Am I expecting too much??

[Anonymous]

I have my nearly 2.5yr old son enrolled in one of those Tales N Tunes classes, and the two times we've been have really been a struggle. He just doesn't listen and/or follow the directions of the teacher, and I wind up spending the 45 minutes basically trying to force him to sit in a circle, or sit on the story rug, or not go under the parachute because it's not time, and saying things like, "put the balls down, they're not for now" etc. I actually took him out of the room last night for a 2-minute time out because he wasn't paying attention.

I'm just really torn. The age group for this class is really broad (18 months to 4 yrs), and the group is kinda small. Like 3 older kids who can follow along and 2 really younger kids who are basically happy to sit on their parents' laps. I worry my kid is being a disruption, but I also think I'm almost creating more of a disruption running around behind him, quietly yelling his name, and fighting him squirming around to sit down and listen. I also think I get anxious about it because the teacher is younger, and she gets really impatient when like a kid reaches up to touch the book while she's reading, etc. You can imagine her look when my one is trying to pull blocks down when it's not blocks time.

So... do we keep going and we fight the whole time (I literally cried last night on the way home), do I give him more free reign and accept that not quite 2.5yrs means not quite ready to sit, but still OK to participate from the periphery, or do I just bag it and hope he learns to be more "group oriented" when he's a bit older?!?

[Anonymous]

How formal is the class? Does the teacher seem to mind if your child wanders around or observes from the sidelines? There are benefits to participating in any sort of organized class -- even for little ones -- such as becoming comfortable with other children and adults, learning about circle time and how to pay attention/follow directions. If your child seems to enjoy going and isn't completely disrupting the event, then keep going. But, you shouldn't feel compelled to keep going -- particularly if your child has other opportunities during the week to socialize with other children and adults. I wouldn't be concerned by your child's behavior -- no one really expects a 2.5 year old to sit still or pay attention. Kids seem to pick up those skills through nursery/pre-school when they are 3 and 4. And kids really only have to master that skill by 5 for Kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry you are going through this and I feel your pain. My son is 2.5 and doesn't like to follow the rules either. I basically didn't choose to take Tales N Tunes because when I asked on another site to compare Music Together and Tales and Tunes, people told me that Tales N Tunes is much more structured and expects children to follow the rules. I knew that would be a disaster for my son, because like yours, he doesn't like to just sit in my lap and listen to the story or music, he would much prefer to run around and do his own thing. I don't really have any answer for you because I don't have one myself. Part of me thinks it is just his personality and if he is not really hurting anyone else, why not just let him do his thing? But it is hard when you see all the other kids behaving and then wonder if you are doing something wrong because yours isn't! I am trying to get my son into a preschool for next fall because I am hoping that the structure at least two days a week will do him good. Until then, I just try to praise him a lot when he is good and try not to worry about it too much as long as he is not hurting anyone else.

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth--if he was in my class, I really wouldn't mind his runnning around--everyone deals with this and should understand if this is a class with a wide age range. I have a feeling that you are more worried than anyone else in the class--just have some fun and it really stops being fun, just choose another activity--there are tons in the area!!

[Anonymous]

PP, I would like to take your class! Unfortunately, I do think there are some classes where the teachers seem to have unrealistic expectations of kids' behavior. (namely, I have heard of a teacher in Arlington who teaches Music Together on Saturdays). I also took my son to a story time once and he tried to pick up and move some of the little chairs while the woman was telling her story. He was not talking and the chairs were on the side of the room away from everyone, but she did not like it and took the chairs away from him. Well, of course he then started screaming and crying and I had to take him out of the store. I don't know, maybe he shouldn't have been touching the chairs, but I felt like she made it much worse by trying to take the chairs away from him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe find another type of class that is more age appropriate 18months to 4 yrs is huge. I can not understand why a teacher/school would put those age groups together. I think it would cause frustration on those that are old enough to sit and listen to instruction. It is disruptive, but at 18 months that is normal. "My Gym, Jw tumblers, and My llittle gym" all have classes that are very age appropriate. Maybe do something like that instead. Or story time at the library for little ones. It is a hard age. My little ones would never even sit for story hour until they were almost 3. I would not worry about what others thought if you decide to stay in this class, they had to of known ages when they signed up. good luck

[Anonymous]

Man I think a lot of people are tough--I am so happy to be out of the houseand in some kind of activity--I could not care a fig if a kid screamed the whole time--it's all white noise to me. Sometimes I think it's just plain funny

[Anonymous]

I could have written the OP's post. My 2 1/2 year old son is just like that--his preschool teacher called him "bouncy" (a nice way of saying hyper), and told me he had "impulse control" issues (well, DUH, that's why I put him in a structured program at his age--to get him some help acclimating to a structured environment). Anyway, you are NOT alone, by any stretch. Find a class that will let him have a little more freedom, or is exercise based (my kiddo loved Little Gym). Music Together in McLean let him be "himself," the theory being that he could still hear the music and absorbed plenty even if he wasn't a lump on my lap.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I have no clue why they'd have an age range that large.

Put him in a tumble class. There's no reason for you to go home crying after each class!
I had to pull us out of a yoga class because my little one kept darting out the door. The next session was much better (6 months older)
I also had to stop going to story times for awhile.

[Anonymous]

I think that it may be expecting a bit much to expect a 2 yo to sit still for 45 minutes. Like other have suggested, you may consider a class that involves some physical activity - kids this age really like to move.

Good Luck

[Anonymous]

My son is 2 and doesn't like to go to music shows or these types of activities either. He just runs around and ignores the teacher or singer. So I stopped taking him. Clarly he's not ready for that or maybe it's just not a fit for him. I'll try again in a few months, but for now I just take him to things he likes. Mostly it's a playground or open play at a play gym. He doesn't want structure...he wants to run. So I let him.

All kids learn at their own pace and in their own way. If your son isn't enjoying the class, don't sign up again.

In the meantime, if you have a few classes already paid for, pull the teacher aside and explain that your "son is having trouble following the rules. Please be patient...he's only two." And then don't sweat it!