When did you get over the loss of a dog or other pet?

[Anonymous]

I'm utterly heartbroken and I still cry almost daily 4 months later. How long did it take for you to get over their passing?
When is the right time to get another pet? I don't want to feel guilty. What is your experience? Thank you for your time.

[Anonymous]

The crying/heartbreak stage usually passes within a couple months. I think you are having an unusually strong reaction. But every once in a while, I do tear up thinking about former pets and get very sentimental.

If you are having this strong every day mourning, consider either a support group or a counselor. There is no shame in it, and it would be very helpful.

Don't rush to get another pet. But you could see how you feel, for example, by visiting Washington Animal Rescue League and walking around and seeing some of the dogs in their pens. Just test it out. If you feel good about it and it makes you feel happy and excited about the prospect, great, move forward. If on the other hand, you start having more intense feelings of grief, guilty, or anxiety, you will know it's not time. It's really personal to you and there's no right or wrong.

[Anonymous]

It took me a good 6 to 9 months. If something happens that really reminds me of her though I will still cry at times and it's been over a year (dec 2013).

[Anonymous]

Getting to the point that I could think of my dog without being sad and instead smile, thinking of how awesome she was, was when I considered myself "over" the loss. But I wasn't ready to get another dog at that point.

It took us almost two years before we got another dog. She's been dead over three years and I still miss her.

[Anonymous]

I lost my dog 13 months ago in a very tragic way. It was horrible. I cried so hard, ached, and then went almost numb inside. My parents encouraged me to get another dog immediately, but I wasn't sure if I was up for it. I ended up listening to them, though, and got another dog about a month after her death. I'm so glad I did. It helped me to put my attention toward helping my new rescue dog (he was a little scrappy and needed some basic medical care). Sometimes I would tell him about my first dog.

Everyone is different, but I would think about getting another pet.

[Anonymous]

Thank you to the pp's! Silly question, do you love your new dog just as much or is it like kids where your heart just grows for each?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It took me a good 6 to 9 months. If something happens that really reminds me of her though I will still cry at times and it's been over a year (dec 2013).

+1 but it was July 2008. I had to put her to sleep and the vet botched the job horribly and I cry every time I think about it. She was the love of my life and I failed her at the end while trying to do the right thing. I still miss her and I'll never get over what happened that last day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It took me a good 6 to 9 months. If something happens that really reminds me of her though I will still cry at times and it's been over a year (dec 2013).

+1 but it was July 2008. I had to put her to sleep and the vet botched the job horribly and I cry every time I think about it. She was the love of my life and I failed her at the end while trying to do the right thing. I still miss her and I'll never get over what happened that last day.

I'm so sorry PP. That sounds terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to the pp's! Silly question, do you love your new dog just as much or is it like kids where your heart just grows for each?

The dog that I truly loved and mourned and miss to this day I got when I was single. When she died it ripped my heart out. Though I've had - and lost - a dog since that dog, it just wasn't the same trauma. I feel like that only happens once, then you know what it means that they die before you and you protect yourself a little. Or, I've just got more going on now w kids and the dog didn't rate... Or because even though they're dogs they are individuals and you connect differently with each one. I'm not sure. But for me the relationship w the first dog is something I don't think will be repeated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you to the pp's! Silly question, do you love your new dog just as much or is it like kids where your heart just grows for each?

Your heart grows for each and you love the new one just as much.

I had my first pet for 17 years. She died a slow death from old age, very traumatic, but in the end a relief for her to be out of pain. Mourning for a few months but I still think of her all the time.
One day I adopted on impulse, had the next one 3 years, loved her just as much. She died very suddenly of a hidden condition. Tramautic in a totally different way. Intense grief.
After that we waited about 5 years and adopted from a rescue. Love this one fiercely too.

They are each so different, and they love YOU so much.

[Anonymous]

We've lost both of our dogs over the last month. The house is so quiet, even with two young children. There are moments where I say I need to rescue a dog and redistribute my grief in the care of another, but then guilt takes over. I know my little girls (the dogs) would want me to care for another but this soon, I think it is not fair to them.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to sound like a crazy cat lady but I can still cry over the loss of my cat 10 years ago. I don't think about him every day or anything but when I do talk about his death it still makes me tear up because I have such guilt that he died in a cage at the vet's office rather than with me (renal failure). And he was my "soulmate" of kitties that I'd had since my teen years.

The good news is that I got over it because when it happened it felt like I wouldn't. And now that I'm older with kids and more perspective I feel like I might see it differently. Animals just aren't children and I can see that now. With that said, I am dreading the day something happens to our dog because I know it's going to be horrific for my husband, son and I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to sound like a crazy cat lady but I can still cry over the loss of my cat 10 years ago. I don't think about him every day or anything but when I do talk about his death it still makes me tear up because I have such guilt that he died in a cage at the vet's office rather than with me (renal failure). And he was my "soulmate" of kitties that I'd had since my teen years.

The good news is that I got over it because when it happened it felt like I wouldn't. And now that I'm older with kids and more perspective I feel like I might see it differently. Animals just aren't children and I can see that now. With that said, I am dreading the day something happens to our dog because I know it's going to be horrific for my husband, son and I.

I lost my "soul mate" cat a month ago and it still hurts a lot. I understand how I will never be able to hold him again, but part of me doesn't understand how that can be because he was with me for so many years.

[Anonymous]

I lost my "soulmate" cat after 20 years (had her since I was a child) about 10 years ago. I don't think I will feel that way again about a pet. I haven't wanted to get another cat or dog because I don't know if I will feel that way again and I have two little kids and feel like I need to give all my attention to them anyway.

It's tough, OP.

[Anonymous]

We lost our dog in September of last year. It was hard on us, but we somehow moved through it more quickly than I imagined. We have a young child, so I think that may have been part of it -- just being too busy and tired to really focus on it much, and trying not to dwell on it for his sake. But I am still sad when I think of our old dog and sometimes feel sadder now than I did right when it happened (it was extremely fast).

We did not intend to get a new dog but sort of fell into a situation where one needed a home in November. It just felt right to take her, even though we had not intended to do so.

I think we actually would have missed our old dog longer if we had not gotten this new dog. Our son loves her and is totally obsessed with her (like he was with our old dog but more so because he's older now himself). And the dog requires a LOT of work.

I don't feel "guilty" for adopting a new dog soon after. It wasn't a choice to "replace" our old friend. It was a situation where we felt like our house was empty and a dog needed a home, and it seemed like a good fit. I also think it helped our son move through things, too, as he had many questions about death after losing our first dog (he was 2 at the time).