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Strangers soliciting opinion on sex of baby
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Anonymous
| I am 38 weeks and over the past couple of weeks, I have had 6 strangers submit that I am having a boy (we didn't find out the sex of the baby). Has this happened to others? I am generally taken aback that my body has been covertly analyzed! They all point to my "pointy" belly and say "boy". I didn't experience this unwanted advice the first time around since we learned the sex of the baby and I could debunk even the most confident prediction (I had a rounded belly and gave birth to a baby boy even though a few people were convinced that he would be a she in the end). |
Anonymous
| That happened to me all the time. I knew I was having a girl but strangers routinely stopped me and said, "Girl, right?" I liked it. I like that being pregnant makes people friendly toward you -- most people get excited over a new baby, even a stranger's new baby. I think it's sweet. And, I hate to tell you, but there is nothing "covert" about a 36-week pregnant belly, so it's not like they're sneaking glances... |
Anonymous
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Got it all the time last pregnancy and starting to get it this time now that I'm visibly showing.
Last pregnancy the checker at Giant reached across the register and tried to feel my belly as she predicted a boy!! Boy boy boy everyone said because of my pointy belly ... well a little girl popped out. |
Anonymous
| Tell all these strangers, "actually, it's a girl." They'll never know! |
Anonymous
| It drove me nuts that people would try to predict the sex based on the way you were carrying. I hate that! But I know how you feel. I got told boy a lot with my second pregnancy and it was a girl. |
Anonymous
This is a nice way to think about it -- I wonder if I can get from my attitude to yours? I'm not OP, but am likewise slightly annoyed by people trying to guess whether I am having a boy or girl. Frankly, we didn't find out for a reason, and I kept help but think it's slightly "off" for strangers to make predictions we didn't ask for. But it's true that most of them are smiling when they say it... Meantime, I'll tell you what I do NOT like. My family members are making their own predictions, which is fine, but my own sister and my MIL are getting a little bit annoyingly smug about their predictions. I know I should think it's cute, but it's been weirding me out a little bit. They know I have a hunch it's a boy (I should have NEVER told anyone that) and now they're all "well, I just know it's a GIRL." So yes, I might have that mommy's hunch, but I'm not at all sure, and they are unfortunately the type to (laughingly but still annoyingly) never let me forget that they "called" my baby and I didn't even know. (Whatevs, a-holes, it's 50/50 chance you're right, who cares?) Oh my gosh, I know, listen to myself. I'm crazy! Fact is, I don't really care if it's a boy or girl -- we just truly want a healthy baby! I've been laughing them off because I know it's friendly and I'm being oversensitive but it secretly irritates the everliving crap out of me. Still, the other day both sets were visiting and my sister and stepmom and my MIL were going on and on about how it's going to be a girl and they can just tell and my SIL gave me the biggest, best eyeroll I have ever seen out of her. I wanted to hug her immediately! |
Anonymous
| PP, I'm the first PP who said I think it's nice when people are friendly... but I know what you mean about your family members. When I was pregnant, before we found out the sex, everyone knew I not-so-secretly wanted a girl. Well, one friend of mine kept telling anyone who would listen, "I just KNOW she's having a boy. I think she's going to be really disappointed." She was just trying to be contrary! And for the record, I would have loved a boy too, of course. We also just wanted a healthy baby. I had a girl, though. |
Anonymous
| We're having a boy (We *KNOW* we're having a boy...we saw his penis TWICE in the ultrasound...as did my OB and the ultrasound technician at the 20-week level II ultrasound) and people still feel the need to analyze how I'm carrying. I'm totally serious. One of the admins at work came up to me when I was about 32 weeks (I'm about a week from my due date now) and said, "I know you say you're having a boy, but I had all boys and you're not carrying the way I carried. I think you're having a girl." And a family friend said just the other day that my belly is so round and was I sure it's a boy. It's just amazing. |
Anonymous
| Yes, this is annoying. To tell you the truth, I found out the sex the second time partly because the endless conversations about what people thought the baby was just got so gd boring by the end. I couldn't take it anymore. |
Anonymous
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Yes, but 18:05, look what's happeninig to 16:03. Is there no way out of the gender predictions? Haha! PP from earlier, I'm glad you were "right" and your friend was wrong. We genuinely have NO real preference, but I'm actually starting to worry that I'm starting to WANT to have a boy for the lone reason that people are annoying me by predicting a girl. I don't want to have a preference, though, so I'm trying to work through those cranky issues. I might just have to tell people (at least people I'm close to) that we are declaring a strict embargo on all spoken-out-loud baby predictions, and that they are welcome to tell us once but then better shut it.
BTW, I got another "boy" prediction today, from a very nice person. I smiled nicely and said "oh yeah? We think it might be a boy, too." Baby steps! Another thing that I'm getting really tired of is people thinking it is crazy that we are not finding out the gender. Our friends, of course, understand that it is not normal to make a big deal out of someone's choice here. And DH's family has been cool about this (other than those annoying predictions). But not my family, Oh no. My stepmom is trying to convince me that I'm making A Big Giant Huge Mistake by not finding out the gender "while I can." (Never mind that we get frequent u/s's and if I really wanted to reconsider my decision, I could look for a penis at a later date -- but I digress from my digression). Stepmom has taken to issuing dire warnings about how she decided she wanted to be surprised and then regretted that deeply when it was too late to find out. She keeps "warning" me how hard it is going to be to shop for everything and how people "won't be able to shop." I feel so bad because these are just family members wanting to get involved and be nice but I have soooo little patience for this type of stuff right now. I was nice about it for about 4 minutes and then snapped at her: "I hate pink and blue crap anyway so even if we found out we would go gender neutral anyway." I think I offended her. Then she says "well, I guess we had better wait until after the baby is here for your shower." (First, I don't want a shower -- they are trying to force a shower on me to begin with and second, did she not hear what I said about not wanting a bunch of pink or blue crap???). And "Well, you just wait. You just wait until you start trying to shop for this baby and you'll understand." (picture smoke coming out of my ears). You know what's really worrisome about this whole thing? That it is bothering me this much. My parents are kind of old and this is their first grandkid. I'm 35 and just got married last year so their old fashioned little hearts were really starting to get forlorn for a while there. I should be taking lessons on patience, but I think I haven't even made it past the 5 minute mark in a long time. What am I going to do when a baby gets here! Therapy, perhaps! I just took things waaaay off topic. Sorry OP. I think I accidentally had a caffeinated latte this afternoon (and that would make two, since i treat myself on Fridays to begin with!). |
Anonymous
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You know, it's possible that these strangers are just trying to make pleasant conversation. Things like pregnant bellies or little dogs give people an opening to chat. I moved here from a much friendlier place and actually appreciate the interest.
But if you're this stressed out over people guessing gender, just wait until you have your babiees. The advice, cooing, and questions will be never-ending. |
Anonymous
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I think it's sweet, too. Just different attitudes. I know I'm having a girl, but people always guess boy b/c of how I'm carrying. It's just a fun, pleasant exchange. They are always smiling, and it leaves me smiling and feeling special.
Better than being ignored or dealing with the normal rude behavior of many people around here! I'm actually going to miss being pregnant for that reason. So my suggestion is to not view it as "strangers soliciting opinions" which just sounds negative to start with, but "people curious about your baby and reflecting on their own experience." |
Anonymous
| "Really? So is it the baby's tiny penis that makes my belly so pointy? Is that how you can tell?" |
Anonymous
| Why is this annoying? Lighten up, OP. I'm not saying that to be mean. But, in the scheme of questions/comments that could be made, this is relatively harmless. Like it or not, people get excited and curious when they see a pregnant lady. Try to remember that they are not trying to be annoying but most likely, sharing in the excitement and just making conversation. That makes life a little more pleasant. |
Anonymous
I'm not OP, but the moment you tell someone to lighten up, you almost guarantee that your advice will not be taken. Others have already voiced your same sentiment, with much more kindness and tact. And I actually am not trying to be mean, either. I just don't know why people can't refrain from using polarizing language. It's never well taken on this board. |