergartener and still gets a TON of attention about her appearance everywhere we go. We're out with her friends or cousins and SHE gets the comments about what a beautiful girl she is, and the other same aged girls get ignored. And she's my kid, I think she's the best, but she's definitely not the best looking one in the bunch. It's her coloring, plain and simple, and I can see already how it makes her life easier. She knows to be polite and say thank you, and we talk about how being kind is more important than being pretty, etc., but at some point she'll notice she gets more attention than other kids and we'll have to address why that is exactly.

Your daughter could absolutely be beautiful. I don’t doubt that.

Just because you have blonde hair and fair skin doesn’t make you beautiful though.

You miss my point. I, her mother, don’t think she’s beautiful. Cute and nice looking, sure, but not a beauty like some kids. I say that because I’m looking a lot more closely at her features than the random people we encounter. It’s her blonde hair and blue eyes that gets her the constant comments and attention. The world sees those features and calls her a beauty, not me.

Totally agree (NP). Younger DC has a mop of white blond hair and blue eyes, older DC has brown hair & dark brown eyes, and IMHO is "objectively" the more attractive one in terms of features. Guess who gets all the attention? The blond hair alone gets fawned over and twice(!) random women have asked me if they could take a picture of just the hair to take to their stylist. Is it just the relative rareness? Is it racism? Some combo of the two? I don't know. But the claim that beauty is somehow "objective" and not infused with all sorts of social considerations and hierarchies is what is really "naïve." Which is what I take to be PP's point!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to be attractive and[/b] "average"--average height, size, facial features. If you are taller or shorter than "average" whatever that is where you live, will have an affect. Not anything you can solve. [/b]

Socializing your child, making sure they are clean and well kept, and comfortable are things under your control.

+1

And if we’re talking about popularity, average personality, average interests, average intelligence(at least later), etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone has a different opinion of beauty but some kids are just naturally more attractive.

We are Asian. My daughter is an Asian beauty. Who knows if her little blonde friends think she is pretty?

If other Asians besides mom & dad think that she's beautiful, then so would the blondes. The fundamentals of beauty are more cross-cultural than you would think.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201403/is-beauty-in-the-eye-the-beholder

NP. That's not what that article says at all.

I was going to come here and immediately say "blonde hair and blue eyes." That is very clearly an OVERSTATEMENT, but if I had a nickel for every rather plan white kid who was mooned over by adults because they had light eyes and hair, I could quit my job for at least six months. Yes blah blah it's getting better, and more kids of color are being recognized as beautiful by even white people, but I basically don't know a blue-eyed blonde who isn't gushed over, no matter their facial symmetry or literally any of their other features, assuming no disfigurement or visible disability (another issue).

I don’t think this is true at all. Not all blondes are beautiful. There are some who are but definitely not all. There are several who are super plain. I actually think some Hispanic little girls are beautiful and mixed race kids. I feel style, money and grooming may matter more as they get older but when they are young, I think these girls are the most beautiful.

Oh I totally disagree. I have regular white lady brown hair and brown eyes, and somehow birthed a long legged curly blonde headed kid with blue eyes and my dark eyelashes. I'm going to be honest, she was a super rolly polly baby and looked bloated with baby fat, but people still fawned over her like crazy. Now she's a nice looking (IMO), but not striking kindergartener and still gets a TON of attention about her appearance everywhere we go. We're out with her friends or cousins and SHE gets the comments about what a beautiful girl she is, and the other same aged girls get ignored. And she's my kid, I think she's the best, but she's definitely not the best looking one in the bunch. It's her coloring, plain and simple, and I can see already how it makes her life easier. She knows to be polite and say thank you, and we talk about how being kind is more important than being pretty, etc., but at some point she'll notice she gets more attention than other kids and we'll have to address why that is exactly.

Your daughter could absolutely be beautiful. I don’t doubt that.

Just because you have blonde hair and fair skin doesn’t make you beautiful though.

You miss my point. I, her mother, don’t think she’s beautiful. Cute and nice looking, sure, but not a beauty like some kids. I say that because I’m looking a lot more closely at her features than the random people we encounter. It’s her blonde hair and blue eyes that gets her the constant comments and attention. The world sees those features and calls her a beauty, not me.

Totally agree (NP). Younger DC has a mop of white blond hair and blue eyes, older DC has brown hair & dark brown eyes, and IMHO is "objectively" the more attractive one in terms of features. Guess who gets all the attention? The blond hair alone gets fawned over and twice(!) random women have asked me if they could take a picture of just the hair to take to their stylist. Is it just the relative rareness? Is it racism? Some combo of the two? I don't know. But the claim that beauty is somehow "objective" and not infused with all sorts of social considerations and hierarchies is what is really "naïve." Which is what I take to be PP's point!

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest daughter is 5 and is what I would consider a beautiful child. And that is supported by the amount of attention and comments she gets from other adults (lots of time older men and women) when we are out and about. She has the biggest eyes with the most amazing eyebrows I’ve ever seen on a kid, she has a tiny now and delicate heart shaped face. She has a naturally warm/olive skin tone with wavy blonde hair and blue eyes. She’s also tall and thin for her age. According to the charts at every doctors appointment since she was a baby, she’s taller than average and thinner than average. So she just has a really delicate and feminine look about her.

Does anyone else find the level of detail in this…creepy?

Just uncomfortable.

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

A great personality will make an average looking kid very attractive- likewise, a bad personality will detract from the overall appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to be attractive and "average"--average height, size, facial features. If you are taller or shorter than "average" whatever that is where you live, will have an affect. Not anything you can solve.

Socializing your child, making sure they are clean and well kept, and comfortable are things under your control.

+1

And if we’re talking about popularity, average personality, average interests, average intelligence(at least later), etc.

Same poster. Fixed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My oldest daughter is 5 and is what I would consider a beautiful child. And that is supported by the amount of attention and comments she gets from other adults (lots of time older men and women) when we are out and about. She has the biggest eyes with the most amazing eyebrows I’ve ever seen on a kid, she has a tiny now and delicate heart shaped face. She has a naturally warm/olive skin tone with wavy blonde hair and blue eyes. She’s also tall and thin for her age. According to the charts at every doctors appointment since she was a baby, she’s taller than average and thinner than average. So she just has a really delicate and feminine look about her.

Does anyone else find the level of detail in this…creepy?

Just uncomfortable.

Plus 1

+2. I am always so uncomfortable when people comment on my 4yo’s appearance, even when it’s (meant to be) a compliment. Like… can they please have a few years to be children before we rate their attractiveness?

[Anonymous]

Most kids are cute. Every once in awhile you come across a truly gorgeous child but it’s rare.