Kids writing thank you notes

[Anonymous]

If you have large parties for your child (you invite all kids in class), does your child write thank you notes to each child who brought a gift? May seem like a given, but this is the 1st time we're thinking of doing a large party. DC is making up his mind based on whether he has to write each kid a thank you note or not. About 25 kids.

[Anonymous]

Guaranteed you're going to get a 5pg thread on the merits, pros, and cons of this decision. We're inviting 18 people to DD's party. She will write thank you notes to all, and to any grandparents, aunts, uncles, or godparents who give her a gift as well.

We're just old school that way.

[Anonymous]

I tell child she should but it's her choice. They may not come to her next party and she should be prepared for that. She generally starts writing, then loses interest. I'll just be glad when all this party stuff is over.

[Anonymous]

I have had my son participate in thank you note writing from kindergarten on. His handwriting sucks, FWIW. At 5, he'd write, "Dear Noah," and I'd fill in the body of the card. And he signed his name. Same thing at 6.

Last year he was 7 and did them all himself. Very short ones. We did 2-3 a night until they were done.

[Anonymous]

We want to, but we don't and I always feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guaranteed you're going to get a 5pg thread on the merits, pros, and cons of this decision. We're inviting 18 people to DD's party. She will write thank you notes to all, and to any grandparents, aunts, uncles, or godparents who give her a gift as well.

We're just old school that way.

Old school is that you thank the giver in person at the party. You only send thank you notes to distant relatives who mailed the present.

Not opening presents, and then writing thank you notes to everyone is a very new concept.

[Anonymous]

For big parties like that, the convention seems to be no gifts (specified on the invite) among our friends.

I would rather have teeth pulled than sit over my 5yo while he wrote 20 thank you cards. He doesn't write well yet, he finds it difficult, and it makes him dislike writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guaranteed you're going to get a 5pg thread on the merits, pros, and cons of this decision. We're inviting 18 people to DD's party. She will write thank you notes to all, and to any grandparents, aunts, uncles, or godparents who give her a gift as well.

We're just old school that way.

Old school is that you thank the giver in person at the party. You only send thank you notes to distant relatives who mailed the present.

Not opening presents, and then writing thank you notes to everyone is a very new concept.

I'll add that forcing academics on 5 year olds is also not "old school". Traditionally, writing was something you started learning at 6 or 7. A 5 year old who was in K would be learning the formation of the upper case letters, and how to use them to spell their first name. At the very most they'd be signing their name on a card dictated to their mother or father.

[Anonymous]

My 4 yr old wrote his thank you notes for his holiday gifts. We're doing a 25 person party for his 5th bday and its a no present party. But if someone brings a gift, he'll write the note.

The rule in our house is that you don't get to play with the gift until the thank you is written and you don't get to open the next gift until the last gift has a thank you card written.

[Anonymous]

We have "no gift parties" for DD's friends so it is not an issue but if we did do gift parties then she would write thank you notes. She has to write them for every gift she is given by family friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guaranteed you're going to get a 5pg thread on the merits, pros, and cons of this decision. We're inviting 18 people to DD's party. She will write thank you notes to all, and to any grandparents, aunts, uncles, or godparents who give her a gift as well.

We're just old school that way.

Old school is that you thank the giver in person at the party. You only send thank you notes to distant relatives who mailed the present.

Not opening presents, and then writing thank you notes to everyone is a very new concept.

Define "very new". I'm in my 40s and always had to write thank you notes.

[Anonymous]

We did them for my 5yo's party. About 15 notes, I think. DS just signed his name, I wrote the rest. We are up with the body of the text together (i'd prompt him with things like "what do you like about Larlo's gift"; "maybe we could say something about how nice it was to see him."). We did 3 or so per night and it wasn't too bad. They actually ended up coming out pretty cute. E.g., "I hope you had a good time at the party, even though it wasn't about Frozen."

It seems like about half of the pre-k class has large parties, and I think we've received a thank you note for each, but I don't pay attention that closely.

[Anonymous]

We send them. Daughter just turned 4 and signed her name, we wrote the body of the note.

I always had to do them, though I don't recall when I started writing them entirely myself. I'm guessing around 6-7. My kid can't read and while she knows her letters and can write them all, she can spell roughly 5 words including her name and I'm thinking cards that say "hi," "cat" "red" "ball" and her name might be seen as a little odd.

[Anonymous]

We send them.

Up through Kindergarten the kids write the person's name and sign the note but we write everything else.

In first and second grade we do thank you notes as copywork, so the child is writing them but from my models.

In third grade and up the kids write them on their own with my gradually decreasing input and supervision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guaranteed you're going to get a 5pg thread on the merits, pros, and cons of this decision. We're inviting 18 people to DD's party. She will write thank you notes to all, and to any grandparents, aunts, uncles, or godparents who give her a gift as well.

We're just old school that way.

Agree.