Ttc and career choices?

[Anonymous]

I had a missed miscarriage a month ago and was very optimistic about trying again soon, however I am now considering applying for a new job, I have been with my current employer for a few years and am ok with working there however I don't feel like there is any job growth potential. I would like to ttc again but am concerned about both trying again and having a negative outcome and/or having a positive outcome and trying to navigate a new position. I think it just finally dawned on me that if I ttc and have a child I will most likely stay with my current employer for another year if not longer. I feel like I am making a decision between ttc and finding new job/career. I know a lot of this is what if's but I can't stop spinning in my head. I should also mention I am 34 and am obviously not getting any younger. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I would stay at your current job as starting a new job is stressful and therefore may not be good for ttcing. Also have to think about fmla.

[Anonymous]

I vote for keeping TTC and also looking for a job. Ideally you would be settled in a new job before the pregnancy started showing, and that may happen if you look for a job now. If you get pregnant, just stop looking for a job. And if you don't get pregnant, at least you'll have a job you like better. Looking for a job may be a good distraction from TTC.

[Anonymous]

I agree you should go ahead and do a job change - the best advice I got was to keep moving forward with my career because you don't know when a baby may come together for you and it adds even more stress if you feel like you've put things on hold for it.

Also don't feel guilt that you might start new job and immediately get pregnant, that's a fact of life for employers...if you handle it responsibly they'll be just fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree you should go ahead and do a job change - the best advice I got was to keep moving forward with my career because you don't know when a baby may come together for you and it adds even more stress if you feel like you've put things on hold for it.

Also don't feel guilt that you might start new job and immediately get pregnant, that's a fact of life for employers...if you handle it responsibly they'll be just fine

Agree, but remember that maternity leave benefits (not FMLA) might be tied to length of service. For example, where I work paid maternity leave is only given to those who have been there 3+ years.

[Anonymous]

Just look for a job-- you can decide about maternity leave stuff when you are closer to having an offer. I got to a point where it was more important to have a new job than to have paid leave, and we tried to save up for my unpaid leave in advance.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for the advice. My current employer is too small for fmla and we don't currently have a maternity leave policy so my plan was to save up just in case they decide to not offer anything. I am also concerned about finding an employer that allows flexible scheduling and telecommuting, my current situation is very flexible but I am getting underpaid and no room for growth.

I think the suggestion of just applying and seeing what happens is the best route, it just helps coming from others who are ttc and understand the stress that it brings.

[Anonymous]

Good luck, OP! I know it's really hard to take on a job search on top of all the stress of TTC. But if you don't have a guarantee of paid leave in your current job, then I would say totally bail! It will be a distraction and give you a way to feel you are moving forward in your life. I put off a job search for TTC, and two miscarriages later, I am not sure that was the right choice.

If you make more money in your next job, you may end up with more money in the long run even if you end up having to take unpaid leave.

[Anonymous]

I don't advice letting TTC rule your life. If you get pregnant, then you have some decisions to make, but (I'm sorry to say this...) you could be "stuck" indefinitely. I put myself on hold for a year or so and, looking back, I feel like I really missed out on a lot of great experiences. (And no new baby...just miscarriages.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't advice letting TTC rule your life. If you get pregnant, then you have some decisions to make, but (I'm sorry to say this...) you could be "stuck" indefinitely. I put myself on hold for a year or so and, looking back, I feel like I really missed out on a lot of great experiences. (And no new baby...just miscarriages.)

Right there with you, hon. I seem to get pregnant so easily, so it made sense to stay in my easy, boring job. And it's been kind of nice to have a no-pressure work situation while I endure these miscarriages. But I've definitely stalled my career and have no baby to show for it.