Single and planning on using donor sperm, any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

I just turned 40 and I'm thinking of having a baby using donor sperm. I haven't done any research yet, and have no idea where to start. Do you have recommendations of a reproductive endocrinologist or a practice that would be good i.e. Understanding and non judgmental with experience dealing with single moms doing it alone. Which spermbank would you recommend? I would be grateful for any tips on where to begin and I would love to hear from moms that have been through it. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

While I'm not in your situation, I have friends that have been and I'd imagine in this area it is no big thang for any of the clinics to work with a single woman. Several friends used Fairfax Cryobank.

[Anonymous]

I'm single and used California Cryobank-- they are expensive, but you get what you pay for. Also looked at Northwest Cryobank (cheaper and will ship to your home without a doctor's note if you want to DIY, but quality of donors is iffy). I agree with PP that any clinic in this area is fine for single women, but I personally hated Shady Grove and left them for another clinic. Nothing to do with being single, though.

FYI, you can use your flexible spending account $$ for donor sperm.

[Anonymous]

We used Fairfax Cryobank. The advantage there is that you can pick up the sperm yourself, which saves some money. I have heard their sperm quality is not as robust.

At 40, you may want to go straight to IVF. Max out your health spending account this year. You will likely need that amount and more. As quirky and imperfect as they can be, I've tried both Columbia Fertility and Shady Grove and ended up preferring Shady Grove.

[Anonymous]

It can take much longer to get pregnant with donor sperm IUI, so it may be more cost effective to just jump to IVF, especially with your egg quality going downhill quickly.

[Anonymous]

Advice is just go now. Difference between 40 and 41 and absolutely 42 can be huuuuge. Difference between baby and no baby. Pick either California Cryobank or Fairfax Cryobank. Both are fine. Pick one and start through their catalog now to get your top 2. Call them and have them walk you through how it all works.

Do you need IUI or ICI sperm, anonymous or disclosed later, etc. Find a friend who can tell you this all. If no friend, start another thread and ask the tailored question of what do I need to be thinking of when picking donor sperm.

Pick a clinic. SHady Grove was fine for me as a single and now as a gay couple. Decide do I want big clinic or smaller more personal and intimate. But pick quick and call and make an appt next week. For real. It'll take a few weeks to get in and meanwhile pick your sperm to be ready.

[Anonymous]

But don't BUY the sperm yet. Bc the clinic may want a certain kind or if IVF one vial of IVF ready is enough. IUI u may need IUI or ICI prep and decide to buy a few vials. But start picking donors to be ready in that respect.

Good luck! You can do it! Once u just get more familiarity it's all easy. Don't worry.

[Anonymous]

I posted this on your other thread but I switched to Xytex after using both Fairfax Cryo and California Cryo. I found the specimen quality, choice of donors, information available, and customer service better at Xytex.

[Anonymous]

I saw Dr. K and eventually Dr. Stern at GIVF. I used Fairfax Cyrobank for my sperm. I was 38 went I had my first. The doctors at GIVF were easy to work with and I got pregnant via IUI on the 3rd try with my first and on the first try with my second. Somehow the sperm got from the 2nd floor of the building to the 3rd floor on the days when the IUI was occurring. I was pleased with my options at Fairfax.

[Anonymous]

Not to make you nervous, but RUN to a clinic ASAP, because of your age. Otherwise you could be faced with having to do donor egg and sperm! And the cost of that not to mention emotional roller-coaster is substantial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used Fairfax Cryobank. The advantage there is that you can pick up the sperm yourself, which saves some money.

+1 You save on average $200 on shipping. That's why we chose Fairfax. in 1 vial we got 0,5 ; 25K in count and 48% in motility. I think it's not bad could be an average. Plus Fairfax gives the refunds if the quality is not as they promised. but the analysis has to be done at the lab of your doctor, if you using it at home it will not be honored.

I am sorry I am not calling you old but in your age I would think IVF is better solution if you really really want a better result. For that any bank will work as in IUI sperm has to all job and in IVF it's get great help in the lab but of course it is your decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used Fairfax Cryobank. The advantage there is that you can pick up the sperm yourself, which saves some money.

+1 You save on average $200 on shipping. That's why we chose Fairfax. in 1 vial we got 0,5 ; 25K in count and 48% in motility. I think it's not bad could be an average. Plus Fairfax gives the refunds if the quality is not as they promised. but the analysis has to be done at the lab of your doctor, if you using it at home it will not be honored.

I am sorry I am not calling you old but in your age I would think IVF is better solution if you really really want a better result. For that any bank will work as in IUI sperm has to all job and in IVF it's get great help in the lab but of course it is your decision.

14:12 here. I used Fairfax 2-3 times and the counts were well below their guaranteed levels. We -- my doctor at SGFC, the head embryologist at SGFC and I -- had to jump through SO many hoops to apply for that refund and it turns out Fairfax Cryo only gives you pennies on the dollar. My "refund" was laughable. So, what I saved on shipping, I lost ten times over on what I spent on those wasted cycles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used Fairfax Cryobank. The advantage there is that you can pick up the sperm yourself, which saves some money.

+1 You save on average $200 on shipping. That's why we chose Fairfax. in 1 vial we got 0,5 ; 25K in count and 48% in motility. I think it's not bad could be an average. Plus Fairfax gives the refunds if the quality is not as they promised. but the analysis has to be done at the lab of your doctor, if you using it at home it will not be honored.

I am sorry I am not calling you old but in your age I would think IVF is better solution if you really really want a better result. For that any bank will work as in IUI sperm has to all job and in IVF it's get great help in the lab but of course it is your decision.

14:12 here. I used Fairfax 2-3 times and the counts were well below their guaranteed levels. We -- my doctor at SGFC, the head embryologist at SGFC and I -- had to jump through SO many hoops to apply for that refund and it turns out Fairfax Cryo only gives you pennies on the dollar. My "refund" was laughable. So, what I saved on shipping, I lost ten times over on what I spent on those wasted cycles.

im sorry to hear that.

[Anonymous]

All of the practices in town are friendly to same-sex and single parents. They use really neutral language about "partners" in all of their literature, and they're all going to be welcoming and nonjudgmental. They *all* will also tell you to make up your mind ASAP, because time is at a premium.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the practices in town are friendly to same-sex and single parents. They use really neutral language about "partners" in all of their literature, and they're all going to be welcoming and nonjudgmental. They *all* will also tell you to make up your mind ASAP, because time is at a premium.

Really? I went to shady grove for three different appointments when I first started my treatments and every time I was asked by the front desk if my husband would be joining me for my appointments. I get the first one because I didn't have a file yet, but the second and third time was enough for me to say see you later.