How do I nicely say "I don't want to spend a weekend with you"
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Anonymous
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I have been invted for a girls getaway with a group that is some family and some "family friends" It's a small group of 4 of us. We did this several years back and I swore I would never spend my "free" time this way again. I value some of these relationships quite a bit but one of thee attendees just makes me nuts so that I don't enjoy myself (bossy, controlling, argumentative, critical of how I choose to spend my time on the weekend because I didn't fall into line with her plans). Life as a working mom, demands from managing two busy kids on the weekends makes "get aways" difficult to orchestrate. Frankly it's not worth the trouble to be irritated 50 % of the weekend. So when the email arrived suggesting another get away, I said that I couldn't get away in the time period suggested. The response is, "let's shoot for later when you can get away. Let us know when would be good."
Ugh--how do I say NEVER nicely??? |
Anonymous
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I'm sorry, guys, I don't think this year will be a good one for me to get away - too much going on at work/home. have an awesome time, send me pics, and hopefully, I'll be along next year!
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Anonymous
| "My schedule for the next few months is very much in flux and I can't commit to anything at this time. Please don't wait for me to make your weekend getaway plans. If I am able to join, I will." |
Anonymous
| OP - are you in my friend group?? Same thing happens to us. I am considering opting out this year, but it's often the only time I can get to see some of the other people. |
Anonymous
Excellent response! |
Anonymous
| Are you the one who doesn't like mud races? |
Anonymous
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How about something like:
"I really appreciate that, but the truth is that I have so little free time that it's unlikely there will be a better time that works. It's very difficult for me to carve out time for the day to day stuff that I need or want to get done, let alone for an entire weekend of fun just for me. Please go ahead without me and have an extra glass of wine in my honor." |
Anonymous
| "Please go ahead and make plans without me. At this point, I am going to devote free time to the kids and my husband with smaller breaks for me. I won't be doing a weekend trip away for the foreseeable future. Have a glass of wine for me!" |
Anonymous
| I've been going through this too. Learning how to say "no" gracefully. My last decline went something like this, "You all have a great time. My schedule has been really up in the air and I can't commit to anything right now." To another friend who likes to get together weekly for coffee, I said, "I'm staying busy with the gym, taking care of parents and volunteering, but how about coffee in April." |
Anonymous
| I'd say to your main trusted friend, "I'd love to join you, but, honestly, this one girl brings out the worst in me. It's just not how I want to spend my time. Happy to do something one in one another time." Chances are, if this girl is what you say, no one else likes her either. |
Anonymous
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It's odd if the other 2 friends have NO idea you don't like this woman. At some point - or should have done it before now - you should initiate meeting-up with the other two.
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